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God’s Paintbrush

God’s Paintbrush

by Steven Attalla

When the sun sets on a summers evening, it highlights the sky with numerous colours that generally create jaw dropping moments. When the moon makes an appearance amongst the bright stars, it illuminates the night sky and keeps us staring until our necks become stiff. Putting aside the biblical concept of time, God created the universe in six days but with us, He took nine months. I mean, if God created this amount of beauty within six days, imagine the amount of love and refinement He had while creating us. God truly is amazing, right? Want to know something even more astonishing? When God was creating the world, He put things into place by command but when it came to us, we weren’t made by voice but rather we were made by His hands.

The way we marvel at waterfalls, mountains, storms and all sorts of natural sceneries, God marvels the same way at you. The truth is, God’s love for you is incomparable. If you were given a lifespan of 3 billion years where you (in complete good health) could search the Earth, I can guarantee that you will never come across anyone who will love you as much as God does. Yes, I know it’s something hard to believe. We live in a society where if someone hurts us or betrays us, we’d cancel them out of our lives. It’s the simplest way out. In the process, we begin to build these inner walls and when the next person tries to tell us that they love and care for us, our response is “thank you, next”.

You are valuable in the eyes of God. When King David fell into sin, he repented with an utterance and God put away his sin. When Zacchaeus was exposed to God’s love, he restored fourfold of his goods! When Dimas (the thief crucified with Christ), saw the heart of Christ, he asked Him to remember him when He enters His kingdom and guess what?! In that moment, Christ had accepted him into paradise! This is how precious you are in the eyes of God. You are loved even if you struggle to accept it.

You know, I’ve always wondered why we have lines on the palm of our hands. The common theory about these lines is that they reflect what our personalities are like. Yeah I know, it’s crazy what some people come up with. Although I do confess I once searched it up on Google to find out what my palm would read and I’ve got to admit, after finding out my supposed personality, I was quite disappointed at the way my lines were drawn. But after being exposed to Psalm 139 (my absolute favourite Psalm by the way), my aspect of these lines had changed. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13). After reading this verse, I took another look at my palms and this time, instead of seeing lines, I saw stitches.

Now, I would picture the Creator using the skin as a thread and stitching us up; leaving scars on our hands and feet to remind us of His work.

We’re moulded by God’s hands.

The fingers that ordained the moon and the stars (Psalm 8:3) are the same fingers that trace the outline of our smiles.

He has searched us and He knows us. He knows when we sit and when we rise. He understands our thoughts from afar (Psalm 139:1-2)

He inscribed us on the palm of His hands (Isaiah 49:16)

He always thinks about us. If you were to count the amount of times you have crossed His mind, they would be as countless as the sands on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18)

As a matter of fact, He knows the exact number of hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30)

He has loved us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) and because of this great love, He sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him (1 John 4:9).

Do you see it now? That despite how filthy you may feel or rusty you may be, YOU. ARE. LOVED! Once you slap the paintbrush out of the world’s hands, the truth will varnish your heart and it will become clearer in your eyes. The Truth will set you free from the captivity of this world.

Being Favoured by God

Being Favoured by God

by Fr Daniel Fanous

And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” (Luke 1:26-28) “Rejoice highly favoured one,” or later it says about St Mary that “you have found favour with God.” (Luke 1:30)

What does it mean? These incredible words… that somebody can be favoured by God! That God looks down upon a person and says, “you are favoured by Me.”

Is there anything more important in life than to sit and decide, “I want to pursue the favour of God?” I would love that God looks down and the person that He says, “highly favoured one, the Lord has favoured you.” is me.

What does that word “favoured” mean? In Greek it comes from the word meaning “grace,” and so it literally means that God is favouring somebody or that He extends favour or His grace onto that person. So, either He says with feeling, “I favour that person,” or gives something of Himself to that person – He extends His favour to that person. And so, for St Mary, it could mean that God is inclined towards her, that God sees her in a special light. But moreover, that she could have grace in His eyes.

Listening to these words, how can a human being have grace in the eyes of God? How can a human being, in the face of God, be said to have grace? How can God look down and say that person is special? For God, this is actually the same thing as saying “I see myself in you.” Can you imagine that? Can you imagine God saying to somebody, I see myself in you? Can you imagine the greatest human being… the president, the pope, saying “you know what, you, I see myself in you.” They’re words that are incredibly beautiful, because in saying that, I see grace in you, God said to St Mary “I see myself in you.”

Look at David’s life, God said to Him, “my heart is like your own heart… my heart is yours.” David after he had sinned, chasing after another woman, committing adultery, getting her pregnant and murdering her husband… after all that atrocities, God said to him “my heart is like your own heart,” because after that sin, he repented in such a way, in the Psalms, unlike any other human being.

