Author: ramez

An Unnatural Act: Forgiveness

By Caroline Guirgis

Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?

President Abraham Lincoln

Forgiveness does not forget the past. It blocks the past from contaminating the future. It strengthens our faith to trust God for a better future. It offers a solution to an enduring cycle of anger and hatred. It replaces humanity with divinity. Being created in the image of God we are tasked with reflecting Him to the world. If Jesus Christ forgave the unforgivable, why can’t we?

We are the unforgivable. We are the sinners. We are the ones who sin. “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” If only the Lord’s prayer stopped at “Forgive us our sins.” But it does not end there. We cannot overlook “as” which means “equally” or “since” or “because.” We cannot pray the Lord’s Prayer and not forgive others.

Forgiveness is not natural, and it cannot be done by our own power. We need God’s grace. God never intended for us to forgive others in our humanity, He invites us to enter His realm of infinite grace.

When we forgive others or are forgiven, we are not extending or receiving justice and fairness. We are giving and receiving grace. It is undeserved. None of us deserve to be forgiven but Jesus died for all sinners. And we are all sinners. We did nothing to warrant such love. He did not set conditions, limitations, or exclusions. He even died for that one person you cannot forgive because they hurt you deeply. They offended you, they betrayed you, they humiliated you, and they did the unforgivable to you.

Does that sound familiar? Was not the Lord Jesus Christ treated the same, or perhaps even worse? And yet, He willingly accepted the punishment we deserved. Would we die for that one person who mistreated us? In our humanity, we cannot. It is an unnatural act that requires grace. It costs nothing for the recipient but everything for the giver. God loves us so much, He gave up His all, His Son. Perhaps you would consider laying your life down, but would you give up your child’s life? Would you sacrifice your son for people who reject you? Grace is unfair.

Disgrace is fair and sadly, it is our natural human state. Behind every act of forgiveness lies a painful memory that lingers. But there is a deeper pain, one that keeps us in darkness. We mistakenly think God made forgiveness optional, leaving the decision up to us. When we choose to not forgive, we step into God’s role and deem the person unworthy of forgiveness.

Do you know who else wanted to step into God’s role? Lucifer, one of God’s most beautiful angels, the prince of angels, the bearer of light who became God’s rivalry. When we oppose God, we unite ourselves with the enemy. The suffering of betrayal from a loved one does not compare to the glorious life in heaven we are promised to live with Jesus. The wound we endure in this life hurts but fades in light of eternity. When we truly seek the kingdom of heaven and set our eyes on God, His grace is sufficient. It is the Lord within us that equips us to forgive, love, and extend mercy to others. We must remember the past but to only overcome it. We overpower it by the Blood Of Jesus Christ, the same Blood shed for you and me.

Let us step out in faith, love our enemies, overwhelm them with kindness, and make them our friends. That is the best form of love. Such love was demonstrated for all sinners when God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins. Because of His sacrificial love, and extension of grace upon us, He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell with us. It is by the Spirit that we forgive the unforgivable and love the unlovable. The good news is that we are forgiven and loved by our Lord Jesus Christ. As His image-bearers, let us show the world the merciful, compassionate, and loving God we serve.

Different Personality Types United in the Body of Christ

By Ereeny Mikhail

Have you ever been in a situation and thought to yourself, why a person did a particular thing? Or why a person responded in a certain way? Or why a person made a specific decision? And then proceeded to think to yourself, I would have never done that.

Well, there’s one perfect reason for this – personality. The concept of personalities has been studied for a long time, and it has been found that the most accurate way to classify individuals, based on personality, is the Myer Briggs Test. The Myer Briggs Test is not a test that describes who we are, but rather helps us understand every individual’s natural preference. This means by your nature why you do or don’t do a certain thing. There are 16 categories but of course this does not mean there are only 16 types of people in the world, as personality is not the only thing that makes us who we are. Further to personality, experiences, talents, likes, dislikes, and environment also help us understand who we are.

And this is a great thing – as much as these differences may seem to separate us, they in fact, unite us together. Imagine if we were all created the same. Every situation we respond in the same way. We all have the same dreams. We all have the same flaws. This is something I ponder often in order to give myself a greater understanding into why a scenario played out the way it did. And I come up with the same conclusion every time. We are not robots. We are not all the same. Although someone’s response to a certain scenario may have been different to the way I would have responded, it is actually a good thing because it provides new ideas, opens new doors, and teaches us new things. The world develops and changes because of different personality types uniting.

