Author: ramez

Living a Purposeful Life

Living a Purposeful Life

by Shery Abdelmalek

“I will not give slumber to my eyelids until I find a dwelling place for the Lord.”

How many days have I wasted because I did not find a dwelling place for the Lord? All I had to do was give Him the smallest of parts of my day, yet I skipped it, as if it were insignificant. The days that turned into weeks and then months taught me one thing.

Every day that does not end in prayer and repentance is a day wasted. Repentance is the cure of all human disease. The very substance that keeps the soul alive. When we were made for the Creator, separation from Him will take its toll soon enough.

To think that in all that time, I could’ve been learning, I could’ve seen His glory, I could’ve been used to bring His children closer to Him – but I chose sleep. While the objective is not to dwell on the past, looking forward there needs to be a rationale for consistent reflection and repentance in prayer daily.

The key to a successful life is culminated in this very verse. While we get caught up in the day to day cycle of life – this verse is the reason why the days feel wasted. A day that is not started and ended with Christ as the foundation of everything.

Throughout all of King David’s afflictions, he knew that he had to find a dwelling place for the Lord. He wasn’t going to sleep thinking about the wars he was going to fight, he wasn’t going to sleep worrying about his enemies, or even his earthly kingdom. At the end of the day, he found a dwelling place for the Lord.

C.S. Lewis says, “If you live for the next world, you get this one in the deal; but if you live only for this world, you lose them both.” Being trapped in the cycles of life comes down to this – every time we rely solely on our own hard work, we’ve missed the bigger picture. It is hard for one to kick against the goads (Acts 26:14), but that is exactly what we do every time we rely on our own efforts, and not on the sustenance that comes from above. If King David could leave an entire kingdom in the hands of God, we can probably remember Him during our assignments, exams and job proposals, too.

So many monks and nuns were known for their lack of sleep. Tamav Ereeny would pray that her two hours of sleep would feel like eight so that she could spend her nights in prayer. St Bishoy hung a rope around his head that it would be lifted if his dropped in sleep while praying.

It took me a long time to even begin to realise the wisdom in this. In my ignorance, I would think, if they devoted their life to Christ why would it matter if they slept? They were going to wake up and keep praying anyway.

In the wisdom of the church fathers and mothers, we see the value of time. Every day that you do not find a dwelling place for the Lord before you sleep, is a day gone to waste. If the example of the monks and nuns is testament to anything it is that once you get a taste for the Lord, you can’t get enough of Him.

There is a direct correlation between wisdom and making the most of our time. St Paul says, “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeemingthe time, because the days are evil.”(Ephesians 5:15-16). We can be fooled into thinking that what we don’t do today, we can do tomorrow. Everything in this world is finite, especially the days. In this present moment, can we see that we are ready to meet with Christ? We don’t know what tomorrow holds, we only know the here and now.

From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, every night that you come before the Lord with a broken and a contrite heart, that is a meaningful day. St Jerome says, “Walk cautiously and prudently. Cast off folly. Take hold of wisdom. In this way, you will be able to avoid changing yourself constantly as you walk through the vicissitudes of the times. Rather you will find a unity within yourself even amid the diversity of the times.”

There is wisdom in spending nights in prayer that separates it from making the most of any other time of day. At the end of a long day, when all you want to do is rest, that is when prayers are heard loudest. We pray hardest when it is hardest to pray. For King David, that verse was written in his distress and afflictions. For the monks and nuns, they would pray to the early hours of the morning, when they were exhausted and the flesh was weak. For it is in those moments, where the flesh is unwilling, that we share in Christ’s suffering.

There should be a level of difficulty to prayer. If the flesh is weak then we can say with St Paul that, “I will boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9). That is the value in swapping rest for Christ. Christ matters more and I pray we never lose sight of this.

For every day, let there be a night where we find a dwelling place for God. Glory be to His Name forever, Amen.

My Perfect Self

My Perfect Self

by Senote Keriakes 

I am writing this to share something which I have personally experienced, in the hope that someone might benefit from it. I aim to keep this reflective, and hopefully not in any way didactic.

For a very long time I thought that my barrier to living a fulfilling, God fearing life was sin. I have come to realize that perhaps this might not be the case.

In reality, at least for me, the wall that stands between me and repentance is erected long before I have committed a sin. It is erected in the moments right after I do something I perceive to be ‘good.’ As soon as I know I have committed a ‘good deed,’ I get that warm, fuzzy feeling and start to imagine the ideal version of myself that I will hopefully soon transform into, thanks to the deed which I have just committed.