In Psalm 51 we read that God only requests one thing from us, a broken spirit and a contrite heart (Psalm 51:17) and I can’t know for certain, but I feel by being favoured by God, by having grace in his eyes, having the heart of God, it is only then, like St Mary, we will attain an astounding level of humility. We become disturbed if we think we’re special, we become disturbed if we receive any glory, we become disturbed if people praise us; not because we pretend we haven’t done something good, not because you’re smart and you pretend you’re not smart, not because you’re rich and you pretend you’re not rich, but because I know that these things are due only to God and the glory likewise is due only to God… and not to me.

St Mary was disturbed by the idea that there might be anything special about her. Her humility in the face of all of this is what makes her highly favoured before God. David, even though he committed grave sins in opposition to St Mary who was pure, his repentance, his broken spirit, was equal before the eyes of God. These two qualities are so favoured by God, two things that make God say about us, “I see myself in you… you have grace in My eyes.” They represent the extremes of those who are precious and favoured in the eyes of God.

We often think that only the saints and those who are perfect are precious in the eyes of God, but if you take two children, one who is perfect and yet humble and the other who is not perfect, who is weak, who makes mistakes, but always struggling, always wants to do the right thing, when they does something wrong, straight away come and says sorry, which of those two are more precious in the eyes of the father or the mother? … they are the same. You know, in actual fact, if you ask many parents, the child that is more deficient and weaker, is somehow the one that is more favoured, in my eyes. What then for God? Let us either be like David or Mary, be pure but be humble. Be disturbed at the things that are working for you, because you know that your talents you are not yours, these are things which God has given to you, and never take that glory unto yourself lest you steal God’s glory from him.

Faithful Living in a Faithless Society

Faithful Living in a Faithless Society

by Bethany Kaldas

When a Christian says society is ‘faithless’, they mean godless, or sinful. There is, however, a kind of faithlessness that often goes unacknowledged. A kind of faithlessness that does indeed permeate much of modern Western culture today…a faithlessness we Christians are just as susceptible to as everyone else—perhaps even more so.

To show you what I mean, I’m going to tell you about Percy Jackson. You’ve probably heard of this series of fantasy novels, but if you’re one of the people who enjoyed the series, I can all but guarantee your reaction to the movie adaptations. You might say that the movies did not at all follow the design of the original tales, that they were a betrayal to the design that the author intended, trading the wonderful, unique stories for something lesser to pander to a wider audience…I’ll stop now, but you get the idea. The movies were not faithful to the books. They tried to be something they were not, something other than what their creator had made them to be, out of fear they would not be accepted as they were. You might say, they were faithless.

It’s easy to see in movies. Perhaps too easy to miss in ourselves.

The modern Western world is full of good things—but it is also, in my opinion, a breeding ground for fake personalities. It is only in first world countries where our basic needs are thankfully provided for (for the most part), that we can become so preoccupied with the most trivial of commodities—how we appear to others.

In a world like this, it is easy to forget that how others perceive us is, strangely enough, not a matter of life or death. It has very little survival value, and in and of itself, is neutral regarding our spiritual health.

‘…For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’ – 1 Samuel 16:7

Yet in this society, it is so easy to slip into the selves we’ve built up so that we can shine for other people. Indeed, when wandering the wilderness, it is easier to forge gods of gold than to continue following a God who does not look like what we expect. If we ourselves do not appear as expected, why should those of the wilderness not reject us?

This is faithlessness in one of its most potent and dangerous forms. A faithlessness that is ever more tragic for the Christian than for anyone else, because we know not only the intended design, but the Designer, too.

I would dare to say, that compared to our other conceptions of faithlessness—those of disbelief or sinfulness—this kind is far more devastating to the Christian.

‘As long as we ourselves are real, as long as we are truly ourselves, God can be present and can do something with us. But the moment we try to be what we are not, there is nothing left to say or have; we become a fictitious personality, an unreal presence, and this unreal presence cannot be approached by God.’ -Anthony Bloom, Beginning to Pray

That’s the bottom line. If you are not faithful to yourself—to the person God made you—if you live your life as a lie to please others, even if they are your fellow Christians—you can never meet God. An unreal person cannot commune with the real God.

This notion is presented perfectly in C. S. Lewis’ novel, Till We Have Faces. The novel asks the question we must ask ourselves:

‘How can we meet [God] face to face till we have faces?’

We must recognise that although the world may never be satisfied with who we really are, though it may only want to look at masks forged of gold, God wants to meet us face to face. He will settle for nothing less.

And when we do muster the courage to be faithful to who we were made to be, when we finally cast away the false self we’ve created, we see the person that God created, the person we were so frightened of setting free. We stand in the light of our Creator, fully real, fully exposed—and see what we truly are. And what will we say?

