Is it Light or Dark?
adapted from a sermon by Dr David Ibrahim
Passage Matthew 6:19-33
Before I begin, I have a confession to make. When I was young, I had a huge fear, and that fear was a fear of the dark. I know some will look upon this with mercy and think it is okay for a five year old to be afraid of the dark. Maybe for a five year old, a ten year old but maybe not for a teenager.
As a teen, there I was doing algebra by day and sleeping with a night light on while I slept. Eventually I overcame my fear of the dark with the help of a very wise friend. Now it serves as a bit of embarrassment but that time has passed.
As I grew older, I realised that there is something more shameful than shame of fear of the dark, and that is being unable to distinguish the light from the dark.
But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
Matthew 6:23
How shameful would it be if all this time I thought I was in the light, but I’ve actually been in darkness all along?
What does it mean to be in darkness? The first thing that comes to mind is being stuck in my sins. Those sins that I’m not able to shake. A certain temperament that I can’t change. My anger, my jealousy, my envy, maybe it’s the guilt of my past mistakes. Maybe it’s addiction. Within all my sins, I find myself in the dark. Maybe it is those areas of my life that I don’t want to acknowledge for fear of the extent of the darkness that will be revealed within me.
Even worse, maybe I’m thinking of Ephesians where St Paul writes, “but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” (Ephesians 5:8). I think that I am okay because I am child of God so I must be walking in the light.
Maybe I’m so comfortable in my darkness, that is becomes my light. The darkness in my life is much more than my sins, my addictions, my mistakes, my guilt. It goes right back to the beginning.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep… Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning were the first day.
Genesis 1:1-6
There is a clear distinction between light and darkness, and the two cannot mix. It is not just those dark patches in my life that cause me to live a life of darkness.
Darkness is anywhere where there is not light. Darkness is the absence of light, the absence of my Saviour.
What does this mean for me? Any area of my life where Christ does not reside is darkness. If God is not with me at work, then I am working in darkness. If Christ is not with me at home, then I am living in darkness. If God is not present on my mouth, then my words speak darkness.
While working, I met a girl about three weeks ago in prison. This girl had a severe mental illness and at the age of thirteen, she began to hear and see things that were not there. These voices spoke in the background, but over time became louder and louder and beckoned her to do violent things. First it was against animals, then against her friends and ultimately led to her imprisonment as a result of the murder of one of her family members at the mere age of fourteen.
When I met her, she said something very profound. She said, “I don’t want these urges. I don’t want these violent urges. I feel like there is so much darkness inside but I can’t get it out. What do I do?”
When I look upon the areas of darkness in my own life, I consider if I have made attempts to welcome in the light.
Do I have the desire to put Christ in the centre of my family, my home, my work? Do I have the desire to overcome the areas of darkness and wickedness that I have ignored for so long? The sins that I have accepted.
If I don’t have the desire, what should I do?
When St Paul recounts his conversions, he speaks about his walk in the darkness, without any knowledge of the true light, until the Lord came to him and pulled him out of his darkness (Acts 21).
The Lord tells us that He is ready and waiting for us, even in our darkness. He invites us to turn our darkness into light. He shines His light upon me, just as He shone His light on St Paul.
When I become comfortable in my darkness, yet those around me think that I am full of light. How could the thought of change ever come to mind? I may be trapped, but even so, the Lord calls out to me.
Even without the desire, the Lord still calls out to me. Today is an invitation to change. All I must ask, “what do I do, my Lord?”
I remember the words of the Lord, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light” (Matthew 6:22).
The eye is the intention – the desire to change. The eye is the mind where God enters my soul. The mind that chooses if I accept the darkness or I pursue the light.
For the girl in prison, the answer she received from my boss was that there are three things that you can do.
Recognise that you must remove the thoughts.
The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.
Romans 13:12
Salvation is nearer now then it has ever been. If I am serious about getting rid of the darkness, and I want to cast off all wickedness. I don’t leave the reminders of my past darkness. I remove every source of darkness. Never leave a thought remain that displeases the Lord. Cast off all distractions.
Be productive
Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
James 1:21
Once the habits have been cast off, we must fill ourselves with the Word of God. Fill your day with the presence of God. Do not allow any time to remain idle.
When the urge arises, come and tell us
Arise and go into Damascus, and there you will be told all things which are appointed for you to do.
Acts 22:10
God tells St Paul to seek the help of His servant, Ananias. For us, we have confession. The Lord gives power to Ananias to heal the blindness of Saul. Go, and confess, so that your soul may receive light.
We know remaining in the light will always be a struggle. One time, the boss came and told us that the girl had said that she was trying to fight the thoughts. She tells us whenever there is an urge. She is trying to fill her days with good and productive things, but she was still feeling the darkness.
Christ addresses this in the remainder of the Gospel. Do not worry. How many times does He say, “Do not worry.” We continue seeking the righteousness of God despite the set backs.
He tells us that He sees our struggle, keep going, and do not worry.
Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;
Micah 7:8
When I fall, I will arise;
When I sit in darkness,
The Lord will be a light to me.
I start again, and I keep seeking. We all have areas of darkness, emptiness and voids that lack Christ. Even without the desire, it is okay. The Lord will meet us where we are and invite us into His light. Cast off all wickedness and enter into the light. I fill my day with the Word. When it gets too hard, I have confession and start again.
Have mercy on me, O Lord, according to Your great mercy. Come to me quickly according to Your goodness, O’ Master and reject not my prayer. It is true that even my repentance is impure. For I spend one day repenting and two days offending You. Send my heart fear of You and confirm my soul on the rock of true repentance. May the light of Your grace overcome the darkness that is within me. May the light of Your grace overcome the darkness that is within me.
St Ephraim the Syrian