My perfect self, let’s call him Senote 2.0 is the perfect Christian. He never misses the mass, never misses Sunday school service, is polite, never gets angry, is patient, doesn’t road rage and always remembers to pray his agpeya before going to bed.

Whilst it’s great to strive to be a better person, I’ve personally found that this train of thought can be quite toxic when it comes to my spiritual life.

The reason I describe this as being the point at which the wall between me and repentance is erected, is because this mentality keeps me in fantasy land. It makes me think that I really am perfect, when I am quite the opposite. The next time I fall into sin, I am struck with the realization that I am nowhere near the person I want to be. This realization is, quite understandably, deflating and demoralizing, and can then lead to a cycle of sin and lack of spiritual motivation. In my mind, I’m thinking ‘What’s the point in trying? I’ll never be Senote 2.0 L’.

I’m honestly not sure if other people do experience this, but in case you do, I’ll share with you what I have personally found to be helpful in dealing with this.

Firstly, I have found that its best to take it step by step when it comes to the spiritual stuff. I have tried to avoid thinking of Senote 2.0 for now, instead just focusing on the next step in my spiritual journey. That way when I do fall into sin, it only feels like I am falling from the small step which I took yesterday, rather than falling from the chimerically elevated Senote 2.0 which I’ve constructed in my mind. This makes the recovery back to God through repentance a much less daunting task.

Secondly, I have found that getting angry at myself when I do fall into sin is very counterproductive. Brother Lawrence in ‘The practice of the presence of God’ explains that he was someone who was in constant conversation with God. When something nice happens, he thanks God, when something inconvenient happens, he asks God for help. When he sinned, he asked God for forgiveness and moved on with his life. This, of course, does not negate the need for repentance and confession, as these things are essential for our forgiveness. It just means that there’s no need to dwell on that sin for too long. In one of his sermons, Fr Anthony Messeh says to “pray, but not too much,” in the sense that we should mention our concerns and petitions to God in prayer, but that we shouldn’t do it obsessively and to the point where this issue or sin becomes amplified in our minds.

It’s important to understand that we aren’t perfect, and that, as humans, we have a propensity to sin. A priest once explained this to me by comparing Christians facing the spiritual struggle to soldiers facing battle. A soldier doesn’t enter battle thinking he will come out unscathed. He knows that there is a great chance he will be injured. Similarly, we should understand that during the spiritual struggle it is quite possible that we will fall into sin. However, our response to sin should be asking for forgiveness rather than lambasting ourselves for the spiritual weakness which is part of our nature.

I will leave you with an excerpt from ‘The Practice of the presence of God’; “I can do no better without You, [Lord]. Please keep me from falling and correct the mistakes I make.”

New Comers to the Church

New Comers to the Church

by Anthony Zaccariotto

I write this for all people who have recently joined the Coptic Orthodox Church and are trying to adjust themselves to the customs, masses and crowds that come along with it. I am also writing this because I too would have liked to have come across a piece of writing like this when I first started. Just so I would have known a little bit more. I have also written a separate blog to this if you would like to hear more about my journey to the church and what persuaded me to become a Christian. Either way let’s get started.

 

The first thing you need to make sure of is that you don’t freak out when you see some of the traditions held in the church by the Coptic’s. When I first arrived at the church I saw some curious things that really confused me. I saw priests dressed in black cassocks with people kissing their hands, people kissing the floor, the drapes. I saw icons everywhere with confusing writing on the walls (Coptic). At the beginning I felt a bit uncomfortable and I felt like I was the minority. Don’t worry, you will later discover that you are not alone and you will fall in love with them all. You will also find when you begin to learn more about why they hold these customs and traditions you will want to know more about them too.

 

The second thing you need to be aware of is that everything involved in the liturgy (mass) is symbolic and represents something. There is no chaos in the church, so please don’t get caught up in thinking that this is all too weird and confusing and feel like you can’t adjust to these liturgies. Believe me if you really allow yourself to understand and scrutinise what is being demonstrated you will enjoy it more and more. Being in church is about drawing closer to God and when you allow yourself to be drawn into these liturgies and get more involved you will really feel God’s presence work through you. I remember the first time I came in I felt really awkward, as it was nothing I had ever experienced before, and I had a tough time getting my head around what was going on. If you ever get uncomfortable at the start just remember that this is the house of God, we are here for Him and there is nothing to be worried about.

