Drumroll, Please

Drumroll, Please

By Marc Bastawrous


Just as my friend was about to share his news with us, he paused, took a breath, then turned to me and said, “drumroll, please.”

You’ve almost definitely been in this situation before. The drumroll has been around longer than most of us have been alive. In fact, it is known to have originated in the early 20th century and was frequently used during the rise of the travelling circus and vaudeville (some musical thing, don’t worry). Its purpose was to build suspense leading up to a final act. For example, a performer in the 1920’s known as “The Great Regurgitator” would request a drumroll before spitting a mouthful of kerosene into flames, igniting the cheers of onlookers wherever he travelled.

As time went on, the drumroll made its way into our daily lives as a prelude to our ‘good news.’ In the process of delivering good news with the aid of a drumroll, there is always a silence that breaks up the drum roll and the news. It’s often just a brief moment of silence that precedes the news, but it is long enough to build suspense up to a climactic point. The news is then delivered at this pinnacle of suspense and what often follows is jubilation. Hysteria at the joyful news! Scenes will often look as such:

*drumroll*

*silence*

“We’re having a baby!”

*drumroll*

*silence*

“I got the job!”

You get the point.

Essentially, the picture I am trying to paint is one of preparation. Not just any preparation, but preparation for something joyful, something that will make hearts dance. This image is just a fraction of the build-up that we have undertaken towards what is undoubtedly the most joyful day in the Church’s calendar – the Resurrection of Christ.

Picture the period of Lent as our drumroll. Each week we are being inundated with lessons on the Lord’s journey to accomplishing salvation for the whole world. First, He triumphs over temptation in the wilderness. Then we are introduced to the concept of repentance in the story of a boy and his Father. We discover that His mission is not only for the Jews, but that His message is for anyone with a heart open to listening – and that includes a certain Samaritan by the Well. There is sense of urgency as each week passes, a sense that we are in fact, building up to something momentous. The climax of this drumroll is reached as He rides a donkey victoriously into the city, basking in the praises of the people and entering the temple in power and glory!

And then, the sounds of the drumroll cease.

We enter into the church for the very first Pascha service, the reader gets up to read the very first prophecy of the week from the book of Zephaniah and says:

“Be silent in the presence of the Lord GOD; For the day of the Lord is at hand, For the Lord has prepared a sacrifice; He has invited His guests.” (Zephaniah 1:7)

The first reading of the week is a call to silence. And this year, more than any other Holy Week in our lives, this is precisely how we spent this past week. In the silence of our homes. In the quietness of our secret places as we followed the Lord through His Passion.

We were quiet as He rebuked the fig tree, contemplating our own fruitlessness. We were quiet as He spoke of the end to come, reflecting on the frailty of our lives. We were quiet in His betrayal, His denial, His loneliness, His trial. We have been quiet through it all.

And in front of the Cross, we stood – just like all of Heaven did in that very moment – in stunned silence. As the Lamb of God took our place, stretched out His hands and died in place of us all in an act of spectacular love.

This week is our brief moment of silence. But the Church, like Christ, could not remain silent. Because what follows the silence must be, the good news.

All of Heaven and Earth, in unison, is at its loudest the moment Christ rose from the grave. A friend once told me, “the silence of this past week is just a way to set us up for the thunder of Joyous Saturday.” And I feel that statement every time I hear the Church singing ‘Come All You Heavenly Hosts.’ Because the greatest news in the history of the world was shared today. Christ is risen so now our faith is not empty (1 Cor 15:14). Christ is risen so now we have become victors over death (1 Cor 15:55). Christ is risen so now we have new life (Romans 6:4). This is news worth shouting over!

And so what if we’re in our homes? Sing loudly! We’ve had the drumroll, we’ve endured the silence, now it’s time to join in the greatest news ever shared. Let the world hear it from every home, from every corner in the globe. Christ is risen!

There’s a story that has been making the rounds on social media since the closure of the churches about a Caliph in 11th Century Egypt who closed all churches for 9 years. When, one day, he decided to take a stroll through a street where he knew Copts lived and heard loud chanting coming from each of their homes. He turned to his advisor and said, “open up their churches.” The advisor, confused, asked him, “why?” To which the Caliph responded, “I wished to close a church on every corner, they opened one in every home.

I tried long and hard to dig up more details on this inspiring story but had very little luck. I was specifically after a date of this occurrence asking myself the question, “what happened on this day within the life of the church that made her voice so audible?” Maybe I’m wrong (I’m usually wrong), but I believe this day was Joyous Saturday. A day when the Church could not keep silent. A day when the Church would have her voice heard!

And now it’s our turn to let history hear our voices. Because I have some news.

You ready?

*drumroll*

*silence*

“He’s alive!”

You know the rest…

How Much Does God Love Me?

How Much Does God Love Me?

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Elijah Iskander


Holy Week leads up to the crucial death of our Lord. If we were to summarise this week in one phrase, it is, The Cross. If the Cross was described in another way, that is loveThe Cross is Love.

We preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. – 1 Cor. 1:23-24.

To some, the Cross is foolishness, how could you believe in a god that would accept to be treated in this way? Others take it one step further and say that it is a stumbling block. I want to believe but I can’t.

To some it is weakness, agony, failure. Even some Christian denominations have this view; that Jesus was the victim.

To the Orthodox Christian, the Cross is victory and power, but above all the Cross is love.

If we knew how much God loved us, our lives would be different. If we knew the depth of His love for us personally, our lives would be renewed!

We meet so many characters in the Scriptures of Holy Week. All their thoughts and actions could be understood by asking one question – did you know how much God loved you?

