Author: ramez

Faithfulness

Faithfulness

by Meray Shehata

Yesterday I walked on water, but today I held Peter’s hand as we both started to drown.

Yesterday I slaughtered the lion, but today I cowered next to Samson as we betrayed You.

Yesterday I watched as Goliath fell, but today nothing could have prepared me for how low I was willing to sink for worldly things.

Yesterday I stood solemnly in my place not willing to budge as You threw blow after blow at me, but today I denied You to lessen my own pain.

Yesterday I wiped Your face with my veil, but today I stabbed You with my spear.

Lord, why do I sometimes accept You when you give me riches but discard You when I have plenty, only to cry out again when the riches have drowned me? I’ve grown to expect the world at my feet but when I have achieved the impossible I lose sight of You in all my success. I declared with all Your people to have brought myselfout of Egypt and then, as if to boost my own ego, I built a golden calf to praise.

“O you of little faith, why did you doubt? (Matt. 14:31)

I have no reason to doubt, I sat with Job as I lost everything but I was also there when my riches all multiplied. Our lungs filled up with water as we drowned but I was there when you took our hand and pulled us out of the water. They cut my hair and reduced me to not even a third of the man I was but You gave me strength to abolish their temple. I killed a man but my name is remembered honourably until now.

What is this faith that people speak so highly of?

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Heb 11:1).

It’s a concept so beautiful, yet so hard to attain. Although I can provide one million reasons for you to have faith, it’s still a constant battle. When tribulation comes knocking, doubt follows soon after. Sadly, doubt doesn’t like announcing itself as it enters your mind.  This uncertainty is much more sly and tends to build up over time, masked by stress or anxiety. Sometimes losing faith is not as simple or clear cut as discontinuing your belief in God but rather a growing distance between God and yourself, when all your mind really yearns for is His embrace. Oftentimes, it seems that the answer is so far away from the truth. If only you get a bit of fresh air, a change of scenery, watch a movie? Then you’ll feel better. Of course, that may work short term as it does for me, but frequently I find myself right where I started if not worse, until I seek Him again.

I tend to see Job as a pillar of faith. How does one man stand to watch everything but his life waste away yet return and pray, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”(Job 1:21). God knew the depth of his faith and when Job hesitated even for a second, God responded in a whirlwind saying, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding.”(Job 38:4).

Although our tribulations sometimes are not as clear as it was for those who came before us and Christ may not appear to pull you out of the water, there is only one solution. Faith. If you knew the plans He had for you, you would stick by Him through it all, but if a faith is never tested, where would it come from? If we are aiming to be filled with virtue and have faith like Job, we need to remember this always. Ask yourself, where were you when He engraved you on the palm of His Hand? Where were you when He made you fearfully and wonderfully in His image? God doesn’t just have a plan for your life, He has the greatest plan. Do not walk begrudgingly through trials and do not assume you’re doing Him a favour when you turn to Him as times get tough.

Remember Job, remember Joseph, remember Moses, remember Esther, remember Abraham and all the characters throughout the Bible and the history of our church. God’s love is magnificent and if you allow Him, He will work in you as He worked in them. Praise Him through the storm and you will not only receive blessings of grace, but your faith will be refined. “Man plans his path, but God direct his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9). Let Him be your guidance. When all we want is to stand on our own two feet, God is placing obstacles along the way to make us soar like eagles.

 

Goodness

Goodness

by Samira Hannaniah

The word “good” will be uttered by an individual hundreds to thousands of times in one whole day, either to express how they feel, describe how a sandwich tastes or even to encourage others on the quality of their work. The word “good” can be used in countless different contexts and reflect a vast variety of meanings. Does the extensive array of meanings to this word change if we add four letters? Is the word “goodness” so different to its derivative, “good”?

As the word “good” can be quite diverse in its connotations, “goodness” is extremely specific and stylized. It comes from the Greek word “agathosune” which means “uprightness of heart and life.” We know “goodness” as one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, but the question remains of what goodness entails on our part, and the relationship between goodness and God.

