The Beatitudes Series Part 4
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness’ sake for they shall be filled
By Demiana Salib
“Why are you cast down my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?” (Ps 43:5) – Because, in my deepest distress, I feel like I’m not getting it right. I don’t know what right is. If I make a decision tomorrow, or next week, or next month, I know that I will be wiser even in those short periods of time, but I need to live in the present. And today, I don’t know if this is the right thing to do.
What is the obsession with being right? Right and wrong is all relative to my own personal understanding. In Judges, everyone did what was right in their own eyes and life was chaos, to say the least. So, I can strive to get it right yet still be very wrong.
But God has fulfilled His promise to be there for me always, even when I get it wrong. I can get it wrong 7 times, I can get it wrong 70×7 times which is more maths than I can handle and He will still take me back (Matt. 18:22). So why do I need to be right?
I can be “right,” yet still filled with the same shame and despair. Fr Antony Paul once called the Pharisees the “super righteous, but lacking in heart.” These were the only ones that Christ rebuked – not those that came in sin – because they were righteous in their own eyes (1). Do I want to be right all the time or do I want to be righteous in the eyes of my Father?
“A person may exhaust most of his income in pursuing such [worldly] activities. However, if a servant so much as looks at such things as the main source of mental diversion and spiritual comfort, they will instead trigger acute psychological anxiety. They will waste his time, deplete his health, dwindle his money, spoil his taste for prayer and spiritual activities, and weaken his resolve for repentance.”
Fr Matta El Meskeen
If I strive to be righteous for the sake of being right, I’m only going to pull myself further away from God. I can be achieving what I intended, but there will be a stark reality check when I see how far I have removed myself from Christ. A life of getting it right is a life of anxiety, but it is what we, as humans, have come to know and expect. To hunger and thirst for righteousness in the eyes of the Father is the spiritual height of blessing. To hunger and thirst as if my very existence depended on it.
It is no longer about getting it right but, God, I just want to know You more and more each day. I’m not going to get it right, but for as long as I am spending my days with You, then I know I’m going far. I have tasted the sweetness of Your grace and now, nothing else will satisfy. When I was searching for You at first, I couldn’t see You clearly but as I move closer and closer, You come into focus and my anxieties fade. My decisions become easier, I’m not striving to get it right but to get to know You and all else is secondary.
When I am stuck in my own selfish desires, I want to get it right on my own. But when I look to God, I empty my selfish desires before His Throne and He gives me His grace in return. My repentance is no longer, “God I messed up,” and stops there but, “God, the infinite and eternal, Creator of heaven and earth, I am in awe of You and Your love for humanity, have mercy upon me, a sinner.”
Isaiah teaches us,
“Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does
not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what
is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.” – Isaiah 55:2
It was as if Isaiah knew how we would react to the coronavirus pandemic. The immediate reaction was to start hoarding as many imperishable goods as possible. But why do we spend money on what is not bread? As in, why are we so fixated on more than our daily needs? It is good to plan but in remembrance of, “give us this day our daily bread,” sustain us for today and I know tomorrow is in Your Hands. Then I know my soul will delight in abundance.
It is in the hunger and thirst for righteousness’ sake that God will work all things for good for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). God will make good of even my biggest mistakes if I live to serve Him. I am satisfied in knowing He is in control, and in His control, my darkest of days with Him are still brighter than my brightest days without Him, for the Lord will perfect that which concerns me (Ps 138:8).
The confusion is all cured by one simple prayer: God, if it does not bring me closer to You, then I don’t want it. Although I may not know right from wrong in this lifetime, I will hunger and thirst for righteousness’ sake, not so that I get the answers right, but so I am filled with You, and that I may dwell in the house of the Lord forevermore (Ps 23:6).
(1) full sermon on praying with intent by Fr Antony Paul – https://subspla.sh/2hwp6rx