Restless

Transcribed St Luke’s sermon by Fr Daniel Fanous  

The gospel that we read today is a short Gospel placed between 2 of the most remarkable events that occur in the Gospels.

  1. The multiplication miracle 
  2. Christ talking about the Eucharist and how we should eat His body and blood

So, this Gospel is sandwiched between these two events, and if not read in this context it won’t make too much sense. Once the people have seen the multiplication miracle, they remember Moses when he gave the manna when they were starving. As a result, they try to make Jesus King. It then says that once they did so that Jesus departed alone to the mountain. Afterwards, the disciples waited till later that evening to start crossing the sea of Galilee, and after having rowed 4 miles(7km) they saw that Jesus came walking to them saying to them “it is I, do not be afraid”. 

The next morning, the few thousand people who were on the other side of Galilee got in boats and crossed the sea. When they get there they see that there’s only one boat, then they remembered that Jesus wasn’t on that boat. So they were confused as to how He got there, so they asked him a question (which is the centre of this Gospel); “Rabbi, when did you come here?” Basically asking in a nice way, How did you possibly come here?!

Jesus answers and says, “Most assuredly I say to you, you seek me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.”

But notice that they have forgotten something. They just wanted to make Him king of Israel and now they’ve forgotten. Just yesterday, He had performed a miracle that had convinced them utterly that this Man should be the King of Israel, the Messiah, the Redeemer, the one sent to deliver Israel. And then within hours they’ve completely forgotten. So Christ tells them, You’re only following, not because you saw the signs, but because I fed you.

St John Chrysostom, one of the early church fathers, says, “they forgot about making Him king, that’s how fickle humanity is. Now they just want more food.”

This is the story not only of these few thousand people but of all humanity. This is our entire lives, we chase after satisfaction without looking to the one who satisfies. That is the nature of all lust and desire, you keep chasing it but not seeing that it’s a sign of something else, it points to someone else, it points to a higher union.Every desire, if not looked at our own hearts, is an attempt to be satisfied. Whether its lust, sex, food, pride or vanity. All of these are a yearning to be satisfied, and all of these sins are a state of restlessness, agitation, an attempt to be satisfied but you can’t quite get there. 

St Augustine was somebody who did this for some time. But even when he did try to seek a respectable marriage and left all these women he’s been with and even left his concubine/lover he says that he tried to chase women after women to find satisfaction but he just couldn’t. In his confessions he writes the most stunning line;

“Our hearts were created for God, and so they remain restless until they rest in Him.”Restless being a state of anxiety, agitation and annoyance. 

This is specifically our hearts;  We are in a state of agitation, seeking a higher union, but we just don’t see this. There’s this infinite hole in our hearts and we try to fill it with finite things, things that are limited and cannot satisfy. Then we wonder why we remain anxious, unsatisfied, yearning and addicted. Because what were trying to do is satisfy ourselves infinitely with something that is limited. That is why we must have mercy on those who separate themselves from God, those who sin, those who behave agitatedly. Because this happens in trying to fulfill their desires that are not corrupt or evil, they’re just weak. They’re searching for the one who gives the sign, but they’re stuck on the sign, and they keep going back to the sign, not understanding it and just trying to be satisfied by the sign alone. They forgot to seek God and just try to still that infinite restlessness until they rest in God;

“Most assuredly I say to you, you seek me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.”

Jesus’ words are a response to the agitation of these people; they are a response to us. We have chased the sign and have forgotten the one to whom the sign points to. 

St Augustine says a beautiful line; “How many seek Jesus for no other objective than to gain some kind of temporal benefit?” One has a business that they need help in so they ask for the intercessions of the clergy. Another is oppressed by one that is more superior to them and so they seek God for help to have influence on someone to whom he himself has little influence. Each person wants something.The Church is filled with people like this.

Jesus is scarcely sought after for His own sake.

Even Christ infers that we seek Him not for Him but for something else. And all of these things are signs; something that points to something else. And yet, we can’t see that, were just stuck on the sign. What we think are our goals- Satisfying lust, pride, ambition, glory and love- are in fact just pointers. 

It’s almost as if you make a journey to Niagara Falls. And as you’re walking you see a sign pointing in the direction towards the falls. Then you start taking photos with the sign, you stare at it, you spend time around it and then you go home. Inside you know that there’s something left unsatisfied from the day. Was that what I was really aiming for?

Is that what we were really created for?

This is how we remain unsatisfied and restless. Yet were not sure why. We want something but we don’t even know what. I’ll never forget that when I was a young medical student I was in surgery with one of the top urologists in Australia, and he said to me, ‘Ive chased my entire life to because the number 1 urologist in the number 1 hospital in Australia. I chased it until I became the head of the department, and now I’m 50 years old and I’ve stopped. Yet I can’t stop thinking, what am I doing?’ He was in a state of agitation, always yearning, but not too sure what for. These things leave us empty and don’t actually achieve what they’re mean to achieve. 

St John Chrysostom says from the perspective of Christ; 

I fed your bodies so that after this you may seek the food that endures, which nourishes the soul. But you run right back to the food that is temporal. Therfore you do not understand that I lead you, not to this imperfect food, but to that which nourishes not the body but the soul.”

This material satisfaction is supposed to point us to Him, it Is in itself good, there’s nothing bad with is. Love, intimacy, fear; all of these things are good but they’re only signs pointing to Him. Even today on Valentine’s Day, we should never forget the words of St Paul; 

“But I speak of a greater mystery, that of Christ and the church.”

Even our marriages and our love points to Christ and the church, the laying down of His life for the church and the churches response to that. 

So let us then lift up our eyes to Christ, the one to whom our hearts were created for. The one whom our hearts are restless for, so that we can say with St Augustine “our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” 

What’s remarkable is that at the end of that passage in St Augustine’s confession he ends with this conclusion;

Through Your own merciful dealings with me my Lord and God, tell me what You are to me, say to my soul ‘I am your salvation’, say it so that I can hear it. My heart is listening Lord. Open the ears of my heart and say to my soul, ‘I am your salvation.’ Let me run towards this voice and cease hold of You. Do not hide Your face from me, let me die so that I may see it, for not to see it would be death to me indeed.”

Not seeing the Lord is death. 

Glory be to God forevermore, Amen