We read about the Israelites in the prophecy of the sixth hour of Good Friday. After they saw the ten plaques, after the first-born of the Egyptians die, after the Red Sea is parted and they escape, after they receive manna from heaven, they then complain against God. We read, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt to kill us in the desert, For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” The Lord Himself sent bread from Heaven to sustain them but even this, they did not like. (Numbers 21:5).

After everything the Lord had done for the people of Israel, the question becomes, did you forget how much He loves you?

If we look at Judas, a key figure of Holy Week, the question becomes, did you ever realise that Christ loved you? While other church fathers disagree, St John Chrysostom believes that Christ did wash Judas’ feet along with the other disciples. He did this to show him that He loved him. He wanted to give him one more chance. Maybe this would move his heart. Maybe this would have stopped Judas’ scheme. Maybe this would soften his heart.

If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him, would he have sold Him so cheaply for thirty pieces of silver? It would be impossible. If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him, would he have been able to go and betray Him with a kiss – an intimate, calculated and premeditated act? If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him then his life would have been very different. Perhaps the question for Judas becomes, did you ever know how much the Lord loved you?

If we look at the two thieves that were crucified with Christ, we see two different perceptions of the crucified Christ. In the right-hand thief’s creed of Good Friday, we say, “What did you see and what did you comprehend,” to be able to confess Christ as King?

The left-hand thief didn’t see or hear anything, we know this because we hear him blaspheme against the Lord when he said, “If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us” (Luke 23:39). If the left thief had known how much the Lord loved him, his words would have been very different. If he comprehended how much Christ loved him, perhaps he would have cried out like the right-hand thief, who could see how much Christ loved him. Even if every moment of his life had been away from Christ in not a negligent way, but intentionally for he was a robber, he was yet able to comprehend Christ’s love. He looked at Christ and saw how much He loved him. He saw that Christ could overlook what he had done. It was not too late for the boundless love of the Lord.

The sinner woman rushed into the Pharisee house uninvited, breaks the flask of alabaster oil, loosens her hair and wipes His feet with her. She made a spectacle of herself. She knew how much Christ loved her, she knew He would defend her, she knew He would honour her and say, “what this woman has done will be told as a memorial to her” (Matthew 26:13). Because she knew how much Christ loved her, her actions without words, were testament to her recognition of Christ’s love for her.

St Peter also, loved the Lord but in an impulsive moment he denied Him. If St Peter remembered in that specific moment how much the Lord loves him then it would be impossible for him to deny. There was a momentary lapse; a moment that his fear clouded his vision of Christ’s love.

Finally, St John the Beloved; the one whom Jesus loved. The one who knew how much Jesus loved him. He was unwavering in faith, standing at the foot of the Cross when all the other disciples had scattered. He could do this because he knew how much the Lord loved him, his words and actions were different. He was the one whom Jesus loved.

For us on Good Friday, we must reflect on these characters. I ask myself, in the midst of uncertainty, pestilence, plaque, setbacks in study or health, am I like Israel, forgetting what the Lord has done for me in the past? If I knew how much the Lord loves me, I will never be shaken.

Am I like Judas? If I know how much the Lord loves me, will I betray Him for a cheap lie? An inappropriate image or thought? An inappropriate relationship? If I know how much the Lord loves then my response to His love is an inability to do these things.

Am I like the right-hand thief? I know how much You love me, even if I have sinned and been far from You up until this day, I know it is never too late, I know You still have hope for me. I know that You can still accept me.

If we know how much the Lord loves us, our words, actions and lives will be different. Knowing the Lord is more than just information, we must have intimate knowledge of the Bible.

What if I don’t know the Lord loves me? Knowing the Lord runs much deeper than facts, but having intimate knowledge of the Bible. How then, can I remind myself?

The Cross. Look at the Cross. Contemplate the Cross. Sit at the foot of the Cross. Pray, Lord, I just need to remember, I just need to know how much You love me. This becomes easy, for we love for He first loved us.

He bows his head, as if to kiss you. His heart is made bare open, as it were, in love to you. His arms are extended that he may embrace you. His whole body is displayed for your redemption. Ponder how great these things are. Let all this be rightly weighed in your mind: as he was once fixed to the cross in every part of his body for you, so he may now be fixed in every part of your soul.”

St Augustine

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The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

by Sandra
Original post by Becoming Fully Alive blog site


The cross must have looked like a failed mission.

I think of Good Friday, of the Son of God breathing His last, of His followers watching from afar in dismay and horror as the gruesome events unfolded one by one. I think of them looking on in disbelief as they held their breath and held on to some last hope that things wouldn’t end that way, that there would be a dramatic turn around of circumstance and the sky would rend open as the Father’s power and majesty thundered and delivered the Son in a grand display.

Yet, His head hung low and He died.

I wonder how everyone felt at that moment; the teary eyed knocked breathless, the disillusioned riled up with anger. As the disciples lay hidden in fear, the smell of bread and wine from just one night before lingering in their lungs. As His followers walked away from the scene and returned to their homes, His words still running through their minds. Could they have gotten it so wrong? Could they have misread all the signs? Surely His words were true? Surely if He was God’s Son they couldn’t have killed Him? What comes next?

Confused, restless, crushed.

Waking up numb and blindsided to a dark Saturday morning and remembering all over again what they witnessed on Friday. How he’d gone just as quickly as he’s come into their lives. How everything would go back to the way it was without him. How nothing will ever really change and they must face this hopeless reality as their permanent reality.

Anxious, disappointed and defeated.

How many of us are living in Saturday? We were promised deliverance, we were hanging on to His words that it’s His good pleasure to give us the Kingdom and yet we think of certain points in our pasts, certain relationships, certain failures and disasters and we feel so far from that sanctification we longed for, and that newness of hope we were sure was coming.
How many of us look back and see an empty cross and Jesus is still buried in a tomb when we think of those Friday nights of our past?