“God is good”

“All the time”

“And all the time…”

“God is good”

This famous call and response between clergy and congregation resonates between all denominations, all cultures and all Christians. And yet, sometimes we struggle to fathom the entirety of God’s goodness. According to HH Pope Shenouda III, the virtue of goodness is an “increase of tenderness, gentleness, meekness and kindness which is distant from harshness and cruelty”. It is an outwardly act, preserved for the benefit of others, seeking only to uplift and better those around. Romans 2:4 elicits the ultimate act of God’s goodness- “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

It is through God’s goodness that we are prompted to repentance. It is through God’s goodness, that we are afforded another chance to return to Him. And it is also through God’s goodness that He persists with us. His Holiness further explains God’s goodness through His persistence for our salvation: – “He does not just forgive the sinner, but goes after the sinner in order to come back to Him, even if he did not want to”.

Why did the father of the Prodigal son celebrate his return and clothe him with the best robe, a ring and sandals? Why did Jesus dine with Zacchaeus the tax collector despite all his evil and injustice? Why did Jesus reveal Himself to the Samaritan woman on account of her honesty with respect to her past? Goodness. It was God’s goodness that reinvigorated a repentant heart within these individuals and several others throughout history.  Goodness has the ability to transform the heart and render it vulnerable to God’s love, promoting an inner desire to come back to Him.

Now the only question that remains: – what effect does Goodness have in your life?

Long Suffering

Long Suffering

by Demiana Salib

The fire you threaten me with cannot go on burning for very long; after a while it goes out. But what you are unaware of are the flames of future judgement and everlasting torment which in store for the ungodly. Why do you go on wasting time? Bring out whatever you have a mind to.

These are the words of Polycarp of Smyrna as he faced his martyrdom. In the written account of the Martyrdom of Polycarp, Polycarp is questioned several times by the Governor and is eventually put to death because he would only reaffirm his faith all the more strongly upon further questioning. The Governor had no real intention of killing Polycarp. Polycarp was a frail, old man that could do no harm – who would want to be responsible for his death? It was a case of “pick on someone your own size.” Despite his frail appearance, the height of his virtue however, moved the hearts of the crowd of unbelievers of which, went on to become Christian.

Although martyrdom does not exist in our world, what does remain is the history of martyrs and those that continue to be martyred in our home country, Egypt. We share in their struggles through prayer. We share in their struggles by elevating their suffering above our own. We share in their struggles by looking upon our own lives and finding reasons to be thankful that far out way our complaints. The very reason we can complain in this day and age is because God has already blessed us to the extent that we have created expectations of Him, but in reality, He doesn’t owe us anything. We, that complain, have been blessed with grace beyond measure. If we fail to recognise these gifts of grace, we fail to acquire patience.

It is much easier to tell God what we think is best, that our ways are higher than His. This present moment that leaves you questioning how your circumstances could be for your benefit is the very feeling that God is using to turn your impatience into patience. We pressure Him in prayer, we treat Him like He is doing His job all wrong. We create a very simple formula. I pray, He answers, I live happily ever after. But there’s so more that we don’t see. Out of His love for us, He carries us, kicking and screaming, because we can only see two steps ahead of us when He sees the whole picture.

We may pray every day so that whatever struggles we are going through, God takes care of. But do we pray in order to brainstorm for God possible solutions to end all our problems? If only He could see how simple the solution really is, He would’ve acted by now. The term, “long suffering” is used interchangeably with “patience.” Yes, you may be suffering, and this may cause you to think that this is the path to acquiring virtue, but if you are not patiently enduring, you are depriving yourself of virtues. God is perfect; we are not. Therefore, we do not test God’s faithfulness; He tests us. In prayer, we do not pray to alert God to our problems; we pray so that we may hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering so that we always remember that He who promised is faithful and will deliver us from all our troubles (Hebrews 10:23).

St Paul had out he called a thorn in his side. A hinderance to his service. But God had other plans. God used his infirmity to teach him the gift of long suffering. While the exact cause of his infirmity is unknown, it is speculated that St Paul was prone to seizures. He prayed relentlessly for the healing of his infirmity, yet was not healed. If speculation of seizures was correct, this is likely to have been both debilitating and humiliating for St Paul. In a time where Christianity was despised and looked down upon, St Paul was also risking his own self-worth for the sake of Gospel, should his infirmity come to light while preaching. Would he choose to wallow in self pity or would he humbly accept his infirmity, look past its potential hindrance and preach the Gospel?