‘I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvellous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.’ – Psalm 139:14

Iron Sharpens Iron

Iron Sharpens Iron

by Amy Saleam

“But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another…” 1 John 1:6 (NKJV).

Fellowship is one of the most commonly used words in Christianity and is pivotal to Christian living. When we hear that term, it reminds us of hanging out after Friday night youth group, having a chat with someone after Sunday liturgy or attending Church events. Of course, the aforementioned activities are beautiful ways of building relationships with fellow Christians and creates a sense of community, however, they only scratch the surface of what fellowship is at its core. Lets dig deeper.

Biblically speaking, fellowship comes from the word koinonia. This means to participate, to share or be in communion with God and fellow Christians. Understanding this reveals that fellowship with one another recognises a common denominator between us, something that links us together – and that is Christ himself. And so if we truly are in fellowship with Christ, we must embrace true fellowship with one another and this involves more than just superficial conversation.

Fellowship amongst Christians entails sharing our own individual experiences with one another and to also participate in experiences together. The purpose of this sharing is to encounter Christ communally, draw and encourage each other to pursue a deeper relationship with Him and support one another in our walk of faith, particularly during hardships and discouragement.

Pray for each other, with each other

Prayer is a key demonstration of Christian fellowship. When we pray, we experience an intimate relationship with God and put before Him our deepest sorrows, thanks, fears and requests. So if we are able to do this for ourselves, we should do so for each other. Since we collectively are the Body of Christ, how can we focus on one part and neglect the other? If you have a rash on both of your arms, do you only treat the one on the right hand and leave the left? Are they not of the same body? Similarly, just as we pray for ourselves and our own struggles, we should pray for one another. We are not just individual Christians who are meant to live our faith alone; rather we are in communion with each other within the Body of Christ. So let us not just consider one part of Christ’s body i.e. ourselves, but pray for the whole Body – our brothers and sisters.

Support one another – build one another

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” Proverbs 27:17.

The principle of sharpening each other does not mean convicting with harsh judgment, but rather to approach others with our humble concern. Many a time this can be difficult as the execution of our concern can rather seem as a criticism, but if we approach one another with compassion and remind ourselves that we are not perfect in our own flesh, but are made perfect in Him, then we are able to approach each other with humility.

The book of Proverbs places onus on each of us to “sharpen” our friend for the purpose of building one another. Over time, an iron tool may become blunt if not constantly sharpened by a second piece of iron and heat. Likewise, when we do not place ourselves in God’s presence daily, our faith may too become blunt and our sense of dependence on Him weakens. Our focus then shifts onto life’s distractions and we become clouded with our burdens and fears. So we see that it becomes the responsibility of the second iron to sharpen the first in order to regain its purpose. Similarly, our walk in faith requires us to be in fellowship with one another so that when one does become spiritually lukewarm and faith is dampened, we can be the second iron for each other.

Hence, we are also prompted to be a friend who sits with others in their darkest days to remind them of and embody Christ’s heart. As we are in koinonia and called to share experiences with each other, we can help carry and lift each other’s burdens and sorrows. Actually when we do so, we half the sorrow and double the joy – and that joy is one which we share in being a part of the Body of Christ. This joy is made evident when we help our brothers and sisters through life’s inevitable valleys. Therefore being in fellowship requires us to place one hand on our friend’s shoulder in this valley, and the other hand pointing to and redirecting their focus to our mountain peak – Christ.

Our sharpening should be motivated by the desire of wanting nothing less than Christ for one another. When a friend is discouraged and experiencing hardship, our fellowship involves us reminding them of God’s truths and making His light apparent during their spiritual winter. When we share this experience with each other, let us remind one another that our hearts are held by Him, and that even when the trees look barren, God is working beneath the soil.

Glory be to God forever. Amen.

No Prophet is Accepted in His Own Country

No Prophet is Accepted in His Own Country

by Michael Sidhom

Recently, I’ve indulged myself in a pleasure all too familiar to all of us: re-watching a movie. Yet travelling through that familiar tale, the highs and the lows are not as deep as they were that first time. And as the protagonist’s betrayal approaches, I can wonder and hope if it might this time somehow be different… But always, I find only disappointment. The film is still the same. Static. Lifeless.

The human person, however, is a far greater mystery.

“Both the inward thought and the heart of man are deep,” writes the Psalmist (Psalm 64:6). Man is no static movie, but an undefinable and indefatigable mystery. Human personhood, like all mysteries of the Church, only get worse when we try to define and limit it. But instead, we experience it. The word ‘person’ derives from the Latin persona, meaning a ‘mask’ and so it is inextricably tied up with relationship. We know, of course, that “it is not good that man should be alone” (Gen 2:18). Following Metropolitan Kallistos Ware, we ought to cast aside the sceptical modern axiom, “I think therefore I am,” and replace it with an ancient faithful one: “I love therefore I am.” For man is intimately related to his fellows. But he is also intimately related to God.