 

If you are guy like me and the church provides you the opportunity to become a deacon I would highly recommend taking up the offer. There is nothing more beautiful and serene than serving on the altar and feeling the Divine presence up close. I have had many embarrassing experiences up there due to my lack of knowledge so please don’t hesitate to ask someone for help. You will often find everyone loves to help and serve so don’t be shy, we are all here for each other.

 

There is one last thing I need to mention before I finish. It is of utmost importance that you do not put a high standard on anyone in the church including myself. You need to remember that we are in the church for one reason and that is God. We are not to tie our happiness to the people in it. If you find yourself tying your happiness to the people rather than God Himself you may find yourself being disappointed. We are all human and we all have our own situations going on in life. If you find that someone disappoints you or upsets you, just remember that our beliefs are not based on how other people behave. I’m not saying this is going to happen to you I just need to give you a heads up because I really don’t want this to happen to anyone. Often times the biggest barrier to Christ in the world has been the Christians themselves. Make God your number one priority in the church and everything else will fall into place.

 

Coming to the church is all about starting a new journey with Christ. The more you grow in your relationship with Him the more you will begin to see things differently in your life. No one will be able to take away the peace that He brings into your heart. Everybody in life needs someone they can turn to for guidance, assistance, love and peace and this is what Christ offers us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He has brought you to this church for a reason. Please don’t waste the opportunity to grow in this relationship with Him and enjoy the wonderful fruits that He has to offer. He will bring into your life the people that belong there and take out the people that don’t. You only need to trust Him. May our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all on your new journey and I look forward to meeting you all very soon.

Faith or Feelings

Faith or Feelings

by Shery Abdelmalek

Faith = the belief in the unseen. A belief that is unwavering through trials and external circumstances.

Feelings = ever changing and temperamental.

While having no comparison, when feelings are confused for faith, turmoil naturally results. We begin praying only when we feel like it and as a result, we inadvertently neglect God, our First Love, when we don’t.

What good excuse is there to put the love of your life on hold? Does anyone in a relationship ever take massive long breaks from their beloved and expect things to remain the same when they return? No chance.

You can make all the excuses you want. You can convince yourself that being apart from Him is the best decision for the moment. You can even, as the prodigal son did, choose to live and eat amongst a pigsty because you don’t feel like going home just yet – you can make it on your own. While you make these compromises within yourself, that is your very own pigsty. A pigsty that the devil has blinded you to believe is your own palace.

Even the devil used scripture in an attempt to convince Jesus to fall into temptation. Any word or phrase in the Bible can be twisted to suit any agenda. It all starts with one feeling. One feeling you don’t want to let go of. When a feeling or a thought becomes the cornerstone of our belief system, internal confusion and chaos result.

This is why we value faith – it remains constants throughout all trials and tribulations. St Paul says we walk by faith, not by sight. We can read this and think that faith must be the opposite of sight. That would mean faith is blind. Faith is not synonymous with being blind. Faith is seeing through spiritual eyes, and not earthly. Faith is believing in the One that has delivered you time and time again, will continue to do so. We must remain steadfast in our faith. The Word of God that took Flesh remains throughout all hurdles. The blessing of these hurdles is lost when we let go of faith and look with earthly eyes.

When feelings override faith, external influences begin to dictate our inward selves. The spirit doesn’t stand a chance. This is stage one of a faith that is slipping toward the desires of the flesh. Elder Thaddeus explains this saying:

“As soon as a desire or a worldly thought enters our mind, God immediately sends a warning. Instead of coming to our senses and blocking such thoughts and desires, we nurture them and long for them, and afterwards we wonder why bad things happen to us. These signs of warning come in the form of temptations.”

When temptations are not fought, the soul begins to suffer. Prayers change according to what has happened in the world around us on any particular day. You may have had a great day, you may have had the worst day imaginable.

Through it all, let one phrase be the pinnacle of your thoughts – It is what it is.
Controlling emotions is no easy task but we gain strength in feeding the spirit over the desires of the flesh. If the spirit is strong, there is little influence external events and circumstances can have. Feed the spirit before you feed body. Elder Thaddeus continues on saying:

“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances in which we live, we are drawn into a whirlpool of thoughts and can have neither peace nor tranquillity.”