Through the thorn in his side, St Paul became a true example of patience acquired through long suffering. He didn’t know when his infirmity would become a hindrance to his service; all he knew was that he had the message of salvation that needed to be shared, so he took a step, and God blessed it. He recounts the peace that followed when he selflessly chose service over his own self doubt. He says,  “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2. Cor. 12:9-10). It was never God’s intention to hinder Paul’s service, but strengthen him beyond what he thought was attainable. By recognising and giving his infirmities to God, he emptied himself and allowed God to strengthen and fulfil his ministry in a way that is far beyond our understanding of Love.

Patiently endure your tribulations, as difficult as it may sound, especially at first. Learn from every lesson that presents itself as tribulation in your life. Look at the struggles of those around you and see them as greater than your own. Then even your greatest struggles will seem small to the one that elevates those around them. Allow Him to turn your impatience into patience. Your earthly being into a heavenly being of virtue.

“And the more you withdraw yourself from all solace of creatures, so much the sweeter and more powerful consolation shall you find in Me.” – Thomas Kempis

Joy

Joy

by Shery Abdelmalak

A heart full of love and servitude for God’s children can only emulate joy. Think of events that have made you feel joyful. Do you think of adventure, travel, fun? Is it things that make you happy; the temporal kind? For Saint Mary, it was the news, that at the age of twelve, she would conceive a child. Not just any child but the Son of God. She responded saying, “My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour.” (Luke 1:46-47)

Her faith was being put to the ultimate test. God had big plans and Saint Mary was about to play a major role in the salvation of all mankind. But what twelve year old girl would think of mankind when her whole life was about to flipped upside down? To say that this should be a time of confusion and discomfort would just be scrapping the surface.

Fr Dawood Lamey outlines joy very simply; Joy comes when you prioritise:

  • Jesus
  • Others
  • Yourself

Saint Mary accepted God’s will, with no thought given to how His plans will impact her life personally. When the angel, Gabriel tells her that Elizabeth is also pregnant, her immediate thought is to help her cousin in her time of need. At no point did Saint Mary stop to think of herself. Her joy in this situation is beyond admirable. Had she stopped to think of herself, the course of history may have taken a very different turn.

When we take Saint Mary as an exemplar of joy and attempt to mould this into our own lives, we may see a very different pattern. We can often misrepresent joy for happiness. Happiness generally comes from a pursuit of one’s own will, pleasures and desires, whereas, joy is the complete opposite. One’s own desires are put on hold for the service of others. This is not to say that happiness is a negative. All in moderation. A major risk of happiness arises when it is used as an indication of spiritual health. Joy is the true indication of spiritual health. To be content and at peace throughout tribulation comes from having joy, that exceeds far beyond happiness.

The main difference between happiness and joy are their sources. Happiness originates from external influences of the world whereas joy is internal. Saint Jerome describes this difference saying, “By joy people mean an elation of mind over things that are worthy of exultation, whereas gaiety is an undisciplined elation of mind which knows no moderation.” When going through hardship, you may choose to ignore the situation. You may think that you are okay because you’re happy. If you can’t come to God at the end of day, on your knees and have an honest conservation with Him in prayer, of what spiritual benefit will that tribulation bring you?

You may be happy externally yet still filled with grief and sorrow, the fruits that oppose joy. St James says that, “he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:6). The appeal of happiness is in its momentary pleasure but you put yourself in a cycle of an endless pursuit of satisfaction from an inconsistent world that will ultimately lead to much greater pain. There is nothing like the joy of having a clear conscience that has claimed victory over worldly lusts. There is also no difficulty quite like pursuing joy when you feel you have been given every reason to abandon God and His promises. Joy is not the result of “fun,” joy comes in times of chaos when all you know for sure is that God is holding you in the palm of His Hand.

So how can we find joy in tribulation?

To be thankful for all, even the seemingly insignificant. From the moment you wake up, you are already given more than enough reason to be thankful. Find thankfulness behind every complaint. The very reason we can complain so much is because God has already blessed us to the extent that we have created expectations of Him. How great His love is and for that alone, we are thankful.

To repent honestly without any ill-feelings toward others. To end every day in self-reflection of your own actions and how you can become more Christ-like brings joy, both in times of blessing and in times of tribulation. As Saint Ambrose says, “That man sins is no cause for surprise. What is blameworthy is his failure to acknowledge his error and humble himself before God.” When we humble ourselves before God, we allow Him to take away our human nature and replace it with the heavenly. Repentance is a tool that allows us to recognise our position before God so that self-awareness comes as a reflection of what God can make you and me.