“God is a mystery beyond all understanding,” writes St Gregory of Nyssa. Man, in God’s image, is made to be a partaker of that mystery. But what is it that man is partaking of? What is it that man is an image of? It is the God Who is Trinity. It is a God who is both one, just as man is uniquely one, but also three, in communion as man ought to be. And love is the duct tape that binds them together, the music that encourages the perichoreticdance, the blurring of the three-ness into oneness.

This perfect God is also the perfect Man. And this perfect Man dwelt among us and came to His own but His own did not receive Him. It was the God-man, the final prophet, who was not accepted in His own country. The Jews muttered amongst themselves, “Is this not Joseph’s son?” (Luke 4:22), which is to say, do we not know this Man? Is He not simply just like us? “You will surely say this proverb to Me, ‘Physician, heal yourself!’” (Luke 4:23), which again is to say, you call yourself a doctor but yet you still get sick. You are no different to us. You are just as wretched as we are. Thinking they knew the Man, they put a mask, a persona, on Him, and couldn’t see through it. They said, we have seen this film and won’t see anything new here. And so Jesus “went His way” (Luke 4:30).

What was their crime? Was it not limiting this great mystery, this unfathomable depth and unpredictable capacity, of human personhood? And what is their punishment? They fail then to experience, to enter into, the fullness of the life of Christ. Most tragically of all, it is a crime we commit every day. For insofar as we claim to understand anyone, or think we have ‘figured them out’, we shackle them with their own reputation. We strangle them with our estimation of them. We quench the fires of their mysterious personhood when we say, “Is this not Joseph’s son?” They become that static movie to us with no hope, no power, but instead knowledge of a betrayal.

But yet ancient wisdom once again offers an escape. St Isaac the Syrian writes:

When you meet your neighbour, force yourself to pay them more honour than may be their due. Warm your heart fervently with a holy love for them. Attribute to their person all sorts of virtues, even if they may not apply to them. And when they are absent, speak good and noble things of them. Address them in respectful terms. In this sort of way, not only will you impel them to desire these virtues (since they will be ashamed of their undeserved reputation with which you credit them) and sow in them the seed of good deeds, but you will also find that, by habituating yourself in this way, you will establish in yourself gentle and humble manners, and you will be freed from many tiresome struggles. This should be your attitude towards all people.”

The depth of man opens into eternity and reaches towards God. St Isaac encourages us to look into that depth and find communion, and find God. In this way we need not tire ourselves so much with political philosophy and how best to structure society. But let us tire ourselves instead with the work of God, with loving each and every man as the perfect man has loved us. In this way, when we are weary and heavy-laden at the end of our days, we may come to Him and He will give us rest.

The Sweeter Song

The Sweeter Song

by Nancy Gwany

Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a King and His two daughters, Restriction and Devotion. The King loved His daughters very much and could not go a day without seeing them. Despite all His responsibilities over the Kingdom, He ensured that every day they walked together by the river that flowed through the city. On their walk, the girls would relish in the silence while focusing on the sound produced by the flow of the river stream. Although standing in the presence of their Father was enough, it was the anticipation of the topic of discussion that excited them the most. Each walk was accompanied by a new lesson that often delivered the same message. A message of Truth, Grace, Compassion, Forgiveness, Mercy and Unconditional Love. When the King would speak, they felt as though the river itself would stop to listen to His voice. His voice provided a sense of security and comfort that surpassed all measure. The way each chosen word was delicately strung together made them feel privileged to be in His Presence. The softness in His utterance only emphasized His immeasurable love for them. They continued their walk until they stumbled across the border of the neighbouring city, at which point they would turn around and walk back towards the palace.

The girls often wondered what was beyond that boundary, and both Restriction and Devotion had asked their Father several times. It was always the same answer the King provided: “In due time, you will know.” “Due time” was slowly creeping up. You see, the neighboring town was one that let out a siren song that could only be heard once the children of the Kingdom became of age. The Father spent those daily walks preparing Devotion and Restriction for the time their ears would start picking up those few decibels that could forever alter their life. The siren song was so enticing but provided a false hope, invisible to all listeners. People felt compelled to answer the call and cross the boundary to the neighbouring city, only to be met by Destruction and Disaster. Coming back to the Kingdom was often difficult, although the gates were always open.

The next day, as Restriction and Devotion prepared for their walk with their Father, they sensed that something was different. However, they were reassured as they heard His voice that is “the same yesterday, today, and forever”. He sat them down and finally told them about the city beyond the border of the Kingdom. He told them all about the siren song, the story of those that followed it, and the destruction that was sure to follow if the call was answered. Restriction and Devotion were left with an aching feeling that they too may follow the siren song out of weakness.