The devil may trap you, through feelings, to believe you can go one day without His providence, weeks, months, years even. He may lead you to believe that He will never take you back. 2 minutes of repentance can cleanse years of separation. One step toward the Saviour of us all is all it takes. Sit with yourself, alone, for 2 minutes and talk to Him. Return to Him and He will return to you. The second He sees you coming from a distance, He will run to greet you. There is no shame attached. 2 minutes is all it takes, especially when we don’t feel like it. You don’t think the devil knows how to keep you away? He’s being doing this for much longer than you or I have been alive. All those doubts you have, the devil is the author of them all.

Don’t forget the One who made you and gave you the authority to trample over serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy. You belong to God, don’t let the devil let you think otherwise. There is no good excuse to remain away. No sin too great He can’t forgive. No weakness. No sorrow. It’s amazing the doubts and excuses the devil can implant when we just don’t feel like praying. They can built up so much in the mind when in reality, God is waiting earnestly to greet you. Elder Thaddeus explains this cycle as follows:

“A person who is entrapped in the vicious cycle of chaotic thoughts, in the atmosphere of hades, or has only so much as touched, feels the torment of hell. For example, we read the newspaper or take a walk in the streets, and afterwards we suddenly feel that something is not quite right in our souls; we feel an emptiness; we feel sadness. That is because by reading all sorts of things, our mind becomes distracted and the atmosphere of hades has free access to our minds.”

Fight to discipline the feelings that come and go, only then will you have inward peace. In closing, Elder Thaddeus puts it best:

“This is how we must live – controlling our thoughts. It is not good to dwell on every thought that comes to us otherwise we lose our peace. If we learn to refuse such proposals, we are quiet. We do not fantasize or create any images in our mind.”

All quotes taken from “Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica”

You Can’t Leave Me

You Can’t Leave Me

by John Boules

I’m the type of person that is very dependent on others. I get really happy when I’m at church with friends, I love it when we drive to church together as a family, I speak to my friends everyday, and I don’t really like being alone.

I was thinking about it today and I think you can make that same assumption with Saint Peter. You see how much he really loves Our Lord and how dependant he is on Him.

If we look at the story of Peter walking on water, he doesn’t actually care about the act/power of walking on water, he cares about going to Christ.

And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” (Matthew 14:28)

He just wants to be with his Lord because that’s where he feels safest. It reminds me of when I was a kid and would walk off by myself in the shopping centre and then I’d realise I’ve lost mum and I would just drop onto the floor and cry. As soon as I’d look up and see my mum at a distance, I would race towards her as she crouches down and jump into her arms! It was the best feeling – the safest I’ve ever felt.

From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!”
– Matthew 16:21-22

The word that screams out to me is ‘rebuke’
If we define rebuke, it says; “to express sharp disapproval or criticism of someone because of their behaviour or actions”

This reminds me so much of those movies where you’ve got the husband and the wife and they’re having an argument. He stands up abruptly and yells “i can’t do this anymore! I’m leaving!” He walks towards the door and she quickly realised that’s she can’t do life without him. She jumps towards him and grabs his hand and pleads with him! “No! Please don’t leave me! You can’t leave me, I need you!”

Christ tells the disciples that He’s going to be crucified and killed and He’s going to leave them. They’re going to be independent soon. Peter can’t take it! He pulls him aside and gets really angry! But not anger, anger! But more anger out of love and being scared! “Lord you can’t leave me! What am I supposed to do without You! You actually can’t do this to me!”

You also see it when the Jews arrest Christ, Peter rips the sword out and cuts the servant’s ear! At that point, he sees it all unfolding. Everything that Christ said earlier is actually happening and it hits him all at once. He freaks out and he was probably thinking, ‘you can’t take Him! He’s all I have!’

Three people approach him in front of others saying that he’s associated with the crucified One. He hastily denies all accusations. But you notice in the last one he gets really angry in comparison to the first two times – “Man, I do not know what you are talking about!”

He knew exactly who Jesus Christ is. He knew he was denying Christ. But we tend to look at him as a traitor without going through the emotions with him. When His Lord is on the cross, Peter feels abandoned, he’s angry and he feels lonely.

Lord, we were always together! Lord, you were my strength. I was your sheep, you were my shepherd. You healed the blind. The children that came to you, you hugged them and showed them compassion. You cried after Lazerus. Now you’re up there. On the cross. Why couldn’t you just stop them? Why couldn’t you just wipe them out? Why do you have to leave me? I need you Lord!

