Fr Mark’s Top 5 Tips to Avoid Judgement
Adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily
Reading Luke 6:27-38
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” – Luke 6:37.
Such a simple approach to passing through judgement, yet this causes us to wonder, what is judging?
St Paul defines judgement during the end time saying, “Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts” – 1 Corinthians 4:5.
St Paul is saying that we cannot judge anything before it’s due time. The time will be due when the Lord comes in the end times. Christ is the judge and He is the One that brings forth to light the hidden things of darkness and reveals the counsels of the hearts.
To judge is to expose the heart of somebody. Who could ever expose the heart of another? For us to judge one another, we are taking the place of God. We assume that we can expose the heart of another. At its core, to judge somebody is to elevate one’s self above another. We cannot judge, as we are not God and do not know what dwells in the hearts of others.
When we begin to judge another, we are in a state of confusion. There are five key confusions that cause us to judge others wrongly.
CONFUSING YOURSELF WITH ANOTHER PERSON
I can see myself as an individual. The lens that I view others in is skewed by what is inside me. When I judge someone, I begin to notice flaws in my own character. We can use these thoughts of judgement as a mirror of what is going on inside of me. We see what we are.
A man lived in a large apartment block that was parallel to another apartment block. One night he was looking outside his window and could see inside the window of another apartment. As looked into the adjacent lounge room, he was struck by what he saw in that lounge room. He thought to himself, “why don’t they get a new couch? It’s so old and falling apart. Why don’t they at least clean it? How would you even sit on it?”
Soon he realised, it wasn’t actually a window that he was look into, but a mirror – a reflection – of his own living room. He never realised his own couch was a mess until he thought it was somebody else’s. We do the same thing when we look at the lives of other people in a judgemental way, not realising that what we are seeing is a reflection of our own weaknesses and flaws. We can use our judgement to self-reflect of what is deeply hidden inside of us.
WISHING OTHERS WOULD CHANGE
If I look to my spouse or my children and I see something in them that I wish they would change. My colleagues at work annoy me and I wish they would change the way they do things. Society is a mess, and we wish they would change their views. Alas, we shouldn’t confuse the order of change. Change doesn’t begin with others, it begins with me. I am the one that needs to be changing.
An Anglican bishop wanted the following inscribed on his tombstone, “when I was young and free, my imagination had no limits and I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older, I discovered the world would not change. I decided to shorten my sights and decided to change only my country, but it seemed immovable. As I entered my twilight years, I settled for changing only my family. Alas, they would have none of it. Now, as I lie on my death bed, I realise, if only I changed myself first then by example, I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country, and who knows, maybe even the world.” Change begins with one’s self. We shouldn’t worry about changing others, but to focus on what I can do.
CONFUSING EARTHLY BEAUTY WITH SPIRITUAL BEAUTY
We often assess things by their earthly beauty and appeal. We need to look deeper and assess their spiritual beauty. We are all created in God’s image. Christ saw the beauty in all – the criminals, the prostitutes and the sinners alike. Christ sees the beauty in me, too.
When we are dealing with anybody, we can look deeper for the beauty within, for we know it is there according to the image of Christ. We cannot let our eyes search for the wrong, but for the beauty.
There was a monk visiting the cells of the other monks. He enters one that is clean and tidy and organised. He is so impressed and thinks this monk must be so holy, organising his spiritual life the same way he organises his cell. He visits another monk’s cell and sees a mess, nothing in its rightful place. He thinks, “wow, this monk must be so holy, he pays no attention to the things of this world, he must be so fixated on his spiritual life.” The monk was able to find beauty despite opposing conditions.
CONFUSING PROCESS WITH FULFILMENT
When we judge someone, we can sometimes act like that this how a person will always be – this is there end. All of us are on a journey, we are going through a process. A person may have a certain weakness now, but this is just a part of their journey. Every masterpiece takes time. Imagine judging an artist’s work before it is complete, with rough edges, uneven lines, a face without all its features. What a mess. The artist would tell you to wait, they’re not finished yet, this all part of the process. When we judge someone in the middle of their life, we must wait, they are a masterpiece that is not yet completed.
St John Climacus once said, “Do not condemn, even if you see with your eyes, for they are often deceived.”
CONFUSING ACTION WITH ESSENCE
Until the Lord comes, the hidden will be brought to light. This is the essence of someone. We deal with people that disappoint us, we judge and we condemn, without understanding the essence of that person.
There is more than just do not judge and you won’t be judged, but there is more in a reward. “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you” – Luke 8:38.
The reward is equal to what we give. I hate when you buy a drink and they fill it with so much ice that the drink is finished after only a few sips. Now I ask for no ice, so I can enjoy it fully. The measure of ice is so tight that it consumes the space for the drink. We give in the same way. We forgive, but we forgive with ice. We give to each other, but with ice. God is telling us to remove the ice. Remove the coldness. God can give us in abundance, but we must also give in abundance.