Let’s think back for a second to the different personalities in the Bible. St Paul was Saul – Saul was aggressive, wasn’t he? Yet, St Paul would not have done the work he did without being Saul. He used this boldness to do mission trips and to preach. He stayed true to who he was but gave it to God. Now let’s compare that to St Mary – she was quiet and gentle and pondered things in her heart. Without being so, she would not have given us The King of Kings.

Contrastingly, St Peter was impulsive, and he transformed his impulsiveness to a passion which brought others to Christ. Again, differently, Mary Magdalene was courageous. Imagine being a woman in those days, waking up in the early morning, walking alone to the tomb, after watching the violence and crucifixion only a few days earlier. It’s scary to even think about. Yet again, without this courage, she would not have been the first to witness the resurrection of Christ.

St Augustine poses a question that may seem confronting, “How can you draw close to God, when you are far from your own self?” And this is true – in all the above scenarios, these individuals were true to themselves and thus, drew closer to God and drew others to God. Therefore, it is essential to fully understand ourselves. St Clement of Alexandria says, “Know yourself. He who knows himself will know God. He who knows God will become like God.” By knowing who we are we learn more about how God communicates with us, we learn more about our strengths and weaknesses and are therefore able to completely fulfil our purpose.

St Isaac the Syrian further contemplates on this and says, “Blessed is the man who knows his own weakness, because this knowledge becomes to him the foundation, root and beginning of all goodness.” Knowing our weaknesses gives us a greater understanding of how to respond to our sins in order to get closer to God. We can turn this weakness into our strength.

Let’s spend some time scratching the surface of the different personalities in the Myer Briggs test. Each personality consists of four letters. The first letter is either an I or an E meaning Introvert or Extrovert, respectively. Ultimately, this is where you go to recharge – whether you prefer quiet environments or loud environments.

The second letter is either an N or an S meaning Intuitive or Observant, respectively. This is how we gather information from the world around us. Intuitive individuals imagine the past and picture the future whereas Observant people assess facts.

The following letter is T or F whereby T means thinking, and F means feeling. Thinking are individuals who view things as either right or wrong whereas feelers view things more emotionally.

Finally, J and P means judging and perceiving, respectively, and is referring to how you get from point A to point B. J individuals are more calculating whereas P individuals are more spontaneous. Of course, there are gradings on each scale meaning no two individuals are the same.

Once we have learnt about ourselves, we cannot deny who we are, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) The more we remove what we currently think we are and let Him take us over, the more true to ourselves we become. So, we should ask God to reveal our heart to us, and once it is revealed, we must accept it. As St Paul says in I Corinthians 15:10, “But by the grace of God, I am what I am…” And do not think that it is better to be any other way. God made you perfect. Not one personality type is perfect – all are perfect created in the body of Christ.

Although, we must recognise there is always work to be done. Our ultimate goal is to be in the likeness of Christ. Thus, handing over who we are to God, then trusting He will do the best with it. However, as with everything, this requires hard work. It is not an excuse to hurt anyone or be lazy. “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (II Corinthians 12:9) We are all masterpieces because God made us, but this does not mean we won’t have imperfections. The Holy Spirit works in each personality type to attract different people and to have services of all kinds. We must glorify God in our uniqueness.

Let us pray like St Augustine, “Lord Jesus, let me know myself…”

He Will Grant Your Heart’s Desire

Translated from a sermon by Fr Louka Sidarous

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

2 Cor. 9:7

The key to a person’s life is found in the heart. If each and every one us opens up our hearts, we shall receive. If your intention is to receive a blessing, then you will receive a blessing. If you touch the door of the church and someone says to you, “What are you doing?”

You reply, “to receive a blessing.”

Are you really taking a blessing? Is that what your heart is searching for?

If you intend to receive a blessing, you will receive it.

The lady with the uncontrollable flow of blood that touched the hem of Christ’s garment truly wanted a blessing from the depth of her heart. In all the crowds, she just wanted to touch His garments to receive a blessing. When she reached out, she was healed immediately. Her intention came from the heart.

A lot of people go in circles, searching for blessing, when the key has been in their heart all along.

