Our Greatest Error
By Bethany Kaldas
‘Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,
Psalm 143:8
For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
For I lift up my soul to You.’
What do you think the greatest pitfall of Christians today is? That’s probably too broad a question, but try to think about it. Is it that we’re too insulated? Or perhaps we’re becoming too secular? Or that we are compromising our morals and traditions too much—or not enough?
Admit it, modern Christians have their problems. We’re confused by the world we live in, and it can be difficult to see what’s a genuine problem and what is simply a sign of growth. But there is one mistake we make all too frequently that I think has gone neglected in the face of the flashier problems in modern Christianity. It’s a subject we tend to mention a lot—but I don’t think it’s something we live. It’s the foundation of every Sundayschool answer ever, and yet, how many of us actually believe it, if we’re really being honest with ourselves?
It is my humble opinion that our greatest error as Christians is not that we are not yet perfect in virtue, but that we all too often forget that God actually loves us. I speak of myself first, of course.
It’s a surprisingly easy thing to forget when the world seems constantly to tell us otherwise. When people snap at you at work, when nobody seems to appreciate your efforts, when you feel unwelcome in your own home or discover that people you once thought were friends or at least trusted companions did not feel the same way about you. When the world rejects you, it’s easy to start rejecting yourself and believe that you simply don’t meet the standards of love.
‘I kept running around it in large or small circles, always looking for someone or something able to convince me of my Belovedness.
Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved”. Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence.’
It’s important to realise that, now more than ever, our society is basically founded on dissatisfaction—dissatisfaction with what you have, where you are, and—worst of all, perhaps—who you are. The world will tell you you’re not good enough—but not because it knows anything about you. It says this because it wants something from you. In this sense, the world will only ever take from you—it will never give anything back. It will drain you and drain, more and more, until there is very little of you left. The world fills your head with voices that tell you that if you just do one more thing you’ll finally feel loved. But it never delivers. It only gets worse.
‘Those same voices are not unfamiliar to me. They are always there and, always, they reach into those inner places where I question my own goodness and doubt my self-worth. They suggest that I am not going to be loved without my having earned it through determined efforts and hard work. They want me to prove to myself and others that I am worth being loved, and they keep pushing me to do everything possible to gain acceptance. They deny loudly that love is a totally free gift. I leave home every time I lose faith in the voice that calls me the Beloved and follow the voices that offer a great variety of ways to win the love I so much desire.’
Henri J.M. Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son
We do too much to try and prove that we are worth something—many sins are founded in our insecurity that we are not beautiful, we are not worthy of affection or time or admiration, that we are not lovable.
But the world does not know you, it does not care about you, it will never love you, no matter what you do. So why do we expect it to give us any assurance, any security?
‘Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.’
1 John 3:1
The reality of God’s love for us is not just something we tell children to comfort them. It is not something we tell ourselves for the sake of comfort, either. The love of God is not there to make you comfortable (in fact, in this world, it might have the opposite effect). God’s love for us is the foundation of Christian life, it is the reason for anything and everything we believe in. And when I say this, I am not referring to some general blanket of love thrown over the world by some impersonal force of divine love. Divine love is never impersonal.
‘He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.’
C. S. Lewis
‘You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved. Approach him and be at peace.’
Charles Spurgeon
But forgetting that God loves you has consequences that go beyond your own well-being.
‘We love Him because He first loved us.’
1 John 4:19
Loving God at all is only possible when you realise that God has loved you first. From before your birth, from the beginning of time, the Creator of the universe—the One who made countless galaxies, dazzling cascades, glistening mountain peaks and vast oceans—still thought that His world was incomplete without you in it. We have no love in and of ourselves—we are too weak for this—our love for God can only ever be a small offshoot of the unfathomable love He has for us, the same love that whispers to you in every breeze, ‘It is My joy that you are here.’
‘This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.’
John 15:12
And if we are unable to love God without acknowledging His love for us, then how could we ever love others? There is an indescribable beauty to that moment—that moment when you realise that God’s love for you—an infinitely powerful and unique love—frees you from all those insecurities and doubts and resentments that hindered your love for your neighbour. Because realising that God loves you—and loves you the most—does not in any way minimise His love for those around you. And those whom God loves, we too can love. We can show them, too, that they are children of the Most High, beautiful, unique and priceless in the eyes of the One who brought them forth from the dust. But to be able to show this wonderful truth to others, we must first believe it about ourselves.
‘When we claim and constantly reclaim the truth of being the chosen ones, we soon discover within ourselves a deep desire to reveal to others their own chosenness. Instead of making us feel that we are better, more precious or valuable than others, our awareness of being chosen opens our eyes to the chosenness of others. That is the great joy of being chosen: the discovery that others are chosen as well. In the house of God there are many mansions. There is a place for everyone – a unique, special place. Once we deeply trust that we ourselves are precious in God’s eyes, we are able to recognize the preciousness of others and their unique places in God’s heart.’
Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World
God’s love for you—you specifically—is infinite, endless, unique and perfect and always, always there, calling for you, longing for you. He will follow you to all those dark and lonely places you go to hide. He is not playing hard to get. He is not waiting for you to become perfect, or even good. He is longing for you. He is calling you out of the shadows and into His love.
Will you follow His voice?
‘Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Psalm 139:7-10
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.’