Restriction came up with a plan and approached her Father. She asked to be locked in a room until the siren song was over. Although Restriction will still be able to hear the song, being physically constrained, she would not be able to respond to the call. She would remain in the Kingdom; however, she would be forced to give up her daily walk with her Father. Not wanting to impede on the freedom He raised His daughter with, the King reluctantly agreed. Oh how He wanted to warn her, tell her that His Kingdom was a Kingdom of Freedom!

Devotion witnessed her sister’s plan, but she had a different proposal. She shared her plan with her Father and asked for His help, which He joyfully agreed to.

The next few days passed in total silence until one afternoon ‘it’started. Restriction and Devotion started hearing the siren song. Immediately, there was banging and loud aggressive cries’ coming from Restriction’s room. Devotion, however, wasn’t constrained in a room. She quickly looked around in a panic as she felt herself slowly getting pulled towards the siren song. Before she could take the next step, her Father appeared, swiftly picked her up and cradled her in His arms. He whispered to her in an old familiar way. As soon as she heard His voice, the siren song in the background reduced to a low murmur. She focused on the voice she was accustomed to hearing while embracing the comfort of His arms. Just like that, the siren song was no longer a threat. It had become an irrelevant sound in the background compared to the voice of her King, the sweeter song.

Facing Reality (Barriers to Repentance)

Barriers to Repentance 7/7

Facing Reality

by Shery Abdelmalak

If I am accountable to my own standards then I am righteous in my own eyes. Where was this logic adhered to? Judges – a time of utter chaos. By accepting this logic, we choose internal chaos over the healing of repentance, since our sins must first be brought to light before we can be healed.

Humans are creatures of habit and of routine. Change is a scary thing for us all. Sometimes we even prefer to accept our sins than to overcome them. We choose to remain in our human states than to pursue the heavenly. We choose to be waves of the ocean, tossed back and forth, lacking stability and a firm foundation. We must look to be righteous in God’s eyes, and pursuing His standards and not our own.

“I can’t repent because I don’t remember my sins”

Pray to remember. We are held to our own standards and it is our duty to expose our sins for the purposes of overcoming them. To him who knows good and does not do it, to him it is sin (James 4:17). We are not called to live an indifferent life. We are called to sanctification. If those around you do not see a difference between you and others, then something is wrong. Pray for your weaknesses and your sins to be revealed to you. Something as simple as eating a meal would cause tears of repentance in Abba Isidore. He says,“I am ashamed of myself because, being a rational being, I eat the food of an irrational creature; I desire to live in Paradise where I shall enjoy the food that is imperishable.”Abba Isidore knew that there was always something higher than him and repented for things that none of us would classify as sin.

“Spiritual life is too hard. Why do I have to give up so many of things that I love?”

Don’t go looking for weaknesses without first arming yourself with Christ. HH Pope Shenouda III says, “You reveal your weaknesses to obtain power from him. You reveal with regret all your sins, then He will grant you Absolution and forgiveness.” You are choosing to fight a losing battle if you do it alone. If this is the case, then your reluctance is a given. Arm yourself with Christ. Empty yourself and you will be filled with all strength and knowledge to withstand the wiles of the devil.

“But I know myself. I know how God made me. I can’t change that.”

If this does not implore you to repentance then how could you truly know yourself? If you knew yourself, you would recognise your worth can only come from the One that dwells within. Delve deeper and see your true self. It makes no sense by human logic that looking for flaws could be joyful but God doesn’t play by our rules. In Him, our weaknesses are turned into perfect strength.

A monk once asked the Abbot of the monastery to pray for him as he was struggling to overcome the devil. The abbot then spoke to the devil about this monk…

“Please go easy on this servant. He is struggling greatly with the temptations you have you put before him.”

“Who? I haven’t been anywhere near him.”

There are two keys things to note from this interaction.

The monk that claimed he was fighting against the devil was really fighting his own will.
The abbot of the monastery was in communication with the devil. He had a relationship with the devil.

The fight against the devil will only commence when we fight against our own wills and desires. Otherwise, the devil will not waste his time on you. The true tragedy in our spiritual lives is when the devil makes no effort to fight us at all. Only when our weaknesses and sins are given over to God in true repentance, will the devil ever validate our spirituality by giving us any form of challenge in temptation.

To have a relationship with God is one thing, to have a relationship with the devil is a whole new level. When the Jews saw the works of St Paul and St Peter that even their handkerchiefs and aprons were enough to heal the sick and exorcize evil spirits, they began to imitate their actions.

“We exorcise you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches!”

“Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?” The devils answered, before overpowering them and prevailing against them so that they fled out of the house naked and wounded (Acts 19:15).

The devil will only make himself known to those who fight in repentance to be near to our God.