May God grant you according to your heart’s desire. If I think there is blessing from the door of the church, then when I enter, I will receive blessing from the door of the church. If my heart is leaning elsewhere, then there is no blessing.

Many times we receive Holy Communion and we feel nothing. This is because our heart is elsewhere. The intention and direction of the heart is elsewhere. How many times have we thanked God for the gift of baptism and the New Man within us? Sometimes we take no notice.

I beg you, always be thankful for the great blessing that is in our health and our new beginnings. This is not a temporal seed, but an eternal seed that does not fade away. Our body is the temporal seed but the spirit within us is the eternal seed.

This is such a big blessing, but the only thing missing is that we comprehend and give thanks for it. The New Man becomes our state of being. I wonder what I look like on the inside. Am I reflection of Christ? What are my attributes? That is my inner man.

The inner man should be full of love, enough love to love even my enemies. Did Christ give us the command to love out of nothing? Or did He not actively preach it to every creature,

When He says, “love your enemies,”

We respond, “how can this be?”

To which He explains, “I will make you like new. I will make you a new creation. I will give you a new heart. Then you will be able to love others the way I do.”

The same love of Christ can reside in us. So what do we look like on the inside? After I have received the blessing of baptism and the new man, do I start to emulate Christ?

I describe Christ as meek, do I have a heart that is meek? If I am born of Christ, do I have the meekness of Christ within me? When I think that Christ is patient with sinners, do I have the same forgiveness in my heart? My behaviour should be a reflection of Christ. The image of Christ is imprinted in my heart from the day I was born. In turn, He is an image of Father – the first born of all creation.

To me, Christ is the image of the beginning. We are born in the image of Christ who was from the beginning. We are born with attributes to do good things. The result of the body is death but the soul remains eternal.

Sit with yourself often so that you have time to contemplate on His goodness and realise the blessing before you. During this time, we also prepare ourselves for service.

Can’t I live like the rest of the world? No. When we are baptised in the faith, we hand our lives over to the One that prepares our soul for eternal life. The only way we can hand our lives to God is through regular repentance and preparation for the desires of the heart. For what does the heart desire more than the One that can satisfy the soul? This is the true desire of the heart. May we never allow our hearts to be deceived by any other worldly desire, and glory to His Name, Amen.

Before We Shatter

By Bethany Kaldas

‘Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; ¹⁴ whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.’

James 4:13-14

This year especially, I think we’ve all been reawakened to the unwelcome realisation that life is fragile. I’m sure I’m not the only one who knows someone who lost a friend or family member during this time, or at the very least felt the fear of losing someone you loved as they succumbed to illness or injury. You may even have experienced this yourself.

Our lives are delicate things—glass contraptions that rely on so much going right to function properly. Not only physically, but how we live our lives is subject to dramatic changes that are quite outside our sphere of control. What once were thought to be stable structures in our lives—simple things we never even really thought about previously—broke down into chaos and uncertainty. Suddenly, and quite unhappily, the familiar was shattered and we were left with broken pieces and no clue how to stick them back together again.

These last couple of years of plague and lockdown may have felt alien to us when they hit, but uncertainty has always been something that underlies our lives. Every time you’ve driven to work, you could’ve crashed. Every time you’ve slept in your bed, you could’ve been robbed. Every time you ate, it could’ve been infected. And even apart from all these external factors, you can never be sure there isn’t some nasty factor lying dormant in your genes or in your cells to take you out without warning.

Life is fragile, and the end is not always heralded by trumpets. So what do we do in the face of this uncertainty, the realisation that we have far less control over our own destinies than we may have thought? What do we do when we realise that our lives are made of glass?

‘Don’t give your heart over to grief; stay away from it, remembering your own end.’

Wisdom of Sirach 38:20

These moments of realisation are not the time to be crippled by fear or sorrow. They are calls to action. Calls to live as best we can with what we are given. And living as best you can means to try your hardest to be the person God made you to be—to instil virtue in your heart and remove sin from your soul—but it also means focusing on what matters, and letting go of what doesn’t.

Do not give your heart to grief, says the son of Sirach. That does not mean we don’t engage with grief at all. Loss is real, it must be dealt with. Prior to this verse, he also says that you should grieve for the appropriate amount of time—and this may be a long time indeed.