To beg for His mercy so that He becomes our source of joy and spiritual nourishment in every storm. The joy of the heart cannot be taken away by the cares of this world, or the opinions of others, or the sin of despair. Stay in good company in sanctification from the world and He will provide for you.

When you feel God has blessed you, when life is going well, pursue joy most so that His blessings are not forgotten during tribulation. When blessings cause happiness and an elevation of the ego instead of a heart that gives God the glory, happiness quickly fades. Feeling joyful during times of blessing is good but how much more admirable is a person who is joyful during tribulation? A heart filled with joy is content during all external circumstances, the good and the bad, and is thankful through it all.

Love

Love

by Steven Attallla

I would like to start off with a question. How do you define love? Before you continue reading, take a few moments to really think about it.

The word ‘love’ is used so much in the world and it is generally linked with some sort of worldly or materialistic act. For example, Valentine’s Day. A day where partners spoil each other with expensive dinners and gifts and we as a society have accepted this as a form of love. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that but as Christians, we are taught a much deeper form of love – a type of love that we struggle to express.

When I was in Sunday School, our servant used to ask the class questions about the lesson and the first question that would always get asked was,”What did you learn from today’s lesson?” Ofcourse, that was a tactic used to see who was really listening and paying attention. So the emergency answer that was commonly used (and was known to never be the wrong answer) was, “God is love”. We’ve said it a million times and we’ve heard about it a billion times, but have we ever dwelt on these three short words?

1 Corinthians Chapter 13 is the most well-known passage about love (If you’ve never read it, I suggest you stop here and have a read of it). The last verse of that passage is ‘and now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love’ (1 Corinthians 13:13). We learn here that love trumps all. That love overpowers all other characteristics. Why though? Why is love so powerful? The answer to that is the same answer that was used in all emergency sunday school situations – Godislove. The purest form of love is nonexistent if God does not exist in your life. God simply is love. He is the essence of love. You cannot understand love without being exposed to God.

There is something quite remarkable about the concept of love. When we are loved, it feels as though our hearts are receiving a massive hug. We feel warm and safe around those that portray a genuine love. This is the feeling that God radiates. When we are in His Fatherly embrace, we are presented with this ultimate gift. I always wondered what it would feel like being around Christ when He was on the Earth. I envy the multitudes that would surround him on a daily basis because they received the greatest experience of witnessing the finest and most purest form of love. Imagine, just sitting there, on the mountain where Christ gave the sermon. Imagine looking up and admiring the Creator of life. The true essence of Love. It has always been something I wished I had experienced.

We always associate love with the heart and many times in the bible we read about how important it is to look after your heart – “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). So if love belongs in the heart and God is Love, then it is very clear as to where God belongs. Our hearts should be considered as a palace for our King. Now ask yourself, is your palace made up of a strong structure or is it in ruins? We are called to reflect the image of God. The image of Love. If our hearts are not embedded with the essence of God then we won’t have the capacity to reflect His love. We must first draw to Him in order to be like Him. When you draw closer to fire, you become warm. The heat attaches itself onto you and shares with you its warmth. Similarly, when you draw near to the source of love, it will attach to you and reflect upon your personality.

Love is powerful and it can cause dramatic changes in a person’s life. Through His love, people began to follow Him. Through His love, Zacchaeus flipped his lifestyle. Through His love, the right hand thief repented. Through His love, He died for me and defeated death. Here is a scenario that I would like you to imagine. When Christ died on the Cross, He descended into Hades. Abraham, Issac, Job, Jeremiah and all the Old Testament greats were residing in Hades until this moment. Can you imagine what they would’ve felt when they saw Christ enter Hades to take them out? They would’ve felt this whirlwind of comfort surround them. They would’ve felt so safe and full of joy to see their Saviour. This feeling is quite similar to how we feel when someone loves us at our very lowest. It’s like for a split moment, we forget what has been hurting us. That is the power of love and that is why we need to exercise it more often for through love, we are able to change circumstances. We are able to bring a light to someone’s darkness. We are able to bring hope to those who feel hopeless. We are able to bring comfort to those who are feeling afraid.

If we all loved, the world would be in a much greater state. But because the world rejects God, it rejects love. When love is absent, hatred fills the void. I urge every one of us to start a relationship with God. If your heart is in ruins, start the construction. Get to know God and let Him help you build a wonderful palace so that He could reside in you. Once He is in your heart, you will become one with Him; you will become one with Love.

“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16)

Glory be to His name forever, Amen.

