Author: ramez

Untold but not Unwritten

By Bethany Kaldas

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‘Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.’

Psalm 139:16

Reading a story is a very different experience to being in one.

When you read a story, you can see all the threads connecting the different events, you can see method behind apparent madness, you can often tell the destiny of a character before it happens to them because you know how the author writes or the genre of the book. If you’re reading a romance, an unexpected knock at the door is intriguing, exciting—if you’re reading a horror story and know the author to be especially sadistic, the same event will raise your blood pressure.

But if you were a character in these tales, you’d see things quite differently. Most of the events are fragmented, things come out of the blue and vanish again, apparently without significance, and the story’s end is always a mystery.

We tend to be more like characters than readers when it comes to our own lives. Even when we do draw connections, try to find meaning in the mundane or the miserable or the marvellous, it’s all guesswork at best. We make decisions, often believing to be informed, but we’ll never know all the factors that will impact the results of our choices. We forge our destinies half-blind and a lot more feeble than we’d like to believe.

We can fight as hard as we can for clarity, but at the end of the day, we’ll never know the future until it becomes the present. Whether we like it or not, we’re characters, not readers and not really authors, of our own stories, and that means we live with more questions than answers.

Being a Christian adds another layer of complexity to the questions we have. Ideally, we’d say that believing in God means that God is active in our lives. He’s not a reader, surely! When we get hit with plot twists and complications, He isn’t going to sit idly by eating popcorn and watching in surprise. He’ll be there. He’ll do something.

‘Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”’

John 11:32

Mary, the sister of Lazarus and Martha, was a woman of faith. She believed that God was with her and her family, and when her brother became ill, I’m sure she had no doubt that Christ could save the day. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have sent for Him to come to them when Lazarus got sick. And any normal person, upon hearing that a dear friend was gravely ill, would rush to their side, especially if there was something you could to help.

‘Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.’

John 11:56

Did you see that? Jesus hears that Lazarus is sick, his sisters are scared, they need Him to help…and He waits. One might not think Jesus a very good friend, except the writer makes it clear that Christ loved these people, and it was because He loved them that He waited.

We all know how this story ends. We know Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead and that this ends up being one of the most important miracles that He ever performs in His ministry. But Mary and Martha didn’t know that. They didn’t know how their story was going to end, and it’s the not knowing that makes it so much harder to trust.

‘Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.’

C. S. Lewis

The truth is, although all of us are confident that God is not merely a reader, most of us see Him as a character. A big, strong character, sure, but a character nonetheless. We can’t see the whole story, only the chapter we’re in, and we seem to think that’s all God can see too. Or at least, that’s how we behave much of the time.

‘If you truly believe that it is actually God who has brought you to this place, then entrust Him with your cares and cast on Him all your concerns; and He will dispose your affairs as He wills.’

Sts Barsanuphius and John, Letters from the Desert

Perhaps that’s why we seem to think we’ve been abandoned when we feel alone, or that we’re being punished when things go wrong, or that we’ve been forgotten when our prayers are met with silence and heartache. We don’t admit it, but sometimes, when the plot has taken a nasty, unexpected turn, we feel God must’ve been just as surprised as we are—or else, surely it wouldn’t have happened. We see God as the hero—or maybe, sometimes, the villain—of our story, but not the author.

‘You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved. Approach him and be at peace.’

Charles Spurgeon

Every day of our lives, our stories are being told. We are living each page, each word, for the first time, completely unaware of what that next paragraph is going to say. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been written yet. Even the most cleverly written tales are not mysteries to their authors.

Even when you can’t see where the story is going, He can. And unlike actual book characters, we don’t have to worry about our author being some sadistic psychopath who just likes to watch people suffer for the sake of added drama. We know who our author is. We know He wants the best for us. And unlike Mary and Martha when Lazarus died, we know how the story will end. He told us that the end of this story is only the beginning of a much bigger, much better one. Spoilers, the best kind.

‘…now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.’

C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle

‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.’

Revelation 21:4

The key is remembering that the happy ending is coming, no matter how rough the tale itself is, and that the author Himself is on this adventure with us. And if you can find it in you to trust Him, even in the rough passages, you’ll start to see Him more and more in every word.