We look now on the cross and we think of redemption, reconciliation, and salvation. But on that Saturday with Christ hung high, the choice words must have looked a lot different, a lot like: shame, disappointment and despair.

Will we live out our Saturday till the dawn of Sunday? There’s always two ways to tell the story of the cross. Will we choose to tell it way we know to be true? Will we choose the story that ends on Sunday morning with Christ risen trampling death and our past and our shame in the tomb instead?

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“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Because we are not our past, yet we cannot deny the story existed, and we existed in it. But we can choose how we tell this story to ourselves. We can chose whether it becomes our whole story or just part of our story. We can tell it to ourselves in a way that the darkness turns into a canvas for all the foolish pride and vain idols to lose their grip as our saviours as we learn to grope in the dark and grip onto Him, finding our heart’s true desire. We can tell it so that our words pave a path through darkness – a path of letting go, a path of abandoning oneself, losing oneself, and in so doing ultimately finding what is real.

“Heaven is God and God is in our heart” so we are living in the eternal now, with the sacred inside. Wherever we go we can bring the Kingdom. And when our mind travels down memory lane and our hearts beat heavy and our spirits falter fast we can bring our stories of old into His kingdom and His eternal story

An eternal story of calmed fear and restored hope
An eternal story our deep and irrevocable communion with the Divine
An eternal story of all that was once corrupted with fickle inconsistencies and restless unfaithfulness restored to their heavenly natures.

And when we tell our story in this way to ourselves we can begin to transcend ourselves on our way to reunification with God. To see God is to see His energies and light through everything and everyone – through our past and our shame. We are a light of love eternal and St Symeon the New Theologian once said: “God is light and all those whom He makes worthy to see Him receive Him as light”

So endure the dark night, it is a guiding night and a night more kindly than the dawn. And let the night leave you vulnerable to God to recreate you as you were made to be: lovers of God and one another. Love is the law. “Let Love come first, it should be the beginning of, and the reason for everything.” So that wherever you go you may see Light.

Will you tell the story of your past in a way that frees you? The pieces of your past and every last wound must no longer be buried with Him and sealed with a stone beyond reach.

It is Sunday morning.

There is an empty cross, there is an empty tomb and there is a risen King. A risen King who is telling a new story of our past – broken homes, broken hearts and all. A risen King who is the Word so He gets the last word. For He gathers all the broken words in every line of every story we’ve strung along and unites all of our words to all of Him, giving them Life. “That is the good news of the Incarnation. The Word becomes flesh and thus a new place is made where all of you and all of God can dwell. When you have found that unity, you will be truly free” Henri Nouwen

And we will run, living testimonies of the great Love story.

“because of the tender mercy of our God,
whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:78-80

“oh as you run, what hindered love will only become part of the story” Bethel

Original blog found at – http://becomingfullyalive.com/the-past-is-just-a-story-we-tell-ourselves/

Drowning in Mercy

Drowning in Mercy

Adapted from a sermon by Johnny Sharkawi


Would it be accurate to say that God’s mercy is available to us?

To anyone in the church, the answer would be, yes. The Bible presents us with a different answer. A more accurate answer is that God dumps His mercy on our heads.

A common prayer that Fr Elijah would pray was, “Thank You God for pouring Your mercy and blessings upon us.” I would hear this prayer time and time again. The attitude that God is pouring mercy without falter is the more accurate description.

What is strange is that in the Bible, God pours mercy even on those that do not ask for it. On the Cross, there were none that asked for His mercy. The reality was that they were opposing Him. The first time He opened His mouth on the Cross was to pour mercy upon them. He said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Even to those that did not ask nor want His mercy, the Lord still with the largest bucket possible, dumped His mercy upon them.

Till today, He continues to poor blessings on those that do not ask. In Matthew 5:45, we read, “for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” His mercy is poured on the evil, just as the sun rises on all people. There is no distinction made between His children, all receive mercy. It would be weak for us to say that His mercy is merely available to us. God does not reluctantly give mercy if we beg. He is not that kind of Lord.

Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.” – Isaiah 1:18.

He says, ‘come,’ as if the Lord is grabbing us by the arm and pulling us. He wants to reason with us that even though we are sinful, He wants to make us white like snow. This is not a Lord reluctantly giving away mercy but a Lord that is looking for every opportunity to give away His mercy.

Another example of His pleasure in mercy is in Micah 7:18-19; “Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea.”

The Lord’s delight is in mercy. If you think of the way you delight in your favourite meal, you do not leave in remnants behind. You lick the plate clean, and you get every last drop off your fingers, too. You do this in delight. This is the Lord’s approach to mercy. The Lord’s delight is in mercy so that His forgiveness is never short of 100%. He licks His fingers until there is no mercy left to give, this is His greatest delight.

More than this, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” – Isaiah 43:25.

He tells us that He forgives us not for our sake, but His. Even if we do not want our sins forgiven, He can’t help but forgive. This is the extent of His mercy, He wants it more than we do. He does not desire the death for a single sinner but that all should return and live (Ezekiel 18:23).

If we were to ask the Lord what he really wanted from us, I think He would respond in the same way He responded in Ezekiel 36: 25-26, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 

Why does the Lord want us to be clean? Because it is a pre-requisite to seeing God. If we are to see God, we must first be clean. In Hebrews 12:14, it says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

We will not see the Lord without holiness. The objective is not to be clean in our own eyes, or to be clean in the eyes of other people, but am I clean in God’s eyes? Without true holiness that only the Lord sees, we will not be able to see Him.

The Lord pours His mercy, He dumps His mercy on us all now so that now is the time to pursue holiness so we may see the Lord. There will come a time that the door will be shut and it will not be opened again. We must pursue holiness now while His mercy is being poured upon us.