Set Yourself Apart

Set Yourself Apart

by Catherine Gerges

What is faith?

Faith is defined as a complete trust or confidence in someone or something or, strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof. Based on these definitions we can look at faith in a faithless society from two different perspectives.

The first definition of faith can be applied in a “worldly context”. In a world where the media portrays betrayal, jealousy, coveting and all the other evils present in the world we cannot blame society for lacking faith. How can we have trust and confidence in people in general when all we see is the evil in them. Evil is magnified in this world, the good is supressed and as such it can be easy be completely pessimistic in our dealings. To have faith in a faithless society something about us must be different. When everyone is going one way an individual must choose a different path. We must choose to see the good, look for it, seek it out. Instead of stalking models on social media, stalk a spiritual page, instead of watching the dramatized news outlets portray the happenings of the day choose the more reliable, make your own opinions, see the other sides of the story. Instead of gossiping about someone, ask them, speak to them, support them. Instead of seeing the glass as half empty, see it as half full. The way we have faith is by looking for the good, believing in the good despite all the evil. In a faithless world this is not easy but that is why it is called a leap of faith, if it were easy, we would call it a step.

The second perspective, and probably the more relevant for us as Christians, is the religious perspective. The definition above states belief based on spiritual conviction rather than proof; that is believing without seeing. In an overly educated and logical world it can be easy to be bogged down in proof equals fact, but proof comes in different forms. The world tells us we must see to believe, science says if it is not supported by evidence it cannot be a fact, but we must not be ignorant for Christianity does have proof beyond the confides of spiritual convictions. Historians noted the life of Jesus, the Bible correlates with history, this is proof in and of itself. Furthermore, a person’s relationship with God, the peace and comfort we receive when we are in distress and call out to him, although not a physical form of proof, supports our beliefs. The world wants hard facts in order to believe in something, but this is foolish in and of itself. I remember hearing a quote someone said: they asked the listener do you believe in the wind, the listener said yes, he said but you do not see the wind how can you believe in it and he replied because I feel it. Proof comes in many forms; feelings are a form of proof. It is important for us not to be ignorant for we believe without seeing yes but we do not believe without proof. The ignorance of the world is what leads to a faithless society, and for us to remain faithful among these faithless people we must strive to be different. We must acknowledge our personal encounters with Christ, the way he saves us, supports us, heals us, hears us and carries us through life. If we do not recall and remember these things our faith dies, and we become as those around us.

Set yourself apart from the world. This is the way we become faithful. The faithless society around us leads us to a multitude of sin and leads our spirit to depression and anguish “but do not fear for He has overcome the world”

Glory Be to God. Amen.

Strength through Weakness

Strength through Weakness 

A poem by Joshua Shehata

Let my eyes be shed to tears before Your Majesty,

My service to You and everything around You is the source of blessing magnifying my life,

As I bow down, You transform my many sorrows to a masterpiece,

From simple favours to life changing decisions

And yet, my love for You only grows stronger.

 

My strength is through You,

and as I begin to realise my mere human weakness,

only then can I observe my worldly limitations crumbling before me.

As you surround me with your presence,

My strife turns into might,

My sadness transforms into happiness,

And my fragility into steadfast faith.

 

I will never cease to continue serving what You began;

To change the world in a way never known to man.

Thank You Lord, for allowing me to be Your unworthy servant,

My heart melts before Your awesome presence,

And yet when You embrace me in Your arms, it’s another deja vu of my adolescence,

Feeling like a child once more,

Doing everything I can in Your Name because You’ve done so much more,

Allow me to feel Your love, wrap me tight around Your arms,

Allow me to feel the true sacrifice You gave to me,

That the humans of Your time couldn’t grasp even after every glance.

 

Remember me O Lord when you come into Your kingdom,

And allow me to be your servant on Earth for as long as I live,

Hand me your wisdom so I may join you in Paradise for all eternity.

Five Minutes

Five Minutes

by Marc Bastawrous 

“If you had just 5 minutes with God, what would you say to Him? What would you do?”

That was the silly question posed to me by a close friend of mine once; a question I admit I paid very little attention to on the basis that it was extremely flawed. For starters, God is not limited by time, so by restricting His time to mere ‘minutes’ bothered me. Furthermore, what could I possibly do or say to God in a short 5-minute period that would effectively change Him or change the way He looks at me? I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of responding to such a scenario. It was an ignorant, thoughtless question that no one could realistically answer and I let my friend know it (we’re still close don’t worry).