‘When I trust deeply that today God is truly with me and holds me safe in a divine embrace, guiding every one of my steps I can let go of my anxious need to know how tomorrow will look, or what will happen next month or next year. I can be fully where I am and pay attention to the many signs of God’s love within me and around me.’

Henri Nouwen

The Countdown out of Lockdown

adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily

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Passage Luke 9:10-17

As we drive around these days, we find empty and deserted streets. Even here at church, it has become empty and deserted during the lockdown.

A very similar scene is witnessed in the Gospel. We see a scene of a deserted place. The disciples had returned from their ministry, eager to tell the Lord what they had done. The Lord, in response, takes them to a deserted place. He did this so that they could spend time with Him and to be alone with Him, free from distraction.

The people hear that the Lord is present in this area and they flock to hear His words. Christ spends all day teaching them and instructing them. They are so immersed in His teaching that they forget what time it is.

The disciples grow concerned and tell Jesus that is time to send them home, for they were in a deserted place. If we picture this scene of a deserted ground, that was dark, probably getting cold, and far from any shops, the natural response would be to send them all home.We know the disciples are probably beginning to feel hungry as they are thinking about where the people will get food. If it is the end of the day, then it is likely that they are tired also. This scene can be compared to our own lives with lockdowns still looming. Deserted. Cold. Dark. This is a time of great need.

This reminds me of the countdown I give my children when I want them to do something. I start counting down from 5. 4. 3. 2.1. And hope that they do what I say before I reach 1.

This countdown has 5 loaves of bread, 4 angels, 3 trees, 2 priests and 1 random.

FIVE LOAVES

The story of the Gospel begins to change with the 5 loaves. The problem was easily solved by our Lord without any assistance. Yet He insisted that the disciples give the people something to eat. Christ should have done it! He’s God. Why does He need the participation of the disciples?

So they say to Him, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish!” (Luke 9:13.

Christ actions clearly say, “that is all I need.”

If those 5 loaves were not present that day, would the people have been fed? Maybe not. For this is the nature of God. He is a Co-Worker with us. He does not like to work in isolation. He wants to use humanity to do His Work. Those 5 loaves were acquired that day for His Work. The start of this scene being transformed was the participation of the disciples in service. Service was the beginning of transformation.

FOUR ANGELS

There was a legend of 4 angels. When God began to create the world, there were 4 angels that came to Him with a question. One angel came and asked the scientific questions, “How are You creating the world?” The second angel asked the philosophical question, “Why are You creating the world?” The third angel asked the self-seeking question, “When You finish creating the world, can I have it?” The fourth angel asked the Christian question, “How can I help You create the world?“

As Christians, this should be on all our minds! How can I help the Lord? When we are in scene of devastation and despair and isolation and desertedness. The question for us is not in the divisiveness of the details, but in, “how can I help?” and “what can I offer?” and “how can I support another person?”

THREE TREES

There is another story of three trees. The three trees were talking and the first tree said, “when I grow up and become a really big tree, I want to be cut down and made into lumber to build a large hotel that accommodates for kings.” The second tree said, “when I grow up and become a big tree, I want to cut down and built into lumber that will make huge ships that will sail the oceans.” The third tree said, “When I grow up and become a big tree, people will look up and I would direct them to God.”

As time passed, and the trees grew, the first tree was cut down and built into a manger. The first tree complained and complained. This was not what the tree wanted. Until one night, the Son of God was born in this manger. Then the tree was at peace.

The second tree was cut down, and it wasn’t used to build a large ship, but a small boat that was used in the Sea of Galilee. It complained and complained, until one day, our Lord stood on this boat and spoke wonderful words of light. Finally this tree was at peace.

The third tree was cut down and was made into a cross. It complained and complained, surely it could not point people to God when it became a method of execution. Then one day, the Son of God was crucified on this Cross. This tree, too, was at peace.

All these trees had a hope and vision for their lives, but they could not find peace until they were used by God. Our life is exactly like these trees. We will never have peace until God uses us.