Many of us will ask is confession a struggle? The answer is yes. Even HH Pope Kyrillos VI would agree, he said, “do not keep your thoughts hidden but struggle to purify your thoughts through confession.” It is a struggle; It is not easy. If we take on the heart of Jesus who said, “I am gentle and lowly in heart,” (Matthew 11:29) then confession will be easier. A major reason why we find confession is a struggle is because we want to look good. I want Abouna to think well of me. The truth is, it is my pride that stops me from confessing my sins.

On Covenant Thursday, the Lord breaks Himself for us. He took His Body (that is the Eucharist), and He broke Himself for our sake. Confession is me breaking myself, for my own sake.

“Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left.” – Matthew 24:40. Confessions is the difference between the one taken and the one left behind. We do this for ourself. We do not have confession so that we can tell others that we have had confession and we are now clean, but we do it so that we may be clean in God’s eyes. We do it so that we are not the ones left behind of Judgement day. The door is open now while we have life in us.

Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon” – Isaiah 55:6-7.

The Lord is ready to pour His mercy and He waits for us. The Lord is so simple, repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand (Matthew 3:2). Sometimes, we translate this wrongly, because we are complicated while the Lord is simple. We interpret this as dwell on your sin, for the Kingdom is at hand. Think a lot about your sin. Feel really bad about your sin. Let this manifest into depression about your sin. Hide your sin. This is complex and it is not the Bible. If we are weighed down by our sin then we have missed the whole point of the week.

The Lord shed His blood to make us clean. We do not need to carry our sin. He came that we may have life and live it more abundantly (John 10:10).

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Journey of Resilience

Journey of Resilience

Adapted from a sermon by HG Bishop Angaelos


There are many elements of our ‘journey’ during passion week. Most are inspiring and uplifting, for this is a wonderful journey to be with our Lord. It is a time of joy, growth, power and faith. It is a time to witness and a time to serve. 

Tonight, we see another element of this journey – a journey of perseverance. A journey of resilience and focus, where we come to understand the direction this journey is heading in… 

We see the obstacles that the Lord must face in the space of a few hours. He is betrayed by one of his disciples and abandoned by all his disciples. He was arrested, rejected, captured unjustly, tried, and had false witness borne against him. And of course, he was subject to extreme insult and injury. Yet our Lord, the incarnate word, continued in His mission. 

It is a beautiful journey, but it is a journey to an end. It’s end that doesn’t come easily. For our Lord suffered this to give us a completely countercultural message. He went against every norm and He did it with power, strength, grace and love, with a divine perseverance and endurance that inspires us. 

On our personal journeys, we may face some or all of these obstacles. For most people, that’s the end of it. We get angry, upset, disappointed or disillusioned. We often forget that there are people who have been offended by these obstructions and have left the church. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have resilience or strength – but what we need to consider is what we are doing about it. How are we, in our journeys, inspiring them to return? How are we trying to fix the betrayal, the denial, the rejection and marginalisation? 

I can’t imagine going into a life-threatening situation, where my life depended on your witness, and one of you, after all these years, suddenly says, “I don’t know him”. Not once, not twice, but three times. What effect would that have on me or you? 

What effect would it have on me if I thought I was speaking the truth, and quite blatantly saw someone bearing false witness? How would I react or feel? 

We put ourselves in the place of our Lord in this situation, maybe we can put ourselves in the place of those who have been mocked, abandoned, marginalised, persecuted and denied. And then we can try to see how we can heal that. 

We often focus on the message that we need to be resilient. Which is true. But we also need to care for those who may have been less resilient, whether through intention or negligence, whether through their fault of ours. For the journey of our Lord, in flesh, to the cross and beyond the cross was a journey for us. He walked every mile for us. 

If we come out of this week with anything, let it be that we remember to walk in the footsteps of our Lord beyond this week. Now we have a constant reminder, but on Saturday, the black drapes are gone, the hymnology’s changed, the readings are different to suit the new season.

Does that stop us from journeying in his footsteps? Does it stop us from remembering that His journey was for those who were outcast and living in darkness and the shadow of death? He didn’t discriminate based on whether we were intentional or negligent, but he came for all. 

It’s easy for us to focus on the cross this week and it’s important, but the cross should be something we carry with us always in our hearts throughout our Christian journey. We carry it, we persevere, but we know that it is the Lord who carries the cross with us, and sometimes for us as well. 

It’s easy for us to lose steam and become bored of these same issues. But thankfully, this is not how God looks at us. Every day He deals with the same issues, same insecurities and inadequacies and sinfulness, but he is resilient and persistent. We are able to journey regardless, courageous and confident that we are not alone. 

In tonight’s setting, He was completely alone. Being brought before a counsel, He was tried and sentenced with all those He had known, mentored, taught, supported and healed all gone. There was not an adulteress or leper or even disciple in sight. No one. 

Yet for us, our situation is never so dire because there is always someone there for us. Even if we don’t feel it or believe it, we are there for one another. The Church is there. The body of Christ is there. Your confession father is there. Your spiritual guide is there. Your companion is there. Your servant is there. This is a journey that we take together, and we are never completely alone. 

Satan often tells us that we are completely alone. Yet we are not, and we are confident in that.

So as we journey tonight, and as we continue in the knowledge that beyond the cross there is a resurrection, we are confident that our God is with us. We are confident that we are never alone. The Lord says to us that in our patience, we will possess our souls. He tells us to be brave. Not to worry. He tells us that He will never leave nor abandon us. These aren’t empty words – they are divine promises.

Our God is a God of fulfilled promises. 

We persevere because we know what the end is. Beyond this life, there is a life to come, and that is what we are aiming for. But we don’t want to go there alone – we need to remember all those who may be feeling exactly the same as we are. Those who are deceived into feeling that they are alone. 