St Athanasius recounts the struggles St Anthony faced during his time in the desert;

“Straightaway phantasms of this kind caused a phantom earthquake, and they tore apart the four corners of the house, and entered into it in a body from all sides. One had the form of a lion, another had the appearance of a wolf, another was like a panther, and all the others were in the forms of serpents, vipers, and scorpions. The lion was roaring as a lion roars when he is about to slay; the bull was ready to gore him with his horns; the panther was prepared to spring upon him; and the snakes the vipers were hissing.”

Reading this, knowing would be more than enough to scare anyone away from a life of spiritual struggle. Not for the one that is filled with Christ. At this moment, he laughed. St Athanasius continues, “The blessed man Anthony was not disturbed by their commotion, and his mind remained wholly undisturbed.”

St Anthony was filled completely with Christ, even to the very cells that comprised his being. He was not his own. He belonged wholly and completely to Christ. He had the authority of Christ trample under foot serpents and scorpions and all the power of the enemy.

The devil doesn’t fight fair. Lucky for us, neither does God. For while we were still sinners, He died upon the Cross for our salvation (Romans 5:8). How could routine ever compare to a life with Christ? Let us pray to overcome routine and face the reality of our weaknesses so that Christ may dwell in our hearts and minds. Glory be to God forever, Amen.

Humus

Barriers to Repentance 6/7

Humus

by Shery Abdelmalak

How long O’ Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will my enemies triumph over me? (Ps 13:1)When will the pain stop? I have cried out night and day before You. My soul is full of trouble and my life is drawing near to the grave (Ps 88:3).In the darkness, in the depths, I cry out to You. I tried so hard, God. Why can’t anyone see that? Nothing is working. Why won’t You answer me? How could you leave me like this?

It is the psalms of King David that revealed the depth of despair and sadness. King David felt pain and turned it over to God. For the moments that he stopped looking down and looked up to God, he found comfort. He realised that he was dust, but dust that was carried in the mighty Hands of our God.

This is the means of overcoming one’s ego and pursuing Christ. Humus, from the Latin word, soil, is what we strive for, nothing more, nothing less. To know that from dust I came and to dust I shall return. I am what I am, period. How can you put so much emphasis on dust?Humble yourself before the Lord and He shall lift you up (James 4:10).

It isn’t always that simple though. When trials come our way, it becomes difficult to look at anything beyond myself. From dust I came, and from dust I shall return – this is not a matter of self-depreciation but the ultimate comfort. All the stress, the worry, the anxiety, goes away when I can put things into perspective. It no longer becomes my problem, but His – in His Hands in put all my worries.

The struggles of this life can often be looked upon with angst and doubt. Rest assured, as Fr Seraphim Rose once said, “Suffering is an indication of another Kingdom which we look to. If being Christian meant being “happy” in this life, we wouldn’t need the Kingdom of Heaven.”Do not lose hope during trials, these are key to faith and salvation!

What can develop during times of tribulation is what Fr Daniel Fanous calls an obsession with me. This is comprised of three main parts:

One’s thoughts being central to self
An ignorance toward those around one’s self
Being stuck in one’s own thought world

To be in this state is often neglected as a legitimate concern. While other spiritual problems are targeted much sooner, the ego poses a problem that is not easily overcome because of a lack of recognition. Repentance cannot even begin when I am so focused on me. Overcoming feelings of depression, anxiety and all other spiritual related causes that weigh us down is vital to returning to God through repentance.

For this, Fr Daniel Fanous lists some strategies;

A sustained and intentional effort. We all fall along the spectrum of egotism. Recognise your position and fight to overcome.
Seek help, with organic causes and hormonal changes as these are beyond the realm of spiritual healing alone.
Develop a strong relationship with your confession father. Make him accountable for the sins you commit. Open yourself up to him fully and be open to correction
The centre of the battle lies in your thoughts. Fight to overcome all thoughts, even those that seem harmless. This will allow you to grow in discipline also.
Cultivate an attitude of service that is willing and actively seeking opportunities to serve at all times.
Actively decrease so that God may increase. Do not speak of yourself regardless of whether this is positive or negative.
Cultivate joy and peace in not only your thoughts, but in those whom you choose to surround yourself with.
Pray using the Agpia. Prayer that is unguided is likely to fall in the traps of self-obsession.

When we learn to overcome ourselves, this is the greatest joy. We are not the centre of our own lives, Jesus is. I must decrease so that He may increase (John 3:30), and in so doing, our joy is made full.

Sometimes our perception of joy is skewed. Sometimes we chase happiness over joy. For whatever void presents, we fill it with momentary pleasures. While I may see nothing wrong with momentary pleasures and things that make me happy, but it is the underlying basis that causes the greatest harm. True joy stems for union with those around us. If hell is likened to complete separation from those around us, then eternal joy can be likened to unity.