TWO PRIESTS

There is a story of two priests. During the last lockdown, Fr Yacoub thought to himself, “I don’t want to be restricted to my house. I don’t want to be cut away from service.” Instead he lived at church. Fr Augustinos prays the early mass daily in the church. During this lockdown, there are restrictions that force certain areas to have a Covid test every 2-3 days if they need to leave the area for work. You would think that Fr Augustinos would cancel his early masses. Instead, he found a solution. He would sleep in the church until lockdown is finished. Nothing prevents or stops service and ministry. We always push forward and find ways to serve, no matter what.

ONE RANDOM

And finally, the story of the one random, that is, you and I. The random is each of us. What am I doing with my life? The 5 loaves and 2 fish story began in a deserted place. The deserted place that we read about in the Gospels became transformed with service. This is how our lives change.

A beautiful story is born when service enters. Our life will always feel empty if we do not have a service or ministry. Service is the flavour of life. If all I’m doing is working and providing for my family; eating, sleeping, enjoying myself then I will never be at peace. Our hands need to be involved in service. Your hands need to be reaching out to those in need. Your heart must be outstretched toward our Lord. Then, there is peace.

The coldness of the world is then replaced with joy. In these days we are living, let us ask ourselves, “what am I doing with my life? How am I serving? I must be doing something.”

Every Sin Covered

Translated from a sermon by Fr Daoud Lamei

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Let us give thanks to the gracious and merciful God for He has covered us…

It is God’s will for us to thank Him, and in particular for covering us. How many of us truly acknowledge that God covers us? And what does it mean to be covered?

There are many meanings to covering. Covering us when we are in distress, when we are in danger, when hope is lost. But the most important of these is covering our sins.

Sometimes we overlook that our sins are indeed covered, but if we ask God to continually cover our sin, we remember the price of our sins. Believe me, if we all knew each other’s secrets, no one would be able to love another. No one would have any respect for another.

Who knows all our secrets, all our weakness, all our sin and loves us the same? That is our Lord! Covering us is all in His Nature. He lifts us all up before others, because we are already covered.

The church instils the richness of this phrase from the very start of our prayers – for You have covered us. Only Christ sees all the shame. If people saw even a quarter of the shame of one another, they could not stand to look at one another. How many of us thank God for covering us? For all the sins that were covered, and will be covered so that in the eyes of men there is no sin remaining.

Shouldn’t we thank God for covering us? Think of someone that took the fall for you even just once, would you not feel indebted to that person? How much more should we thank the One that covers all our sin?

For in the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavilion

Psalm 27:5

I was like a naked man that finally found covering from the shame of nakedness, this is how the Lord covers my sin. Humankind is always being covered by God. When Adam and Eve committed the first sin and saw their nakedness, God immediately covered them.

He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea

Micah 7:19

God stomps on the shame of sin, takes it throws it in the water and it is no more. There is no sin. No matter what it is, it is gone. You will not find it again. We’re happy now that He has paid the price and the sin is gone. No matter the sin or how bad it is. There is nothing left to hold on to with sin. He has mercy, He tramples on our sins and they are gone forever.

When we consider this in light of God’s will – does this now make sense? When we thank Him for everything it is to acknowledge that He covers us. For everything, we have a reason to thank Him. Believe me, you thank Him for the problems, the tribulations, the hardships but above all, we must thank Him for covering us.

Thank God for tribulation and hardships alike. Even though this does not make sense to thank for these things, but through prayer, it makes sense that this is all a gift, a spiritual gift that we are eternally thankful for.

When we give thanks for hardships and tribulations, then we are blessed for these are the most difficult to give thanks for. Those tribulations are what pushed us to go through the narrow gate. Without which, we may not have found it.

For the spiritual being, the hardest time for any person become the most glorious. When I truly believe in this, I can honestly say to my Lord, “I know You are not capable of any wrongdoing and You do not make mistakes. You are the Benefactor, there is no blemish within You. When You give me hardship and tribulation it is for my good. When You don’t answer my prayers the way I want You to, it is even better. When I feel that You are punishing me, that is what is required for my salvation. I could not be saved by any other means.” 

…and this in itself, becomes reason to give thanks.

