The Divine Triangle
By Caroline Guirgis
And the two shall become one flesh
Ephesians 5:31-32
How can two people become one? What occurs during a matrimonial ceremony?
It is crucial we understand what the true meaning of marriage is. In doing so, we read the manual of the One who designed marriage. The Holy Bible is the primary resource we read to gain wisdom and understanding of this holy mystery. The Bible is the Word of Life and through the Holy Spirit we are enlightened, our minds are transformed, and we are conformed into the image of God. Marriage reflects God and His love for us.
It is imperative we value the purpose of God’s ambition of marriage. God designed marriage to reflect the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church. The primary purpose was to demonstrate to mankind the intimate relationship He longs to have with us. God created us to abide with Him for eternity and He wants us to understand the depth of such an intimate bond. He wisely gifted us with the sacrament of marriage because the intimacy between a husband and wife is pure, sacred, and beautiful. Marriage is a mystery, a divine mystery — it contains and conceals a meaning far greater than what we see on the outside.
When we study the Coptic Church and its Matrimonial Ceremony, we begin to respect the significance of marriage. In the Coptic Church, the sacred name of a wedding is The Crowning Ceremony. We are not merely attending a wedding but are witnessing the divine and mystical union of the bride and groom becoming king and queen of their new Godly ordained kingdom. They become One with Christ through the Holy Spirit. It is the Divine Triangle.
Just like Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, waits for us, the groom waits for his bride at the church. Together they process following the deacons and priests to the altar. The altar’s veil is drawn, and prayers are lifted to the throne of God. The repetitive prayers, raising of incense, and hymns invoke the mystical presence of God’s Spirit.
The priest ties the wedding rings with a scarlet ribbon and blesses them by making the sign of the Cross three times. As he prays over the rings, he blesses the covenant of love between the bride and groom in the name of Jesus Christ. The scarlet ribbon represents the greatest act of love, the blood of Christ shed on the Cross. As the couple hold this ribbon, blessings are being prayed upon them.
The prayers continue with selected scriptures which are specific to this holy union. The passage from Ephesians 5:22 – 6:3 lays down the foundation for the new home church. The Psalms reference the bridegroom (Psalm 19:5-6) and bride (Psalm 128:3), followed by the Gospel of Matthew 19:4 – 6 where the church orates the vows to the couple. The verses reiterate the law of monogamy, the two becoming one flesh, and the continuity of the marriage. Though the couple does not verbally exchange vows, they make a vow when they sign the marriage contract and receive the prayers.
The church places heavy emphasis on the anointing of holy oil. It is biblical and revered by the Orthodox church. The priest anoints the couple and prays: “As a weapon for righteousness and justice; an anointing for purity and incorruptibility; radiance and beauty that will never fade, and a renewal and salvation for their souls, their bodies and their spirits.”
The priest then prays over the vestments and the crowns so that the couple may receive glory, honor, wisdom, virtue, and strength. The priest crowns the newly married couple. The Priest puts the robe on the husband, declaring him the priest of the new church. Every marriage represents a new church. As the new priest of his home, the husband spiritually guides his family. This does not diminish the wife’s role, but the Lord created the woman to be the helper. When we reflect on the Trinity – God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, we liken that relationship to marriage, God – Husband – Wife. The Holy Spirit is the Helper, the Comforter, and the Supporter. The Trinity would be incomplete without the Holy Spirit and marriage would not exist without the wife. Her role as the helper is just as vital as her husband’s.
The wedding rings are a mark of the covenant of love. The priest beseeches God to join and unite the couple, making them one flesh. The Holy Spirit descends on the rings, it is divine, mystical, and beautiful. The rings are placed on their left fingers, which are closer to the heart. The couple continues to hold hands symbolizing oneness in spirit and the priest covers their hands. They kneel before the altar to receive the exhortation, blessing, and absolution. They make a promise to each other in the presence of Jesus Christ. The marriage is now between three, The Divine Triangle = God + husband + wife. God is the strong bond that blesses and protects the marriage. He seals it with the Holy Spirit and mankind cannot break this union without grieving the Holy Spirit.
What now? Marriage’s struggle, some persevere while others are broken. In this world we continue to suffer tribulations. Husbands and wives are hurt, broken, and fallen people. Life happens. People have divorced and it may or may not have been their decision. It happens. So, what now? The Lord overcame the troubles of this world and won the war. He empowers us to fight the daily battles. The solution is profound yet simple. The formula was given to us, and God went so far as to give us the answer too. We have the answer key to the test. It is the Divine Triangle.
When marriage seems to be a struggle, we remember our eternal Bridegroom who struggled in love for us first. Set your eyes upon the eternal Bridegroom, and He shall direct you in all love to your earthly spouse. Set your spouse aside for now and pray for them, “Lord I present my spouse to you.” Moreover, “Lord have mercy on my spouse and change my heart.” Fast, pray, and receive communion without ceasing. Serve others while you struggle. The Lord is handling your situation and opens doors for you to spread His love.
The Holy Spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is the same Spirit that made you one with your spouse. Remember our Lord is merciful, compassionate, and patient. Though we become angry at the one who strays, the Lord waits for that same one to return. And you know what is so sweet about that? The Lord waits on us, too. He never gives up on His children. . Please rest in His presence and trust His plan. Ultimately, all marriages united through the Holy Spirit belong to God first.
Pray for me as I prayed for you while writing this post.