St Macarius the Great was walking in the desert and found a skull lying on the ground. He poked it with his stick and it spoke saying,

“As far as the sky is removed from the earth, so great is the fire beneath us; we are ourselves standing in the midst of the fire, from the feet up to the head. It is not possible to see anyone face to face, but the face of one is fixed to the back of another. Yet when you pray for us, each of us can see the other’s face a little. Such is our respite.”

The greatest glimpse of joy in hell is when a person sees another. To be in hell is to be stuck in one’s self and have no interaction with those around them. To be consumed with one’s ego while on earth is to fall into the same torment that exists below. When the disciples of St John the Baptist came to him and told him all about Christ who was stealing his glory, his response was simple,

“He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I mustdecrease.”(John 3:29-30)

To choose a simple life as a friend of the Bridegroom is to live a joyful life. To live life grounded – humus. In humility is the foundation of all virtuous fruits. Love, joy, peace, long-suffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, long suffering – all start with humus.

What were once prayers of despair and worthlessness are overshadowed with something much greater as He makes us whiter than snow.

I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation (Ps 13:5).For who in the heavens can be compared to the Lord? Who among the sons of the mighty can be likened to the Lord? God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, And to be held in reverence by all those around Him (Ps 89:6-7).I found the one I love. I held him and would not let him go, (Song of Solomon 3:4). I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me (Song of Solomon 7:10).

Glory be to God forever, Amen.

In the Tomb

Lead me to the Cross

In the Tomb

by Andrew Massiha

So you’ve probably just came out of the Good Friday service, ready to smash down anything you can get your hands on after not eating the whole day. The holiest week has come down to this. Abouna leaves us with the final psalm, “I lay down and slept.” What next? How do I sustain my spiritual life?

Let’s go back one step, to the final church rite on Good Friday which is the burial of Christ.The burial begins with the deacons singing the famous hymn, ‘Golgotha.’The tune of this beautiful hymn originates from the times of the pharaohs and this was the tune they used to bury their kings with. The church, in its wisdom, combines our heritage with our faith and uses this tune in the burial of Christ with words which explain the events that have taken place on Good Friday. Whilst the hymn is being chanted, Abouna has prepared before him a white cloth filled with red rose petals and an icon of the burial. He places the icon of the burial on the flower peddles and then puts fragrances and spices and wraps the cloth. He then places two candles or lamps on either side to symbolise the angels that were present at the burial, one at the Head of Christ and one at the feet.

So now that we know the events that have just taken place, what can we, as Christians, make of all this?

The first thing we ought to do is understand the significance of what a burial is. We know that a burial is the time when someone is put to rest as they have departed from this world. The weight of our sin has been lifted so we bury our sin and await our resurrected form in Christ our Saviour. The old has passed away and He is making a new creation out of us all. He is willing and able to change our sinfulness into righteousness, depending on what we are prepared to let go of. This Good Friday, what are you still holding on to? What stands in the way of you and theresurrection? During this time of burial, we must strive to hear the voice of our Lord saying, “Arise, go your way; your faith has made you well”(Luke 17:19).

We make a choice at thetime of burial. Do we choose to remain in the death of the tomb, with our sin, or do we strive for the glorious resurrection to come? We can leave Good Friday at, “I lay down and slept,”or we can strive to rise and carry on –“I awoke for the Lord sustained me!”

Let us therefore strive to leave the tomb with Christ,with our sins buried,and with our hearts filled with joy because the sin of man has been conquered and death has been destroyed!

The burial is the time that Christ overcomes the perils of sin. Those three days are crucial. For starters, if Christ was to immediately rise there would be speculation of whether He had diedor not. Beyond this, there is aprocess that our Lord completed before the resurrection could occur.During this time, Jesus firstenters Hadesand defeats Satan, taking with Him the souls of the righteous. We were finally able to enter His Eternal Kingdom.

We need to remember the process that Jesus took so that we cannot be so harsh on ourselves when we are trapped by a certainsin. Sometimes,we may have the perception that if we pray, if we fast,if we do 500 metanias, the sin will HAVE to go away. This is not always the case. There is a process. Just as Christ had to go through a process in Hades to defeat the devil and all his traps set against us, we too,as Christians should learn a key lesson from this, that is, to understand the sin that I am fighting will take time to overcome. There will be ups and downs, but I have assurance in that Christ conquered death and the devil so there will be victory, no matter how unlikely in seems in the moments of shame of sins committed and repeated.

Good Friday gives us the extra push we need to leave our sins on the Cross and be made new. The questionsI must ask myself are, at the completion of Good Friday, has all holiness departed from me? If your final day is tomorrow, would you be prepared to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? Are you spiritually ready to depart from thisworld just as Christ was ready, or is there something in this world still holding you back? Our Salvation came at a price. Time and effort for genuine repentance and prayer are what is required of me to be prepared for the resurrection that follows the burial.The resurrection is so close now and we must be sure that we rise a new creation!