When the day comes and you feel that He is being harsh, you can look back and remember that this is for your good. He is the physician of our souls and He will do what is best for the human condition. In the end, thanksgiving will be our complete nature, perfected in Him. This is God’s complete will – that thanksgiving in all conditions becomes normal.

There will be trials, but we need to learn how to apply these words in our actions. Every hour that you are awake, thank God at least once. It won’t take a second. With every action, thank God. When you drink water, Thank God. When you get in the car, thank God. When you open the door of your house, thank God. When you get to your destination, thank God. In this, thanksgiving becomes the basis of every action. We begin to see how much of our shame He truly covers, sometimes even before we realise it.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him

Colossians 3:17

Thanksgiving is the ultimate command. Everything you do and say is covered in thanksgiving.

Climbing the Tower of Virtue

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Yacoub Magdy

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Psalm 119:1-2, Matthew 18:1-9

The Church Fathers arranged the readings so that every Sunday Gospel is directed towards Jesus. The Gospel points to the Saint of the day for every other day of the week. The attached Psalm generally points to a specific verse of the Gospel.

Blessed are the undefiled in the way, Who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart!

Psalm 119:1-2

When we consider this verse with the topic of the Gospel, we see the disciples discussing who is the greatest among them. The culture of Jews stated that when they sat together, they would sit in order of importance. The one on the far left would be the least important.

The disciples thought they could take this custom and apply it to the Kingdom of Heaven. If this is how they would sit of earth, would they sit in the same way in heaven? Our Lord did not like this question.

Virtue can be compared to the height of a tower. We look the heights of the tower and the greatest of virtue that we wish to attain. Sometimes we forget the foundation of this tower. Christ’s answer to the disciples alludes to the foundation of virtue, upon which, nothing else can prosper.

Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:2-4.

Be like children. The foundation of all virtue is found in humbling ourselves as children. If you cannot be like a child, then there is no foundation for virtues.

This is the complete opposite of what the world teaches us. The foundations that are built upon in the world are glory, knowledge and intelligence.

The Lord wants us to begin building by first being as children. How can we do this? Children accept anything that is put before them. Children sit and when they are asked to move, they do not receive this with insult, but do as they are told in obedience.

I prefer to have little knowledge and moderate intelligence and have the innocence of a child, than to have great intelligence and great knowledge so that I feel that I may above others.

Thomas A. Kempis.

What is the foundation for a holy life? Every time I catch myself with a desire to show off my knowledge or status, then I remember that this is the opposite of what our Lord teaches us. We do not ask for great talents from the Holy Spirit but the fruit of virtue that will bring us closer to Christ. Above all is the simplicity of children.

During my ordination, there were another three priests from Australia with me. HH Pope Shenouda III thought it would be good for us to see the monasteries. Some of those ordained with me had been born and raised in Australia and had not seen much of Egypt before. They did not know the culture of monastic life. Pope Shenouda prepared six months of travel around the Egyptian monasteries.

Fr Fanous was one of the monks that was visited during this time. They expected much wisdom and teaching that they would learn from him. They took pens and papers and were prepared to hear from him. Instead, they spent a few hours with him, laughing and playing games. At the end of this, he said that he was busy and had to leave.

The spiritual life is for the simple. Spiritual life does not need to complicated. It does not need great displays of intelligence. Simply, the joy and innocence of children is key to the heart of our Lord.

Locked Down? Look Up!

By Marc Eskander

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July 2021, Sydney Australia. 
Midway through the Apostles Fast. 
It seems like deja vu that we are here again; finding ourselves in the midst of another strict lockdown, tackling the ever-present issue of the coronavirus. 

A year ago, the future looked bright and hopeful. We were emerging from our first major lockdown, new infections were low or non-existent, and it seemed like the worst of it was over. That was partly true, but as the year went on, spikes in infections brought on by lapses in quarantine or infection control would once again bring on restrictions or lockdowns.

Analysing the past 12 months, an interesting pattern emerged (well in Sydney, Aus anyways). These restrictions and lockdowns seemed to occur during major fasts and feasts. 

Lent 2020, Apostles Fast 2020, Nativity Fast 2020, Apostles Fast 2021…

This could very well just be a coincidence since these times also coincide with school holidays, but coincidence or not…one can’t help but wonder if there’s something to pay attention to here. It is interesting to examine the history of our church and especially in its moments of imprisonment and restrictions. 