That was until passion week some years later, when I finally came across someone in a position suitable to reacting to this very scenario. This person is the beloved disciple and friend of Christ, Peter. Let me explain. Following the death of Christ, the disciples were in apparent hiding for 3 days. Not much is said about this time spent in secrecy and even less is said about their thoughts and feelings regarding the events that had transpired. However, one thing is for certain. Each disciple carried with them a level of guilt and anguish over their actions on the Lord’s last day (all but John). They all bore a sense of responsibility for what had happened to their Master. Of the 10 who remained in hiding (John was probably caring for Mary, and Judas, well, he was ‘out of the picture’), 9 of them carried an equal amount of accountability for forsaking Him in the garden. The other one, was Peter. Peter’s forsaking of Christ was a much deeper betrayal. The wound he carried with him post-crucifixion was one of denying His Master and best Friend. And now, he was left in a wilderness.

Often when you lose someone close to you, the one thing you value above all else are the last words you shared with each other. Let’s explore the last words Peter and Christ shared before the Crucifixion:

 Then Jesus said to them, “All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: 

‘I will strike the Shepherd,
And the sheep of the flock will be scattered,’

But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee.”

Peter answered and said to Him, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble.”

 Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.”

Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!”

And so said all the disciples.

– Matthew 26:31-35

His last words to Christ were a promise. “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” There is no doubt that these words haunted Peter in the days after Golgotha. And when I put myself in his shoes all I could imagine him thinking was: “If only I could take those words back – if only I had 5 more minutes with Him.”

Peter is the ideal candidate to answer this question because his time with Christ was ‘up’ as far as he was concerned. But what exactly was his answer?

I imagine Peter didn’t arrive to a conclusive answer immediately. After all, what would you say to Someone you had just denied? Perhaps in the days after the Lord’s death, Peter went back to Golgotha where the Cross may still have been raised. “If I had 5 more minutes with Christ, I would sit in silence at the foot of His Cross,” he may have thought to himself.

Or maybe Peter wandered away from the disciples and went to the Garden of Gethsemane. “If I had 5 more minutes with Christ, I would watch,” he may have contemplated. It’s all speculation but one thing is for certain, Peter yearned for 5 more minutes with his Lord. He desired it above all else and probably, above all others. How can we say this for sure?

On the third day post-crucifixion, Mary Magdalene returned to the place where the disciples were staying and shared the news of the empty tomb. Peter’s response is as follows:

“Peter therefore went out, and the other disciple, and were going to the tomb. So they both ran together, and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first.”

-John 20:3-4 

He ran. He didn’t wait to hear any more details, he didn’t ask any questions, he just ran. He was in a rush to see Him. Three days of agonising over what he could have said differently, what he could have done differently, and now, a glimmer of hope. “Maybe now is my chance to change everything.” The other disciple who ran with him is thought to be John and, being the younger of the 2 of them, outran Peter to arrive at the tomb first. Although, in spite of his age, I can still picture Peter running to the point of gasping for air. No pain or hurt could compare to the anguish he had just gone through and, even if he had to do it through wheezing breaths, he would tell the Lord exactly what was on his mind. Alas, the tomb was empty, and the Lord was nowhere to be found. Peter would have to wait for his 5 minutes.

That same evening, the Lord appeared to the disciples and revealed to them His risen body. He encouraged them and told them of the Promise of the Father (the Holy Spirit) that would come and endow them with Power. He appeared a second time 8 days later because Thomas was whining that “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). Still Peter could not find the opportunity to speak to Him. Maybe it was during this time that he second guessed himself. “What could I even say to Him?” Peter would still have to wait for his 5 minutes.

And then finally, a few days later while the disciples were out fishing, the Lord reveals Himself (miraculously) to them once more. This time, Peter would have his 5 minutes one way or another. Being out at sea, “he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea” (John 21:7). Picture it. A man of old age, diving into the ocean and swimming to shore like a maniac. I don’t think Peter even knew what he would say to Him, but he would have his 5 minutes with the Lord. He would have the chance to right the wrongs of the last words they shared with each other. It’s what he had been longing for all this time. It can’t wait anymore.