Saint Peter was terrified. The person he loved so much, depended on so much, is now on the cross. He feels so lost and lonely right now and then three people try and get him into trouble. So he yells out ‘I don’t know him! I don’t know him!’ He runs away and sobs bitterly by himself. He does all this because he loves Him so much, he’s just scared! The thought of Him not being in the picture just freezes his bones! But Peter didn’t realise that Our Lord was with him the whole time. He never left him.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

Thinking about this has just made me fall in love with Saint Peter. I see myself in him in so many ways. In times of trouble, I feel lonely and abandoned. But just as Christ never left Peter, Christ never leaves me.

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” – Psalm 118:6

I feel jealous though – I want to feel dependent on God just as Saint Peter did. Lord, I want to feel lost without You. I want to feel so completed with You that when I’m not with You, I feel there’s something big missing.

Lord, help me feel Your presence in my life. Help me feel whole again.

He is Useful to Me for Ministry

He is Useful to Me for Ministry

by Fr Anthony St Shenouda

When we speak of the apostles we generally speak of their achievements and successes. This is often not the full story. St Mark, who was a young man, had his fair share of failures at the beginning of his ministry. In the gospel of Mark he tells us how he escaped the scene of Jesus’ crucifixion naked (Mark 14:50-52). As well as this, in the book of Acts we are told that Mark refused to go with the apostles because he seemed to have been homesick and preferred to return to his mum in Jerusalem. We know that this angered St Paul and made him refuse to take Mark with him to serve, in turn affecting St Mark’s reputation.

The incidences at the beginning of St Mark’s ministry affected his reputation within the church. St Paul had to send special instructions for the church to receive St Mark, recommending Mark for the service. St Paul stated “Mark the cousin of Barnabas, concerning whom you have received instructions – if he comes to you, receive him” (Col. 4:10) saving St Mark’s reputation in the church from going down the drain.

A lot of us may fall into this sort of situation at some point in our lives. A situation where we have made mistakes in the past and gotten a reputation for being lousy servants. This is a hurtful situation to be in, gaining a bad reputation from a single past experience. Despite the hurt, St Mark didn’t let this affect him. He became motivated to serve and his motivation never died out notwithstanding his personal weaknesses and external pressures. St Mark got back into service through a mentor, his cousin, Barnabas. He was a mentor who believed in him and his motivation for service, a mentor who saw past all his weaknesses and the opinions of men and brought him back into the service.

A few years later, after overcoming his weakness, we hear of St Mark’s  many amazing achievements! He preached the gospel to Alexandria, Egypt and his account of the life of Jesus became the venerated second gospel. Above all this, the greatest achievement of all was that he was finally martyred in the name of Christ.

So if you may have stopped serving for any reason, or if something has happened in the past or something is still happening, like a clash with a well-respected servant like St Paul and St Mark, know that it is not the end of your story. There are many different areas in service where you can thrive and one day this well respected servant will say (about you) “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

The Love of a Parent

THE LOVE OF A PARENT

By Shery Abdelmalak 

“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

We know this verse like the back of our hands. Yet how often do we practice this? When you go to confession, is there ever a point where you don’t stop to think about how you treated your parents? There is something missing here. Clearly, we cannot fully grasp the importance of honouring our parents.

Our parents, like God, love with an unconditional love. If God has ever expressed how much He loves us, it is by comparison to the love of a parent. Isaiah 49:15-16 reads,

Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands

After all the sins that the nation of Israel committed against the Lord, He continues to pour His Love upon them. Did Israel deserve anything from the Lord at this point? Every man acted in accordance with what was right in his own eyes. What God? They showed complete ignorance for the God that saved them, the God that redeemed them, the God that promised them a land flowing of milk and honey. Yet He still reaches out to them in love. Maybe this time they will understand. Maybe if He just showed them how great His love is once more.

John Cassian says, “This design and love of His, which the Lord designs with unwearying kindness to benefit us with and which He wishes to express as an act of human affection, although He discovers no such loving disposition in His creation to which He could worthily compare it, He has compared with the most tender heart of a loving mother. He uses this example because He can find nothing dearer in the nature of human beings.“

A mother could never forget her own child. It is medically impossible. Oxytocin is released throughout pregnancy and is particularly heightened during delivery. While it primarily serves to assist with contractions, oxytocin is also known as the “love hormone.” This is because it shifts behaviour toward warmth, compassion and protection for the new born baby. A love that is not conditioned to the actions of the baby. At that point, nothing a child does can make their parents love them any less. Through the family unit, God gives us insight into the love that is imparted from the Creator to the creation.