Undoubtedly the greatest of these is St Paul. He is recorded to have been imprisoned three times, and a bulk of his literary work came during these imprisonments.  It is extraordinary to behold the language in these Epistles when read in the context of someone in chains, beaten, suffering and awaiting execution. On their own, the epistles bring hope and joy to the reader, but they take on a whole different meaning when the context of their author and the surroundings is understood. 

Take the second Epistle to Timothy for example, written near the end of St Paul’s life:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel…

To the Colossians:

 We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of your love for all the saints; because of the hope which is laid up for you in heaven

Colossians 1:3-5

For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding…

Colosians 1:9

I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church

Colossians 4:2

To the Philippians: 

“But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ.”

Philippians 4:6

For St Paul, it is evident in his writings here, that his experiences in jail have brought about a deep sense of conviction and spirituality that has emboldened and strengthened not just his own faith, but of those he served. 

When we read a verse such as Phil 4:6 and are commanded to be anxious for nothing, we should understand that this is coming from someone who had the very existence of his life to be anxious for, not a University exam. He could not guarantee his survival the next day. I am not attempting to minimise our problems in the 21st Century, but instead magnify the peace of God. If St Paul, in chains, at times shipwrecked, stoned, beaten, experienced the surpassing peace of God, then we should be confident of the same in our much more comfortable and stable lives. 

Another key feature of St Paul’s writings in this time is the introduction of every writing with thanksgiving and the mention of constant and unceasing prayer. Asceticism, when mixed with solitude, is powerful. A key ingredient of any ascetic practice is focus and attention to what you are doing. In our modern day lives, this is admittedly a difficult thing to achieve. Even St Paul would’ve experienced distractions in his daily ministry; the problems of the churches, his physical ailments and survival, the attacks from enemies etc…in Prison…while they didn’t disappear, he was allowed a time to turn his attention to God, which in turn energised his love for the Church. 

In his unceasing prayer, he found tears and comfort in praying for the faithful. He found fulfilment in rejoicing in his sufferings, knowing that he was participating in the sufferings of Christ for the sake of His Church. He found purpose in his mission, knowing that the chains offered a medium through which he preached the word of Christ. 

It is very clear from the Epistles that St Paul’s sufferings have been transformed to a fountain of grace and blessing not only for his own “race set before him”, but for his ministry to the world. For St Paul, to suffer is to share in the sufferings of Christ, and for a follower of Christ, this is the ultimate goal. 

If we dare to imitate Christ, this is a calling to participate in the crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord. There would have been no impact from His ministry, healings, or words if not crowned by the Crucifixion and Resurrection. St Paul lived this in every single way possible. In perseverance of prayer and thanksgiving in the midst of a dark and lonely prison, in accepting his own weakness in order for the strength of Christ to be made perfect through him, in his joyful acceptance of every single tribulation that befell him, knowing that “they have turned out for the furtherance of the gospel.” To add to that, not only was his acceptance of tribulation joyful, it drove him to love his neighbour even more, accepting the lost and the sinner just as Christ did, in recognition of his own beginnings. 

St Paul was truly a man of his and The Word. His life is a manifestation of his words “for to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” He had one guarantee, death, as we all do. Yet Christ transformed this life. St Paul’s time on earth was a life lived fully in the arms of Christ, his joy and purpose fuelled by the love of his Lord and His Word. Yet he lived his life in all joy, love and hope knowing that an even greater, more intimate life with Christ awaited him. That is what the Gospel offers us. The transformation of our current life into a life lived in Christ, and the transformation of our death into eternal life. Living with that in mind, the trials of life, it’s sufferings, setbacks, failures, sin, corruption….they all take on new meaning. A transformed meaning. 

Let us learn from St Paul,  that in whatever state we are in to abide in Christ. If in lockdown, let us learn to pray unceasingly and give thanks, redeeming the time in exchange for a taste of life with our Lord. Let us learn to use our pain in the pursuit of loving others, to treat others with the same measure of immense gentleness and mercy that Christ has poured on us.