‘I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.’

C. S. Lewis, ‘A Grief Observed’

The pain may never fully go away. But you can’t let it consume your life. Express your grief, your anger, your bitterness—but don’t become them. Life is too short for that. Use your loss as a reminder that everyone has an end and the time you have now is precious.

We are constantly waiting to be less busy to do the things that matter. But that time may never come. Don’t wait to do the things that are important. Don’t wait to do the things that make you happy. Don’t wait to see old friends you haven’t spent time with in ages. Don’t wait to spend time with your family. Don’t wait to see the places you’ve always wanted to. Don’t wait to forgive. Don’t wait to make amends, or say the words that have gone unspoken for far too long already. And don’t wait to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you, how beautiful they are.

A dear friend of mine once told me of a saying she heard: ‘Give your friends their flowers while they’re here’. You don’t have to wait for a birthday, wedding or eulogy to tell someone they are loved. You may not get the chance. Everyone has their end. Including you. Including them.

‘See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, ¹⁶ redeeming the time, because the days are evil.’

Ephesians 5:15-16

Our lives may be glass—we could shatter tomorrow. But if you let His light shine through today, the beauty that comes could last an eternity.  It is only here and now that we can start to become what we are meant to be forever—and see that wonder in those around us. The time to do and say what matters is now. You may not get a tomorrow. Today is your chance.

‘He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time, which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.’

C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

When Every Door Seems Closed

Translated from a sermon by Fr Daoud Lamei

Frequently I get messages from a lot of people with the same problem. People that feel like they have reached a dead end. People that feel like there is no way out. People that feel like they have been crying out to God for years and years and He just won’t listen.

Where is God? Why hasn’t my problem been solved? My hope is lost. I can’t see the light at the end of tunnel. What did I do wrong? I wouldn’t mind if He told me my mistake, just as long as I can fix it.

Sometimes, we truly feel that the door is completely shut. This is a difficult feeling to overcome. We lock ourselves up in an internal prison of anxiety and fear. We become easily agitated and feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Most of the time it is because we are waiting for a specific answer from God. We beg for relief, but we find nothing. I pray that He helps me to forget my problem, yet it remains. I pray for what I desire, and I hear nothing in return. I pray something different, and still no answer. I become fed up, I have had enough, and still, no answer.

A lot of times, I am not even encouraged by others. I tell them my problems and they respond perplexed and say, “what’s wrong with you? Everyone is living the same as you.”

On the outside, there is no more struggle visible than the usual, but the battle lies within. The inner may be full of despair but outwardly, people’s problems appear similar. No one can find good help, no one can get married, no one can find a good job, you hear this and suddenly, you have no right to complain about your own problems. Naturally, you can’t complain because of those that may look down on you like you have some kind of heightened sense of self worse. Others can make you feel like you are the one that is compounding your own problems.

Here is an opportunity to bring yourself back down to earth. The most difficult thing in the spiritual life is the ego. When my thoughts are centred around me and my needs. The ego presents a huge hurdle that we cannot jump over easily. If money is a problem this can be easily overcome in comparison. Even lust seems like an easy hurdle compared to the ego. The ego is our most difficult hurdle.

When we see a door close before us, the first thing that this will trigger is our ego. For any self-confidence, any pride, any cause for boasting, this is all destroyed by the door that is shut in our face. We become grounded once more, and the ego breaks. At this point, we have an opportunity to attain the first blessing we forgot would gain us the Kingdom; blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

The one that is poor in Spirit is the one that goes to God, completely void of self, a beggar before their Master, the lowest person in the world. We all pray, but the number of times we pray and we cry from the depth of our hearts, we could count on one hand. Our prayers during these times most likely came from a door that was shut before us.

When you feel like your hands are tied, or a problem that seems like there is no solution, the only thing you can do is beg and cry for help – to cry for help like Jonah from the belly of the whale when there was nowhere to escape.

This is what God wants – for these are the prayers that will change our hearts and minds. When you get to the point where you cry out from the depth of your heart. God wants this part of our hearts. Every night we pray – Out of depths I have cried to You, O’Lord! Hear my prayers (Ps 130:1; Twelfth hour Agpia prayers)

What depths are we attaining on a nightly basis? On most nights, this doesn’t even come from the depth of our mouths! What is there for God to hear, when there is barely a sound coming from your mouth, let alone a yearning cry. We say words, but our hears are elsewhere.

