The New Man: Part 4
By Shery Abdelmalak
“I was just being honest, it’s not my fault you can’t handle it.”
A phrase that claims to be honest but is in fact, hurtful, is more deceit than one that doesn’t even try. It may not be, “your fault,” but there is more to being honest than meets the eye. Every spoken word has an element of subjectivity based on an individual’s perspective, understanding and experiences. You are expressing an opinion but to express it as truth can be scrutinised greatly. If love rejoices in the truth, but there is a lack of love in your words, can it be inferred that your words are more rightly iniquity, rather than truth (1 Cor. 13:6)? Technically, it is your fault that someone can’t handle your honesty, because truth is the combination of honesty in love.
This phrase probably originated from the command, “do not lie.” But honesty runs deeper than spoken words. Honesty entails love and kindness and could never coexist with deceit. In the end, truth will always be revealed by our gracious Saviour, when it is beneficial and only when we are prepared to receive it.
There was a monk named, Abba Paphnuitus. It is written that he was, “full of grace that even the renowned and great men of that time admired his gravity and steadfast constancy, and although he was younger in age, yet put him on a level with the Elders out of regard for his virtues” (The Conferences by John Cassian, pg. 289) Jealousy grew among his brethren to the extent that they wanted to tarnish his great name through an accusation of wrongdoing. A complaint was brought to Abba Isidore of a stolen book. In a land inhabited by the Cross-bearers, theft was not a common occurrence nor were there set repercussions in place. Abba Isidore ordered the cell of each monk to be searched while they were praying in the church. The book was found in the cell of Paphnutius. When questioned, Paphnutius gave himself up so that peace would be restored and humbly requested a plan of repentance.
At this point in the story, the truth was not made known by Paphnutius. If anything, it appears to be hindered by his words. Paphnutius’ sole focus was on his surroundings. He wanted to restore peace and cover the sin of the one who had committed the crime. The request he made was beyond admirable. Which one of us is not in need of repentance? It is not wrong to defend yourself, but for the one that was focused solely on his inner life, defending himself could never measure up to repentance.
When we defend our actions, we begin to see the good within ourselves and in turn, create a niche for pride. We can toss and turn and be filled with distress trying, or we can turn to the joy of repentance and let Christ be our defence. At the very least, repentance should be our first step before every action, in that way we guarantee peace. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who live in me (Galatians 2:20). If He wants me to be seen as a liar, as a thief, as the worst of all sinners, then so be it. Let it be according to His will. I am not my own so how can I be affected by accusations brought against me? All I desire is to be a pen in the Hands of the ready writer of Christ, my Saviour(Psalm 45:1).
Paphnutius began to fast three times as often and prostrate at the doors of the church, not entering to receive Communion because of the magnitude of his unworthiness. After 14 days, the monk that had accused Paphnutius became possessed by a demon so strong that not even the prayers that guarded Scetes could stop him. No one could exorcize the demon, not even the great Abba Isidore. Our Lord would only allow young Paphnutius to exorcize the demon and thus, truth was revealed in the most astonishing way that reached the height of Paphnutius’ repentance.
For truth, the absolute truth, we need more than words. Fr Matta El Meskeen says, “The Word is a double-edged sword, but who is holding the sword? It is God’s own Word, for which He sacrificed Himself on the Cross to give us eternal life from the midst of darkness and death.” Christ is the One that bears witness of the truth. When Pilate asked Him what the truth was, He answered nothing, for His coming death and resurrection would reveal more than words ever could (John 18:37-38).
If the truth can only be revealed through the grace of the Holy Spirit, we are assured that its impact will be for our edification and salvation. Until then, may our words speak love, kindness and compassion, while we await the revelation of all truth from Above. “Nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17).