This is where it is important for us to not only see God’s actions in our lives, but how He desires our actions to be in the lives of others. We do not deceive, we do not abandon, we do not betray, we do not bear false witness, we do not perform acts of injustice, because if they hurt the Lord, they will hurt us. If they hurt us, they will surely hurt everyone else. 

It is a blessed journey, but one that needs focus, resilience and the confidence that it is a journey alongside our Lord, Who takes us beyond the cross and resurrection into the life that He has promised us. 

The Cross

The Cross

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Augustinos Nada


Crucifixion started in about 600 BC by the Babylonians who were crucifying people on trees. The person would be nailed to the tree and their body would be left for the animals and birds to prey on. Very barbaric!

The Romans modified this method of punishment and became experts in crucifying people. The word excruciating comes from a Latin word which means crucifixion, and it describes the severe pain which is exactly what the Lord endured. A very severe pain both on the cross and leading to the cross. In icons, you notice that a lot of the crosses are very high and tall, but in reality, some of the scholars say that Roman crosses were not that high, only about two meters or so. This allowed for anyone to approach the person on the cross to slap, spit, curse or abuse them. It was quite humiliating, in addition to the pain.

Christ was crucified outside Jerusalem as the Jews believed that if anyone was to die, especially criminals, they should not to be executed or put to death in Jerusalem, in their holy city, because that was regarded as defiling the land. They wanted Christ to be crucified in accordance to the law in Deuteronomy that said anyone who hangs on a tree is, “cursed by God” (Deut. 21:22-23). The Lord was crucified outside the city and on a place called Golgotha. Some traditions say that this is the place where Adam was buried and this is quite ironic. The second Adam, the one who lifts the curse from us and opens the doors of Paradise outdoes the consequence of the first Adam’s actions.

The greatest miracle witnessed on the Cross was the acceptance of the right hand thief, who acknowledged and accepted the true faith. In itself, this is the greatest miracle. The Lord rose many people and performed countless miracles, including Lazarus, but all those died again. The situation with the right hand thief was the raising of the spiritually dead person who was granted everlasting life. Even while on the Cross, the Lord was still giving and performing miracles.

More still, there was darkness all over the land from the sixth hour (Matt 27:45). In 55 AD, a Jewish historian recorded that there was some kind of eclipse during the year of the Lord Jesus Christ although it was later confirmed that there was no eclipse, as this was not the time for it. Something clearly dramatic happened at this time that had the appearance of the darkness of an eclipse but was beyond what Science could explain. This is why the church switches off the lights from the sixth hour to commemorate this unusual darkness at the time Christ gave up His soul.

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46). A lot of people think that He is praying to the Lord because He is in agony. He was in fact directing us to Psalm 22. Psalm 22 describes the Lord’s crucifixion and all the things that happened to Him in those hours. When the Lord says, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me,” He was simply directing them to the Psalm. In those days, psalms were not numbered and so, the people would know the psalm by its opening line.

The Lord also said “I thirst.” In response to this, they gave Him sour wine, which is very old wine. The aim of this was to lessen the pain, as an analgesic but instead, the Lord refused it. The reason for this was because Christ didn’t want to soften the blow. He wanted to feel the full extent of the pain. He wanted to feel the pain and the suffering for the salvation of humankind. He was not forced to die, He went to the Cross willingly and accepted every bit of suffering for our sakes.

In the Gospel of St John, it says that the Lord bowed His head, and gave up His soul (John 19:30). Normally, at death, a person will die and then bow their head. Christ did the opposite. It was almost a display of honour to the Father as He gave up His soul. Christ was in full control throughout all His suffering. The Lord was so unique and so wise in all these happenings. If the Jews still could not see this, the veil of the Temple was torn, a declaration that the self-righteous Jews were not worthy of the Holiest of Holies.

The splitting of the veil of the Temple was a prophecy about the destruction of the Temple while Christ opened the Holies of Holy for all mankind to enter into the joy of the Lord. This allows Christians to come and partake of the Holies of Holy. It is no longer only the Jews that were God’s chosen people but all people.

We are so privileged to be Christian! We are so honoured to be Christians; to know and understand what the Lord did for our sake. To see how much suffering and how much pain He experienced, the nails, the scourging, the humiliation, that was on the Cross and all this was for our salvation.

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Not One Bone Broken

Not One Bone Broken

By Shery Abdelmalak


The climax of the greatest love story ever told with the ultimate sacrifice of the most perfect Bridegroom. Every moment of human history came down to this one fateful day. The final covenant between God and His creation, a promise of salvation and freedom for the faithful.

Every little detail on this day had profound meaning and a tremendous cost. Nothing was by accident, all the prophecies led to this final moment of the Lord’s crucifixion. Our God, the author of Love, orchestrated every little detail to show us His Love truly knows no bounds. While there were moments that seemed unnecessarily harsh, these were glimpses into His everlasting love. For it was in His affliction that we hear His call, “I am my beloved’s, And my beloved is mine” (Song of Solomon 6:3). 

The Jews were relentless, but they stopped short in one instance. When they went to break the legs of the crucified, they found that Jesus had breathed His last and there was no need. Some early church fathers have contemplated the question, why the legs? Why not the head, for a swift death? Breaking the legs caused the greatest pain, while speeding up death slightly. They wanted them to die faster, but not without pain. They needed the bodies to be taken down before the Passover so that the stench of the dead bodies did not defile the atmosphere. God-forbid they appeared to be an unclean nation. They were completely blinded to reality and fixated on an honourable appearance, and so, our Bridegroom still had more ways of showing His love to soften even the hardest hearts.