Christ explains the entire oxytocin process best when He says, “A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” – John 16:21

How could a screaming baby lead to joy? It was all in His original design. While the love of a parent is but a small fraction of the love God has for us, it brings us that little bit closer to Him.

When we are loved unconditionally, it becomes difficult to reciprocate. There may be immediate repercussions for a child’s action, but the love of a parent remains. If we look at the story of St Augustine’s return to God, we see the power of a parent’s love. St Monica had successfully converted her husband and mother-in-law to the faith but her son, Augustine was more difficult. After sending him away, she had a vision that forced her to continue praying for his salvation despite his resistance. For years, she prayed and on one encounter with a bishop, he told her, “the child of those tears shall never perish.” Seventeen years of prayer later, St Augustine became one of the greatest theologians of our faith.

For the rest of us, we may not be joined to the world living to our heart’s content, we may think that we are doing alright, but for all the times we ignore or react badly to our parents, do we truly know love? In the same way we did not choose our parents, we did not choose God either. Christ told His disciples, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.” – John 15:16. These levels of love are difficult to comprehend and so, God’s starts us off simply with the example of our parents so that we get a glimpse into true love that is in Christ.

All in all, we may never be able to comprehend the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves. Alas, the opportunity to love our parents is here and now, we cannot let it go to waste out of ignorance. Despite whatever annoyance, anger or frustration that you may have for your parents, no one will love you quite the same as your parents. God promises us long life if we honour our parents. We could not be joined with Him unless we loved our parents. How could we honour God whom we have not seen if we do not honour our parents whom we have seen? It is not a matter of punishment, it is a matter of understanding.

Learn to honour your parents first, then you will learn to give God the glory due to His Name. There is no parent who does not wait with the same eagerness as the father of the prodigal son. After he had spent his entire inheritance, treating his father like he was already dead – the absolute height of disrespect – his father waited and watched for his son’s return, for his son to be brought back to life. This is the love that we honour. It is no difficult task when we can understand how much they have already given up for us out of unconditional love.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23

By Senote Keriakes

Cranial nerves, Cavity preparation and mental breakdowns come to mind when I reflect on my first year of uni, which was overwhelming to say the very least. Through my struggles, the beauty King David crafted into psalm 23 became undeniable.

I truly believe that the words of this psalm carried me through my semester two exam period, which was possibly one of the most challenging times of my life. Each verse had a profound impact on me and on my outlook towards this tough time.

1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.

The first verse, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”Is a sentence which we hear repeatedly. Quite often with these repetitive religious clichés, we become desensitised to the profound meaning that is behind them. It is only when I pause and think carefully about these words that I can understand what King David is really trying to say here. For me, these words are very humbling. In the grand scheme of things, my academic achievements, relationships, and everything else in life mean nothing without God’s blessing. In other words, I am God’s sheep, and I am nothing without my shepherd.

Another part that stands out to me in this verse is “I shall not want.”The obvious interpretation here is that I won’t need anything in life, and that all my sustenance in life comes from the Lord. However, this phrase could also mean “I shall not want” another shepherd. Anything else in life which provides me with a sense of security or a sense of self-worth is temporal, and the only way in which I can be happy is if I fully rely on God in my plight.

Quite often I find that I derive my self-worth from my academic achievements, or from other worldly sources. The happiness or validation that I get from these sources is meaningless, as the only shepherd or true source of happiness I need is God.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.

Walking through life, I am merely a child, unaware of how to navigate through life. However, I need not worry, because He is leading me. I used to think that meant that whenever I get closer to Him I instantly discover what He has in store for me. However, I have come to understand that It just means that even though I don’t know where my life is going and how it will turn out, I trust that the Lord is leading me to a place full of blessings, and that I don’t need to lean on my own understanding but acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths (Proverbs 3:5)

3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

I am not blessed because I deserve blessings, I am blessed by grace. Because of His awesome mercies that endure forever. Augustine of Hippo puts it best when he writes, “He hath brought me forth in the narrow ways, wherein few walk… not for my merit’s sake but for His name’s sake.”

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

This verse was perhaps the most comforting one for me out of this whole psalm.