Christ appeared from the shut doors. He didn’t open the doors. We must remember this when we pray. He appears suddenly and asks, “can you tell Me why you’re upset? What is on your mind?”

When you start thinking about why you’re upset, you think that you’re being silly. You think to yourself, “why am I being like this? God loves me and heaven is waiting for me. The Holy Spirit is in me. I have been forgiven. Why am I being like this? Every solution has a problem. The promises have never let me down. The doors weren’t shut before, but I was the one that shut the doors.”

When you see Christ standing before you, smiling brightly saying, “Peace be with you.” He means wake up. The situation is simple. After every closed comes an open door. Sometimes we think that the door is closed forever, but a more glorious door opens out of nowhere.

The door was closed before David for almost fifteen years, he was a fugitive, treated like a wild animal in the wilderness. When the doors opened, he became the greatest king in the history of Israel. He was likened to Christ and is known forever as the grandfather from whose lineage Christ came.

Jonah thought the end was near for him when he cried out from the belly of the whale, but not only was he saved from the belly of the whale but a whole city received salvation.

The doors that are shut must eventually open. The stories we read from the Bible are the same stories that we live. There is no problem that does not have a solution. There is no crisis that will not end. There is no pain without relief. There is no death without resurrection. There are no other options – a door must open.

When you remember the tough times, the times of struggle, the times when you thought you had no way out, you find that this is the path to big rewards that were unconceived in your mind before. These were the days that taught you patience. These were the days that taught you how to pray. These were the times that you were granted wisdom and learnt the meaning of Love for God and your neighbours.

A Firm Faith

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Jonathan Ishak

Luke 7:36-50

When the sinner woman looked upon Jesus, she saw Him with clarity. She saw God, while others saw another guest in a home. She was the only one that saw Him among the entire household of supposedly righteous people. Even Simon the Pharisee saw Him as a prophet alone. He questioned if He could even be a prophet if He allowed her to touch His feet.

The Lord concludes this interaction, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Luke 7:50). She recognised and saw Him in the right way. No young lady would untie her hair and use it to clean anything, let alone someone else’s feet. A young lady’s hair is one of her most beautiful attributes, but when she look upon Christ and saw God, she sacrificed even this.

When we look to Christ, do we see God? Do we act upon our faith in the right way? Is our faith similar to that of the sinner woman? We may have reasons to have more faith than her, but she proved herself faithful above most. Maybe even the disciples that witnessed this interaction questioned if Christ was God.

This lady saw Christ as God, and left with more than she was looking for, for all her sins were forgiven on that day. How beautiful her faith was on that day. Do we have faith like this?

Just the other day, a man was called into his boss’ office. As he entered, he was expecting big problems. He was tired after a long day’s work and was not prepared for what he walked in to. His boss was furious and accused him of wrongdoing. The man sat in front of the boss while he was yelling. Not knowing what else to do, he was praying and asking for the intercessions of St Mary and St George. The boss began to notice that he was not concentrating and so he said, “Why aren’t you listening to me? I am trying to tell you about the problems that happened last Sunday!”

The man stopped him at this and said, “but I don’t work Sundays and I haven’t worked on a Sunday for many years.”

The boss, realising his mistake, became extremely apologetic and when he saw he looked into this man’s record, he saw someone that was efficient and competent at their work. We keep in mind that there is always a Boss higher than will save us from the troubles of the world. Do we turn to God in our problems? Or do we turn to our own logic or the help of other people? We cry out to the Lord is our needs to save us from all tribulation, and He will save us in ways we never thought possible.

Another story happened in the life of Fr Mikhail Ebrahim who was the confession father of many, including Pope Shenouda III. After his departure, Pope Shenouda wrote about Fr Mikhail that he believed in the words of the Bible as his source of knowledge and comfort. Before he was a priest, he would follow the words of the Bible without question. He was working for the government before priesthood. On one occasion, he gave his suit to be dry cleaned and came to pick it up and the man said it was stolen.

Fr Mikhail asked him, “but did you iron it before it was stolen?”

The man said, “What difference does it make?”

“If you ironed the suit then I must pay you for your work, as it says, “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.” (Romans 13:7).

Do we see God and the Bible in this same way?