May the burial of Christ remind us of the love God has for us, that He was willing to die on the Cross, rescue us from Hades and give us salvation through His Blood, to complete His creation, that is, you and me alike.

Good Friday

Lead me to the Cross

Good Friday

by Bethany Kaldas

‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’

Genesis 2:24

When we think of Good Friday, we do not tend to think of it as…well, good. The closest we come is in acknowledging the fact that it is because of the Crucifixion that we have been saved from sin. But even so we do it in a sombre, regretful tone, the same way we talk about the deaths of soldiers on a battlefield. We shed tears for a horrific and tragic event that happened to Somebody else, a long time ago, very far away.

But Good Friday is about as far from the commemoration of a terrible misfortune as you can get. It is not a commemoration at all. Good Friday is the resolution of the greatest love story in all Creation. And it did not merely happen. It is happening to us.

It is a story that begins with the fitting words, ‘In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.’ (Genesis 1:1). The world is created—marvels upon marvels that had yet to be seen in the universe! Substance where there was once nothing! Light in a cosmos which had been blind! Water to a land that had never tasted a drop! Living creatures of boundless forms inhabiting a once lifeless world! Each day something more and more wonderful!

…And yet it was incomplete.

Then came the sixth day of Creation, and something… Different happens.

‘Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.”’

Genesis 2:26

We know this story well. This is the creation of the first humans. But this is not just some distant tale about Adam and Eve. This is the beginning of us.

As Fr John Behr puts it, this is the announcement of God’s own project—humanity—a project that, unlike His other countless wonders, ‘is not completed by His word alone’ (Becoming Human, p. 35). God has said that humanity is to be in His ‘image and likeness’ (Genesis 1:26), and yet the creature that is formed of the dust falls away. Broken and confused, mankind comes to barely resemble the Being it was made after. Of all of Creation, humanity is the only work which is begun but not yet finished.

Fr John goes on to claim that through all of history, from the sixth day of Creation, not one human being has been seen on Earth. Until Good Friday. Until the Creator Himself came down to His Creation, and hanging on the Cross, on the verge of death, declared with utter finality:

‘It is finished.’

John 19:30

And finally, the sixth day of Creation comes to its end.

Good Friday is the day we are completed. It is the day we become the glorious Bride of Christ. It is the day we become the Church—we finally fulfil that image and likeness we were made for. This when we become the True Eve, who is to the True Adam, ‘of His flesh and of His bones’ (Ephesians 5:30). With the sacrificial death of the first True Human in all the universe, Christ Himself, human kind is finally born and finally united with Her Creator.

‘Thus the day of Jesus’ crucifixion is His wedding day, when He, the new Adam, is ‘joined to His wife’, the Church, in an everlasting marriage covenant.’

Brant Pitre, Jesus the Bridegroom

But it is not enough to know this happened—we must see that it is happening.

In his book, Jesus the Bridegroom, Brant Pitre describes Christ’s sacrifice in this way:

‘Jesus is united with His bride through the sacrifice of His own flesh and blood, poured out literally on Calvary and then miraculously in the sacraments of the Church.’

Whenever we partake of the Eucharist, we are participating in the very same sacrifice that was given on that Cross, the Cross we too often feel is only a distant historical event to be commemorated in ritual.

But it is even more than that. Through this sacrifice, the sacrifice that birthed humanity and wed us to our Maker, we see a reality that the saints before us realised centuries ago. An uncomfortable reality, perhaps, captured so perfectly in Romans 6:8: ‘Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him.’ It is the reality that we can only live if we first die.

We see this reality portrayed most potently in examples such as Saint Ignatius of Antioch. In his letters, he begged his friends not to do anything that might prevent his martyrdom. He pleads to them with all sincerity, ‘Do not hinder me from living.’ He realised that one cannot really have a life by trying to preserve it for oneself—true life comes through unity with Christ, and that through death with Christ.

Martyrdom seems like a radical idea to the modern, western mind—and by no means am I suggesting that we cannot be real, living Christians unless we hop on a plane and find someone who will kill us for our beliefs. We need not travel so far for martyrdom. For true martyrdom is not mere physical death, but the sacrifice of one’s whole self for the sake of Christ.

‘Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self.’

C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

And it is in this that we find the goodness of Good Friday.

God’s greatest work—the human race, the Church, His Bride—was completed and wed to Him through the voluntary sacrifice of His whole self. In precisely the same way, we can only be wholly ourselves—that most glorious creature, that image and likeness of God—if we give our whole selves away for His sake.

Good Friday is not a commemoration of a tragic event. Good Friday is when we find life in the giving up of life, when we die with Him in order to live with Him.

‘Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.’

Romans 7:4