As I walked the hallways to my final exam, I was a nervous wreck. I thought I had failed all my exams up until this point and this was my final chance. This was my valley of shadow of death. A walk that was have filled with stress and anxiety was alleviated by comparison to the reality of it all. His rod and staff were my comfort. Regardless of what happened in that last exam, one thing I knew for certain, that He would be by my side every step of the way.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.

A possible outcome of my exams was failure. However, even in that case, I wouldn’t feel as if the Lord has abandoned me. The fact that I am studying the course which I dreamed of is enough of a blessing as it is. My life “runs over” with blessings, therefore should I really be disappointed when one little thing doesn’t go my way?

This way of thinking is very easy when things are going my way. The trick is to convince myself of the truth behind this statement when I feel that I am losing control of a situation. Feeling as if I am losing control isn’t entirely a bad thing, in fact I would argue that it’s a great thing.

The fact that I am losing control only means that the situation is now under the control of God. I am a human. God is God. Is it really such a bad thing for me to forfeit control of what’s going on, only for God to take control?

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

I’ve come to understand that “goodness and mercy” following me “all the days of my life” doesn’t mean that good things will always happen to me. It just means that I will be happy, and more accepting of myself as I pass through tribulation.

“The Lord was with Joseph and he was a successful man” (Genesis 39:2 NKJV)– The success of Joseph is the true aim. Spiritual success over the worldly. To be in a jail cell on earth but singing His praise internally.

Understanding the Holy Fifty

Understanding the Holy Fifty

Inspired by Fr Bishoy Andrawes

The church gives us 50 days to enjoy the resurrection of Christ. There is something special about this feast that we do not want to let go. We get something brand new during this season. It is a season of victory. It is the season where God changes our hearts.

Throughout the 8 weeks of Lent, our eyes were on the Cross. We wanted to crucify the old man and my habits so now is the time to live as the new man. During this season of resurrection, how do we receive the new man and victory in Christ?

We can fall into sin and rise again or we can be slaves to sin. Anyone can fall while they are walking. There is a difference between someone who fell, got up and kept walking and the one who falls, stays down and chooses to allow sin to control their life. Today, there is something in you. You no longer fight according to your own power. You have grace that gives you power and strength so you’re no longer enslaved under the law. You have grace that pulls you up. Something extra and powerful. God is planting His life in us.

To be a good person, I stop sinning. That’s not the truth. Not doing bad things and attending church does not make holy people, it makes you a church pew. If you become in the image of Christ, His love, His patience and His holiness makes you the person God wants you to be.

In Lent, we struggle to defeat the old man and the uprooting of sins. If these roots are now empty, something else will enter. We do not want to leave the roots empty, but implant the life of Christ within us.

If you have your arm in a cast and the cast comes off once the bone has healed, do you think you can move your arm right away? It will be painful to move. It did heal and the bones are healing but it’s not used to the movement. For this to happen, it needs practice. That’s exactly what God does in our lives. Doubts that I can’t move or I can’t do anything good are not true. You’re healing, the bad roots are out. You need to keep moving your arm little by little. This takes a lot of faith. God has worked in you. Now, use your members as instruments of righteousness. Walk while you have the light. When Jesus gave Lazarus new life, did he jump out of the tomb? No, he needed someone to untie him.

The grace of resurrection is given to us in 50 days so we keep noticing and practicing. When a cast is taken off, physiotherapy commences to re-train the muscles. This is our 50 days of spiritual therapy to move the muscles of righteousness. This is a pain of health and not of sickness as we grow in Him. Do not be discouraged when you fall. The dominion of sin is gone, but that does not mean we will not fall ever again. It means that when we fall, we rise.

If someone is done with his cast and tries to carry something but can’t and thinks their arm is still broken, this is not true. The arm is fine, it just needs some training. Some belief that it is okay. This is the same as a slave who has no control over sin. God has helped me, God has worked in me but I do not believe that I am capable of change.

We receive resurrection through the life of Jesus Christ but we need to believe in that. During this time, we celebrate His grace and His work in me that has given me living hope.

 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hopethrough the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead”– 1 Peter 1:3

Hope is not, “I hope my grades get better.” Hope is in the resurrected Christ. When Thomas did not believe, Christ told him to touch His side and His hands. Why did Christ do that? It is impossible for an Apostle to preach Christ without experiencing the resurrection. It is impossible to a be a servant of Christ without experiencing the new man in resurrection. That is how I was. I was blind but now I see. I was dead but now I live. I experience this not every year but every Sunday! Resurrection is the miracle of Christianity.