To their surprise, Christ had died already. Could it be that this was a sacrificial death? Could He really be the Saviour they had waited for? We know He died out of free will, out of love. This was His choice to grant us freedom. By His death, He overcame death so that it could no longer have dominion over us. Through His victory in love, He gave up His Spirit at a time He chose, at the fulfilment of all the prophecies, and not at the expected time.  

The Jews knew their prophecies and maybe it was in this moment that they recalled the sacrifice the Israelites offered in remembrance of their freedom from the Egyptians. The one sacrifice that the Lord commanded, “nor shall you break one of its bones” (Ex 12:46), was Christ the sacrifice of freedom; 

He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken. – Ps. 34:20

If Christ had endured the height of suffering already, why stop at the breaking of bones? Beyond the prophecies, there is more the Bridegroom has to offer to you and I, His bride. We are the bones of Christ. We may endure suffering, but we do not break away from Him. We remain in Christ and by His stripes we are healed (Is. 53:5). For it was in the crucifixion that we were freed from the death of sin and united with Christ for eternity, so how could any one of His bones be broken?

We may leave Christ, but Christ will never leave us. There were so many signs, calling out to the hardest of hearts. When we look upon the hidden brokenness of the heart, the pain almost physical yet unseen. The brokenness we experience, caused by our own accord or otherwise, represents a detachment from the Bridegroom. 

When a bone is broken, modern medicine teaches us that it will never be as strong as it was before. If you repeatedly break the same bone, extra precautions are taken to prevent future breakages. To protect a heart that has been broken, we harden its surroundings, we don’t let people in, just in case it breaks in the same way it broke before – just in case that the next time it breaks, it is beyond repair. 

Don’t show love. Don’t show weakness. Don’t show any sign of humanity that can lead to being hurt.  

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.’

C.S. Lewis

That is option one. 

Option two, the option that Christ gives us on the Cross – choose love. Choose love that breaks. When a broken heart is given to God, He heals it so that it is stronger than it ever was before. 

I am dark, but lovely” (Song of Solomon 1:5). I may be tainted by mistakes, sin, brokenness, but this does not cause God to love me any less. On the contrary, He calls for the one lost sheep among the hundred. For every mistake I make and the subsequent hurt I feel, He heals my heart, He makes me capable of loving more than I ever could before. He helps me fight the reflex to harden against things that hurt me. To harden against pain is to choose a bandaid over the healing Hands of God. He can only heal wounds that are given to Him as they are, as wretched as they may be. May we always remember that on Good Friday, Christ endured all suffering but did not allow His bones to be broken, He did not allow His children to be broken away from Him. There is no hurt too great that He cannot repair.

Our brokenness is a calling to love, to be reunited with Christ in repentance. When we come back to Christ in repentance, we are not just healed, but renewed. Let it break, let it be renewed, for this is the purpose of His Crucifixion. On the day of Resurrection, we are renewed. We put to death all that leaves us feeling broken and we prepare to be risen in Christ. 

“A broken and a contrite heart, these O God, You will not despise.” Ps 51:17

A Sweet Soothing Aroma

A Sweet Soothing Aroma

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Augustinos Nada


Imagine the worst, ghastly smelling thing you have ever smelt. Many of us will think of fesekeeh, in line with the Easter Monday tradition, or milk that has gone bad, or any kind of food that is left out for too long.

Can you imagine if we can then harness this smell into the sweetest swelling aroma? It doesn’t seem possible, but that is what God does for us. He took the stench of our sin and turned into a sweet-smelling aroma.

In Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, we read of the law of atonement. God spoke to Moses and said that to expel the odour of sin, to offer a burnt sacrifice. Anyone who had sinned would offer up a livestock animal, sheep or bird that was without blemish; a symbol of Christ. This animal was then brought to the door of the temple. The person would confess their sins with their hands on the head of the animal and then they would slaughter it, blood would come forth and this was the form of atonement. The priest would take it to the altar, that would become a sweet soothing aroma to the Lord.

And the priest shall burn it on the altar for a sweet aroma to the Lord. So the priest shall make atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him (Leviticus 4:31).

Throughout these books of the Old Testament, the sweet aroma of the sacrifice is mentioned 25 times. Could you imagine the rot of sin being transferred through repentance into a sweet aroma to the Lord? Imagine the Lord enjoying the smell of aroma. That is the power of our repentance when we return to the Lord. The fowl smelling of sin – pornography, lies, anger, adultery, disputes, cheating, drugs, alcohol, smoking – is all turned into a sweet incense before the Lord in repentance.

Beyond repentance, we see the sweet aroma in one Person, and that is our Lord, Jesus Christ Himself. The Lord sent His sweet aroma to us in His Son. The ultimate sacrifice was His blood on the Cross. He carried our sins in His body to give us atonement as a sweet aroma. No longer do we sacrifice animals because we have the ultimate sacrifice in Christ.  

And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma (Ephesians 5:2).

How can we be the sweet aroma to the Lord? The way we live. If we are Christ-like in our conduct, in righteousness, in honest repentance, we become the sweet aroma to the Lord.

For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. (2 Cor. 2:15)

We are the fragrance of God if we imitate Christ and live in His footsteps. Thursday Eve describes two kinds of aromas. The bad smell in the betrayal of Judas for 30 pieces of silver. This was a symbol of man’s sin and the stench that followed the rot of sin. The second was an aroma of love and repentance from the woman that poured the expensive fragrant oil. The sinner woman who did not say one word but the Lord understood her tears of repentance. She anointed Him and prepared His body for burial (Matthew 26:12).

What we know about expensive fragrances is how strong the smell is, the aroma will stick for days. The sinner woman anointed Jesus so that the aroma was beautiful even unto the Cross. Christ was crucified just before the Passover, at a time when they wanted the bodies taken down quickly for burial. There was no time to prepare the spices and anoint His body, He was quickly rushed to the tomb. He went to the Cross and rose with the same sweet smelling aroma from the sinner woman’s repentance.