When Peter arrives at shore, the Lord asks him the one question capable of driving a sword into his heart, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” (John 21:15)

I guess this needs a little explaining. In the Greek language, there are three words used to define ‘love’ – and each word carries with it a specific connotation. The word not often seen in the bible is “Eros”, used to describe a lustful type of love (which we know is not really ‘love’ at all). The word most commonly used in the Gospels is “Agape,” which refers to the self-sacrificing, unconditional type of love that the Lord Himself showed on the Cross – the type we should all aspire for. Then there is another commonly used word, “Philio” – this is the type of love that is used between friends. It describes a fondness more than a feeling of deep affection.

When Christ asks Peter, “Do you love Me?” He uses the word “Agape,” the type of love that is ready to lay its life down. So, what He is really asking him is, “Simon, are you ready to lay your life down for me? Do you love Me enough to sacrifice everything?”

Imagine the shame Peter felt in that moment. The agony of his final words to Christ coming back to haunt him once more. “Even if I have to die with You, I will never deny You!”

“What do I say to that? I can’t make the same mistake. What if these are my last 5 minutes with Christ?”

And so Peter, probably through tears, probably through a voice that has cracked from the heavy emotions weighing on him in this very moment, looks into the eyes of the Lord and says to Him:

“Yes, Lord; You know that I love (Philio) You.” – John 21:15

Philio, not Agape. For the first time, Peter pours out his heart to the Lord, in truth. This time, there is no deceit, no lies. Peter, in his 5 minutes with the Lord, uses it, not to cunningly express his boundless love for Him, but to express just how little he has for Him. He uses his 5 minutes with Christ to give Him his heart.

Peter tells Him, “Lord, I can’t give you the love You’re deserving of. I can’t promise that I would lay down my life for You. I can’t even tell You that You’re the most important part of my life. But what I have I give You. Here’s my heart and all it’s truths. It’s not much but I want You to have it.”

Peter decided that if this was to be his last 5 minutes with his Lord, then he would be honest with Him. In psalm 15, King David asks: “Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle?”And a single verse later answers with: “He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart.” In psalm 51 he also writes to God, “behold, You desire truth in the inward parts.” But perhaps, most beautifully, Jeremiah writes in Lamentations 2:19:

“Arise, cry out in the night,
At the beginning of the watches;
Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.”

Pour out your heart in truth to Him. No matter what garbage exists in there, no matter how little love – pour it out like water before Him. It was no coincidence that the Lord chose these 5 minutes to restore Peter. It was this scene that corrected my ignorant understanding of the question posed to me by my friend. Yes, while God is not limited by time, I am. And while nothing I say or do will change Him, it will change me and the relationship I have with Him. It paints the picture of true prayer.

“Prayer does change things, all kinds of things. But the most important thing it changes is us. As we engage in this communion with God more deeply and come to know the one with whom we are speaking more intimately, that growing knowledge of God reveals to us all the more brilliantly who we are and our need to change in conformity to Him. Prayer changes us profoundly.”

– R.C. Sproul (The Prayer of the Lord)

So, after all, it’s not the most unreasonable question in the world. And no doubt this is not the only reasonable answer out there. But it’s mine. What’s yours?

+ Glory be to God. Amen +

Forsake the World

Forsake the World

by Monica Gerges

To forsake the world is a difficult feat – the struggle is real and constant.

Our thoughts and decisions either reflect the values of the world we live in or reflect the values that Christ teaches us and so every thought we have and every decision we make either draws us closer to God or pushes us away. It’s ultimately up to us.

It seems simple enough. But if it’s so simple, why is it such a struggle?

The truth is, we are weak – mere humans. And we’re up against a merciless and enticing world. It isn’t much of a competition. On our own there’s no hope of victory. But what we sometimes forget is that God is our hope and victory – stronger and greater than it all.

Sometimes we feel chained and enslaved to the world. No matter how hard we try, we can’t break free of the world that’s holding us back from being with the One we love. We pray that God would give us the strength to forsake the world but what we fail to realised is this: the only way to forsake the world, is to literally forsake it – to just leave it. I personally learnt that I feel the most free when I find the time to escape the world – it’s stresses, tribulations and temptations and just be in the presence of God and behold the beauty of the Lord.

So our lives need to become about seeking the reverend presence of God. We cannot dismiss the importance of setting aside time to spend time with the Lord but we also need to be able to seek the presence of God in our daily activities and even in the world.

The ability to see God in our surroundings is founded on our relationship with Him. The better we know Him, the easier it is to identify Him in ourselves, in others and in the world around us and in this way we never leave the presence of God.