Christianity is not about healing the sick. It’s not about making people better or nicer or kinder. Christianity is about resurrection. New life. New beginning.

My resurrection is dependent on Him and not on myself. The old man is gone. O Death where is your sting?

 

Thomas Sunday

THOMAS SUNDAY
By Shery Abdelmalek

 What do we know about St Thomas?

He’s the one that doubted that Christ rose from the dead, but what else?

St Thomas was a brave and great saint He preached in India, China and Africa. When the king asked him about his achievements his response was, “The palaces that I built were the souls that have become the temples of the King of Glory; the carpentry that I did was the Gospel that removes the thorns of sin; and the medicines I practiced are the Holy Mysteries which heal the poison of the evil one.” He was imprisoned, tortured and finally received the crown of martyrdom.

Thomas went boldly before the Throne of grace to alleviate any doubts in the resurrected Christ. “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

Thomas touched the wounds of Christ. His pierced Side. The nails that went through His Hands. Thomas is the real hero of this story. How many people in history can say that they have done this? Had he have taken the disciples’ word for it, he would have been preaching the resurrection blindly. He is the perfect model of overcoming doubt. Unless you have survived doubt, your faith still has room to grow. The kind of faith we strive for is one that has overcome doubt and not one that has never questioned. Question God but then find answers to your questions. King David doubted. We see it in the psalms, but he overcame. King David was a man after God’s own heart, through faith.

Doubt that is left unanswered and unresolved becomes the cause of distance between us and Christ. We should not allow ourselves to settle for a Christ that we doubt. We should not settle for lukewarm faith. Do as Thomas did. Christ was not even present when Thomas made his request, yet He responded as if He were. How did He know exactly what Thomas needed?

“Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

 Christ tells him to be believing not unbelieving. There is a difference between the doubt that Thomas had and disbelief. In disbelief, there is complete assurance that we are justified in the conclusion made that Christ could not have resurrected from the dead. In doubt, there is still potential for belief. For whatever doubt you may have, trust that He has heard your prayer and is waiting to answer you in a way that will strengthen your faith.

The joy of answered prayer and a relationship with Christ is unparalleled. Our faith is weak because we do not encounter Christ enough. Thomas Sunday is a day of joy. It is the eighth day after Christ’s death. The church calls it the new Sunday because it is the eight day. The seventh day is the Sabbath and the day of comfort and so, the eighth day is the day of new life. The disciples received joy on this day.  The disciples left everything for Christ. They had no career or lives of their own. And suddenly He was gone. They were in darkness and had doubts, all of them. The time when Christ was in the tomb would’ve been heartbreaking. When Jesus did appear, they would’ve felt great embarrassment at the way they had scattered. They said that they were prepared to die with Him but then fled.

Jesus did not return to rebuke them, but to strengthen them and give them hope. He enters the room in which they were staying and says, “Peace be with you.” No rebuke, no questions. Just peace that filled their hearts with all joy.

We rejoice in the power of His death that overcame death. There is power in the scars of Christ. “So Christ did triumph but through weakness not strength and through poverty not wealth” (Fr Manasseh Youhanna). He revealed Himself to Thomas in all humility through His wounds and not in the greatness of His Holy Majesty. Christ did not come as a King to earth, but as the son of a carpenter. He did not instate His authority over us but removed the filth of sin by His wounds. Through His stripes, we are healed. Christ reveals Himself in His wounds.

Fr Yacoub Magdy says, “Looking at His scars in eternity will be the source of joy. Every time we touch His scars we will have tremendous joy. I have never seen a new priest praying his first mass and touching the scars of the Lord without crying. I watch it with eagerness! Something happens to them that gives them tremendous joy.”

When we look to Thomas, we look to him so that we can imitate the way he doubted on that very day. Make your doubts known to God. Tell Him exactly what you need for your faith to grow, and He will provide.

Unless you can cry out like Thomas – “My Lord and my God!” – when he saw the resurrected Christ, there are doubts just waiting to be turned into an unshakable and unwavering faith.

See more:

Fr Yacoub Magdy on the joy of the New Sunday (25 min) –  https://soundcloud.com/upperroommedia/the-new-sunday

Fr Anthony Messeh on doubt that leads to faith (20 min) – http://subspla.sh/zfruanh