What can we offer to the Lord?

Our sins and habits when turned to sincere and honest repentance is the sweetest aroma to our Lord. The Lord will carry this to the Cross. The doors of our church are closed now. The churches will, of course, be open again. But this is an important reminder that one day the heavenly church will be closed. These events are a re-enactment of the Second Coming. He said the doors will be shut and there will be people left outside. We have a glimpse of that feeling now with the churches doors closed. It’s not a good feeling, but imagine being left out of the doors of heaven. One day, the doors of heaven will be closed, but they will not be re-opened. In those days, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:42). They will knock on the doors and Christ will respond, I do not know you (Matthew 7:23).

But today, we have a second chance. Let us offer sincere and honest repentance. Then we will have the beauty of being in the presence of God in His peace. We will have answered prayer, and growth in virtue.

Every Good Friday, we find the most expensive perfumes donated to the church for the icons. Instead of giving this to the church, let us leave it to prepare for the church in our homes. The first homily of Monday morning says, “Every person who was baptised in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit has an angel responsible for him till their death, and to convey and raise their deeds to God.” – St Shenouda the Archimandrite.

The Lord has sent an angel to listen to our prayers and supports us. If the church is the house of angels, and our homes our now the church then what appears to be a family of four is actually a church of eight if we consider the angels, not to mention the saints and the heavenly hosts. This is the beauty of our home churches.

Let us practice finding a sweet aroma to give our home churches as a reminder of the sweet-smelling aroma that the Lord delights in when we repent. Let it be a constant reminder of repentance that turns the rottenness of sin into an aroma.

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Is This the End of the World?

Is this the End of the World?

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily


There are a lot of questions on our minds, especially as we look around and we see what is taking place around the world. A pandemic that has crippled the Globe. We see numerous deaths, churches closed, streets empty, communities in isolation. This raises so many questions. One question that most people will ask, whether Christian or not, religious or not;

Could this be the end of the world?

In Holy Week, we are following our Lord’s actions and teaching. The week begins with Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. He cleanses the Temple and curses the fig tree. There is a gap of time before the betrayal of Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday almost seem like filler days. What is taking place is a significant part of our Lord’s teaching in those two days.

The readings of Wednesday Eve provide a sample of what Christ spoke and taught. The three synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) dedicate a large portion of their gospels to the teaching on these two days. A key theme was the end of all things. The church refers to this as the Eschatology – the study of the last things.

Christ in His final week spoke significantly about the last things. Matthew has 6 chapters dedicated (Matthew 21-26) to the last things; the second coming, the final judgement and heaven and hell. 

We see a glimpse of this in the readings of Wednesday Eve. We read the parable of the wedding, where all were invited but someone came without a wedding garment and they were cast into hell, revealing the theme of heaven and hell (Matthew 22:1-14). It continues, you must be ready, because two people will be in the field, one will be taken, one is left. Two women grinding at the mill, one is taken, one is left (Matthew 24:40-42). Death can occur at any time. We also have the theme of the Second Coming. The Second Coming is like a thief in the night, it can come at any time so we must always be ready (Matthew 24:43). We also have the theme of judgement with the five wise and five foolish virgins, five were taken in while five were excluded (Matthew 25).

Eschatology is widely considered by scholars to be one of the most difficult areas of study. The confusion is typically surrounding the tense that Christ uses – past, present or future. He speaks about the end of things like they are present, here and now. Surely the kingdom of God has come upon you (Matthew 12:28) – as if the kingdom is now here. It is present.

Elsewhere, when asked when the kingdom of God will come, Christ responded, The kingdom of God does not come with observation; 21 nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). We are given the impression that it is all here now.

Then, there is a future tense that Christ also uses. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come forth, separate the wicked from among the just” (Matthew 13:49). Here, the kingdom appears in future tense. In the Lord’s prayer we say, “Your kingdom come,” implying that the Kingdom is not here but is coming. So, is the Kingdom coming, or is it presently within us?

“Assuredly, I say to you, there are some standing here who shall not taste death till they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom” (Matthew 16:28). Another confusion is that it is not present, or future, but will be in their lifetime.

How do we make sense of this all? When Christ speaks of the end of all thing, He speaks of four aspects that are weaved together;

  1. The end of the temple – the destruction of the temple in 70 AD. Jerusalem was destroyed.
  2. The True Temple – meaning Christ, His own death and end on earth.

Both allude to the end of the earth. For Jews, no Temple meant the end of the world. For God, the Creator of the Universe to die, the world cannot go on. But there are two more personal ends.

  1. The end of our own lives at our death
  2. The end of the world

What we see taking place is a paradox where the end is already here, but not yet. The church speaks in that language – the already and the not yet. The end has begun at the death of Christ, the end has begun by the destruction of the temple, the end is happening as people are dying and the end is waiting to be fulfilled at the end of the entire world. With the birth, death and resurrection of Christ, He has inaugurated the end of the world. The end has begun.

If the end has begun, it changes how we view Heaven, Judgment and the Second Coming of Christ. It is no longer part of the unforeseeable future. It is here and now.  It can change the way we see heaven and hell, judgement, our own death and how we live.

If the end has already begun then judgement has begun. I am not waiting to be judged. I begin judging myself now in the presence of Christ. If I begin judging myself now so that when the final judgment day comes, I pass judgement. I begin judging myself now with repentance.

In the last days, there will no judge or jury; just Christ and me. A true repentance overcomes judgement. The end has begun. I stand with Him now to judge myself while I am alive. If the end has begun, then the Second Coming is not in the unknown future, it is here and now. I can prepare myself for the second coming now.