Many years ago, a certain doctor’s father was undergoing an operation. He asked for the keys of the church so he could spend this time in prayer. While his whole family was at the hospital, he wanted to pray. A doctor could easily speak to the doctors and nurses of the hospital to find out what is happening during surgery. He chose the higher path, to trust in God that guides the hands of the doctor. Instead of using all the knowledge he knows, he left this behind and trusted in God.

How can we attain this faith?

We can attach ourselves to the Lord. Do not allow the 24 hours of the day to pass without giving the Lord a fair portion of these hours. One hour at the end of day at the very least. Allow yourself to have a retreat with the Lord on a daily basis. How did the sinner woman know the Lord? Maybe she didn’t say anything, but it is likely that she followed Him, she saw His miracles, she attached herself to Him.

Request renewed strength of faith from the Lord. In the liturgy we pray, “give us Your peace till the end.”

We need a repentance heart. Make a U-turn every time you see yourself heading toward sin. Immediately return when you see yourself heading down the wrong path. Don’t allow yourself to go down the path of sin, but turn around, at any point, know that your repentance is still acceptable to our Lord. Glory be to our Lord forever, Amen.

A Thief in the Night

Translated from a sermon by Fr Boulos George

Life is the greatest sermon. If I cannot learn the lesson of sin leading to death, I will not be affected by any sermon given throughout the whole world. If I cannot understand a teaching about death, no other sermon will make sense to me. For the lesson of death during our own lives teaches us that so many people had power, so many people had voices that were heard. We hear of people that were among the richest in this life, but where are they now? Who is their king? Where is there power? Where did the man go whose voice was heard in all his authority?

Learn from this lesson of life. Some people went to work and never came home. One person had a pain in his shoulder and wasn’t quick enough. Learn from this even. The first lesson I learnt is that I observe the events of life that happen around me. I learn from others’ lives and I learn from my own personal experience.

I learn from the simple and poor family that radiates joyous laughter from within. I learn that people might have three or four households, and still force a smile. Learn from these. Learn from the sermon of life.

We all know and we all preach to others that if someone loses money, we tell them that money isn’t everything. Money is not the source of joy. Joy obviously comes from within, and if they knew this, they would not be upset by the loss of money. Little do they know that in my own heart, I get saddened if I don’t have money. I don’t practice what I preach. If I want to get ahead, I need to take my own advice before I start preaching to others. We don’t need to wait for someone to say to us, “But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night” (2 Peter 3:10).

This verse should be my own personal daily reminder, and not something that comes as a shock. I must learn to preach to myself before I attempt to preach to anyone around me. So many people will say that a certain person was with us all day, laughing, joking, and later they were taken away. It is morbid and we don’t like to talk about it, but this is reality. Nothing in this life is for certain, but we look to the One who is above certainty.

I learn to chastise and hold myself accountable for my own actions. If I know I have a problem with anger, then I must learn to be accountable to myself. I say to myself, “When? When am I going to change?” Repent and pray for change, for the time is now.

How long will I have the disease of expecting the worst in those around me? How long will I have the disease of being unable to trust those around me? How long will I get so defensive and unable to learn from my previous mistakes? How long will my judgement of those around me be flawed? I need to learn from these mistakes.

The Bible tell us that we don’t need to preach to anyone, but we preach to ourselves, from what we have seen and experienced.

The first step is to learn from the events of life, and then to learn to be accountable. There is another way the church teaches us to chastise and be accountable for our own thoughts and action. The prayers of the Agpia teach us. These are greater than any sermon we can preach to anyone else.

What does it mean to pray the Agpia as a means of chastisement? We pray, “Behold, I am about to stand before the just judge in fear because of my numerous sins for the life spent in pleasures deserves condemnation. Repent therefore, O my soul…” (twelfth hour litany).

Here we learn to chastise ourselves. If the faithful must strive to be saved, what must I do as a sinner to be saved? When we pray that in death no one remembers, this is the Apgia teaching us. “Rise up from your laziness and implore the Saviour in repentance.”

Through the Apgia, we teach ourselves the means of accountability. We teach ourselves to be ready and to chastise ourselves. For in the final hours, it is I who will stand before the Just Judge, and give account for the life I lived. We must live like each day could be our last, and this is the path to internal joy day by day.