There’s no doubt that, as Christians, we are called to be different. We are called to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, pray for those who persecute us and bless those who curse us (Luke 6:27-36). We are called to be lights in the world that glorify the name of the Lord (Matthew 5:14-16). We are called to be in the world but not of it. We are called to be God’s.

Moving the Heart of God Like Saint Mary

Moving the Heart of God Like Saint Mary

by Shery Abdelmalak

 If you were to ask your typical Coptic Christian what Saint Mary meant to them, they’re likely to have a story for you. When I was younger I was always told that Saint Mary roams the earth, collecting prayers, making intercessions for her children all around the world. Her work on earth is endless. Her compassion is second to none and moves the Hand of God to action on our behalf.  

As a child, hearing stories about Saint Mary didn’t make me want to ask for her help. It just showed me that she was really busy, and if I wanted help then maybe I should ask a different saint that wasn’t so busy. It all seemed logical; they’re all saints after all, aren’t they? There is something very special about Saint Mary that I still don’t fully understand. Saint Mary isn’t waiting for us to ask for her help. She is roaming the earth looking for the broken, the lonely, those in despair, those in sorrow – and praying for those that don’t even know where to start. Lucky are the ones that go straight to her, but for those that don’t, Saint Mary fights for you too, I want to say she fights for you even more. 

It was for her sake that Jesus’ first miracle took place during the wedding of Cana of Galilee. When the wine ran out at the wedding, Saint Mary immediately went to Jesus, with faith that He could fix all. He responded saying, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come” (John 2:4).

Jesus’ time was yet to come because those in need did not request His help but rather, His mother approached Him on their behalf. Saint John Chrysostom says, “When a person is needy, he becomes thankful upon receiving help, whereas someone who does not feel needy will not have any clear feelings towards a benefit he receives.” 

Jesus preached this to us and the church enforces it endlessly – come to Him when you are in need and He will be sufficient for all your needs. He promised us, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28). Rest is freely given to the one that that comes to God, but we have to come to Him first. The beauty of Saint Mary and her immense love is that her intercessions start at your moment of need, even before you ask.

The Wedding of Cana was the perfect example of this. Saint Mary was the one that came to Jesu, not those in need. This miracle was likely to be witnessed by a small group; Jesus, Saint Mary and the servants that brought the pots of water to Him. Jesus acted knowing that the master of the feast and the bridegroom would have been unaware of the miracle that had occurred for their sakes. Had they have known, they would have felt great humiliation knowing that at their wedding feast, the wine had run out.

We know that humiliation, when given to God, breeds humility. But who is to say that the next time I see humiliation, I will immediately run to God instead of first trying to cover it up? Tribulations can have polar affects depending on how they are approached. Saint Mary had compassion on them so that they would learn their human weaknesses elsewhere, and not from their humiliation.

Like the bridegroom, we don’t always know. We don’t always see our human states. We may recognise our faults and attempt to overcome them on our own merits, rather than seeing that true healing comes when we empty ourselves of all pride and humiliation alike. We can be so afraid of the shame of our human weaknesses that we don’t look up to Him and beg for His mercy.

This is why we plead for the intercessions of Saint Mary. Saint Mary who interceded at the wedding of Cana of Galilee continues to have compassion on the nations of the undeserving, and pleads for us accordingly.

Hence, we remember the assumption of Saint Mary’s precious body that could never remain on our undeserving earth. The fast of Saint Mary was instituted by the people for their love of Saint Mary and complete faith in the power of her intercessions. This love continues till this day as the congregation not only willingly fasts, but desires to extend the period of fasting (with some fasting 3 weeks instead of the set 2 weeks). Her intercessions are also the reason why we call her, “the gate of heaven.” Saint Mary was the gate by which Christ entered the world and in turn, gave us Life. In the same way, her intercession continues to be the gate of salvation and thus, we fast in thanksgiving and in complete admiration of who she is and the blessing of her example.

Saint Mary is the definition of all things beautiful, of all things wise, of all things noble, of all things true. As I try to do the unattainable – writing to do her justice – I can only pray, that you, reading this, be on the lookout for her, for she is never far away from those in need, and thank her for the prayers that she has prayed for you, before you even knew you needed help. Not to mention the multitude of prayers and blessings that she desires for you. May her blessings be with us and glory be to God forever, Amen.