Can’t I Just Pray? Joy and Mental Health
By Phoebe Farag Mikhail
Originally seen at Phoebe Farag Mikhail’s blog Being in Community (October 25, 2019)
I’ve been asked, on more than one occasion, if someone experiencing depression can just read my book about joy and feel better—in other words, just read my book rather than see a therapist or take medication.
My short answer has always been no. Anyone who is suffering from clinical depression or other form of mental illness or mood disorder should always seek the professional help of a trained and licensed therapist, counselor and/or psychiatrist. Spiritual books can help, but they are no replacement for visiting a therapist. When my carpal tunnel syndrome flares up, I rub my wrists with holy oil AND take two ibuprofen. It’s not important which one is the cause of symptom relief – they may, in fact, be working together.
And that’s why my longer answer is still no, but a nuanced no.
Spiritual practices that help us experience joy – the experience of giving and receiving sacrificial love, as described in my book, Putting Joy into Practice – can certainly give us an emotional and even physical boost. Many of these practices have been linked scientifically to positive emotional and physical outcomes. See Robert Emmons’ work on thanksgiving, for example, or the various studies showing how helping others increases oxytocin, the “happiness hormone.” Surely, putting joy into practice in an ongoing and consistent way might be good for our both our spiritual health and our mental health.
Social isolation is a proven contributing factor to many forms of mental and physical illness, and community and connection, the kind we experience when giving and receiving hospitality, for example, are proven antidotes to this. We all know that infants who are hugged and snuggled grow more quickly and thrive more than children who are not, even though they may be fed the same amount and offered the same amount of medical treatment. Studies of resilience in adults often point to consistent belonging and participation in a faith community as a positive factor.
In addition, one of the “joy thieves,” or the “passions,” as I describe in my book, is “acedia,” or despondency, a form of spiritual restlessness or apathy. Its symptoms can mirror some symptoms of clinical depression. The line between them, in fact, might not be a hard one. One unchecked, in fact, might lead to another. And thus, we should not treat one without treating the other. Someone experiencing acedia (or “the noonday devil” as the desert fathers and mothers described it) should certainly visit a father of confession, participate in church and community life, pray, fast, reach out to friends and family. These may suffice, but why not also get an appointment with a therapist?
A therapist might be able to help identify if there are symptoms that are more related to an underlying pathology and need additional care. Similarly, someone already being treated for clinical depression or other related illnesses stands only to benefit from the spiritual practices that will help heal the spirit and the soul as medicine heals the body.
Because Ecclesiasticus (the Wisdom of Sirach) is a deuterocanonical book in the Bible, many of us are not familiar with its wisdom. Yet perhaps our hesitance to seek help when we need it – both medical and spiritual – would disappear if we took this wisdom seriously:
My son, in thy sickness be not negligent: but pray unto the Lord, and he will make thee whole. Leave off from sin, and order thine hands aright, and cleanse thy heart from all wickedness. Give a sweet savour, and a memorial of fine flour; and make a fat offering, as not being. Then give place to the physician, for the Lord hath created him: let him not go from thee, for thou hast need of him. There is a time when in their hands there is good success. For they shall also pray unto the Lord, that he would prosper that, which they give for ease and remedy to prolong life.
Wisdom of the Son of Sirach 38:9-14
If this applies to doctors who care for our physical health, how much more so to practitioners who care for our mental health? We are integrated human beings. Our thoughts are linked to our emotions, our emotions to our bodies, our bodies to our spirits. When Christ became incarnate, He took on all of those things.
In the twenty-first century we are now starting to recover from over a century of science and medicine that has attempted to divide our bodies from our minds and souls. “Holistic” and “integrated” medicine are becoming part of mainstream health care vocabulary. We are now recognizing how much our mental health is a complex system that is connected to our physical, emotional and spiritual health. There should be no stigma attached to caring for our emotional and mental health—we should celebrate and encourage this.
On the Fountains of Carrots podcast recently, one of the hosts told the story of a married couple who experienced infant loss. Knowing ahead of time that couples who experience infant loss can also experience troubles in their marriage, they lined up couples’ therapy to help them work through their grief even before they actually experienced troubles in their marriage. They didn’t wait to determine if they would need help or not – they preemptively acted. What a model for us.
In the Coptic Orthodox Litany for the Sick, we pray,
All souls that are distressed or bound, grant them mercy, O Lord; grant them rest, grant them refreshment, grant them grace, grant them help, grant them salvation, grant them the forgiveness of their sins and their iniquities. As for us also, O Lord, the maladies of our souls, heal; and those of our bodies too, do cure. O You, the true Physician of our souls and our bodies, the Bishop of all flesh, visit us with Your salvation.
The healing that God grants is mercy, rest, refreshment, grace, help, salvation and the forgiveness of sins. The absence of these truly affect both our bodies and our souls. And thus we should also never be ashamed to tell our doctors that we are praying and asking our friends and family to pray for us, of asking for a priest to come and anoint us with oil. And when we are suffering from any sort of illness, physical, emotional, mental, we should not deprive ourselves of the help that community can provide.
Let’s erase the stigma of seeking help. The idea that we can live this life alone and conquer all our difficulties—physical, emotional, mental, spiritual—on our own is a dangerous myth. We need each other.
(c) Pheobe Farag Mikhail. Being in Community. Can’t I Just Pray? Joy and Mental Health. Original post – https://beingincommunity.com/cant-i-just-pray-joy-and-mental-health/