During the Pascha, the church is watching from home. Even five of the seven priests follow on from home. We use this time to prepare for the second coming of Christ. The second coming is unlikely to occur while we are in church. Let us stay out of the church to prepare for that moment. We can prepare ourselves to that extent. The end has begun; it is already here. The first Christians lived in that way; as if the end would happen in their lifetime.

If the end has begun, it changes the way I live my life. It changes my view of heaven. Heaven is no longer a place in the future. The Kingdom is here and now and I can live heaven on earth.  When you go to heaven or hell, what will you see? You won’t see anything distinct. Nothing will be different. It will just be the same as where you are.

“Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.”

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

When we are in heaven, we will look back and realise, we were living heaven all along. Nothing will change. I need to begin my heavenly life here and now, in the already. The age to come will be a continuation. Heaven and the Kingdom is here and now to be realised here and now.

So, is this the end of the world? Yes. It is the end of world. The end of the world began at the death of Christ. We are living judgment, preparing for the second coming and living Heaven on earth. This is our hope.

In the Creed, we end in a joyful tune, “And we look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come, Amen.” It’s joy. This is what it all about. We can’t wait for the resurrection, but we start here and now.

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Repentance and Mercy

Repentance and Mercy

Adapted from a sermon by Aidan Mclachlan


“To fall in love with God is the greatest romance, to seek Him, the greatest adventure to find him. The greatest human achievement”.

St Augustine

The two main events of Thursday Eve are the betrayal by Judas and the anointing of the feet by the spikenard woman. Two remarkably different people who approached the Lord in very different ways.

Each time we read the gospels and come to the calling of the twelve disciples, we come to Judas. He is described as the one “who also betrayed Him”. All too quickly we assume that the sin of Judas was betrayal. But we ask ourselves, did any of the other disciples betray Christ? The answer would be a resounding, yes! St Peter, who denied Christ three times certainly betrayed Him and yet he remained the rock on which Christ builds His church. In fact, we have all sinned and sin is no less than spurning God’s trust and love for us. It is in short, a betrayal. Is there then no hope for us?

I think we find the true sin of Judas not in betrayal but in despair, and from this despair, his failure to repent. But was Judas not repentant? Didn’t he try to return the silver coins? Judas, so absorbed in the world, tried to overcome his crime on his own without seeking God, or His mercy. What he felt most guilty of, was his role in killing Christ and there was no way that he could reverse this and bring Christ from the dead.

But God could. By this time, Judas’ despair overwhelmed him, and his guilt had consumed him. He was nothing but a vessel of wretched misery and anguish. With no hope on Earth, he ended his life and with it, his hope in heaven as well. If only Judas had suffered a little longer. If only he had endured. If only he had waited a few more days for Christ’s glorious resurrection. He failed to see Christ as God, and that He could kill his despair, before it killed him.

Now if we turn to the second key character, the spikenard woman. We find in the Gospel of Matthew and Mark, a story of a woman who was a friend of Jesus. She anoints Christ’s head, not his feet, in the town of Bethany just before His passion. A different story is presented in Luke; a story of a sinner woman who anoints Christ’s feet and dries them with her hair, with no association with Christ’s passion. Most likely, these are two different events. One performed by a sinner woman, and the other by a friend. One clearly an act of repentance and one seemingly an act of affection.

In the Gospel of John, we find Christ at Bethany just before His passion, similar to Matthew and Mark’s gospels. Yet the woman washes Christ’s feet like the sinner woman in Luke’s Gospel. What is the point of seemingly fusing the two stories, and the two women? This is to show the transformative power of repentance. St John keeps the action of a sinner woman in washing His feet, but the timing in the Gospel narrative of the other woman, a friend of Christ. This Indicates that through her repentance, she went from being a sinner woman to being a friend of God.

The Greek word metanoia is commonly understood as repentance but it is so much more than that. It is a change – a transformation! The spikenard woman becomes an example to us for proper penitence, weeping at Christ’s feet, having both her sins and her Lord before her eyes. The spikenard woman is also a revelation of God’s love that though we fail, though we betray Him, though we put nails in His hand, and a spear in His side, He will overcome our weaknesses and transform us to something greater, a friend of His. Finally we can marvel at God’s love and mercy, just as she did. This is true repentance, born from true love, true faith, true hope, and given to the one that is the fulfilment of love, faith and hope.

If we compare the repentance of the spikenard woman to Judas, we find that she had trust in the salvation of the Lord that Judas did not. Unlike Judas’ attempt at repentance, this woman did not aim for a worldly goal. She was rightly criticised by the apostles for not selling that oil and giving the money to the poor, because it made little sense to the world. Yet out of love, she gave up what was likely her most expensive possession. She wept and begged and pleaded for mercy. This is true repentance.

How can we discover this heart felt repentance? With wonder! We can see that God in all this greatness can overcome any obstacle, even despair. With this wonder, we can behold all that God has made and done for us and so grow in love like the spikenard woman. With this wonder, we can honestly say like the apostle, “if God is for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31). How is it that God became Man? How is it that God could suffer? How is it that God could rise again from the dead? How is it that God could make the corruptible incorruptible?

We are blessed not to have logical explanations for many of these questions because if we had them, we may suddenly lose our sense of wonder in favour of something much less marvellous. We discover this wonder from the world around us when we discover that the world is transparent. Through it, we see the beauty and the light of God. The English word cosmetic meaning beauty, comes from the Greek word cosmos, meaning universe. The world becomes an icon of God and we see through it. We cannot be like Judas, who saw the world as an end in itself, because this road leads to despair. We must instead see the world, its beauty and the Lord Almighty in their height of greatness, and not reduced to it.

May we all seek and discover the wonder of the Lord this Holy Week, and for the rest of our days.