Tag: fasting

Confessions of a Priest’s Wife

Confessions of a Priest’s Wife

By Dalia Fam

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (March 12, 2019)

Even a Priest’s wife is not perfect and has to do confessions. Here are some of mine:

When I was in high school, I remember being embarrassed to walk around in public when there was a Coptic Orthodox priest with us. A priest came to my high school graduation and I was so embarrassed! I hated other people’s stares at this “unusual” person wearing a black robe and with a beard.

God has a funny sense of humor because now I am married to a priest! I have to walk around in public with him whether I like it or not. Although I do tell him that when we travel in the airport that the kids and I will go in a separate security line so we go through security a lot easier!

Another confession I must say is that when we are on vacation, I often tell my husband to ditch the robe and go in “normal” clothes. Every time, I do this, God again shows me his funny sense of humor. Many times, because of the robe, random people will stop him and ask for prayers. One lady we ran into once had just found out she had cancer and she wanted his prayers. Others need the encouragement of a man of God and his wisdom and love. I can write an entire book of the beautiful conversations we have had with so many people all over the world. From the Uber driver to the security officer at a hotel to people at a restaurant, they are looking for God’s love. They are encouraged with messages that God is giving them through us. Or they are searching and seeking.

Why would I encourage my husband to hide this gift of God from others?

My husband says he is blessed because he can stand out in a crowd. He does not shy away from the stares but confidently uses it to his advantage to share the love of God. Fr. Michael Sorial, a good friend of ours, recently made a vlog to discuss how he stands out and challenges us to stand out in the crowd too!

We have this same gift. We may not all be wearing a black robe and have a beard, but we should all stand out in a crowd. We have a special treasure of God’s love and should be able to use that to open discussions with others about this love. From my experience, people desire to hear it. Imagine the lives we could have missed because of my fears or limitations.

As we start the blessed fast of Great Lent, there are three characteristics that define this fast: Prayer, Fasting, and Giving.

Giving is not limited to my money only. It is giving the precious gift of my love, time, grace, and talents for the salvation of others. Using this gift so others may know who Christ is.

We see people caught up in their own lives. Headphones are getting bigger to make sure we cancel the noise around us when we travel or commute to work. Internet is getting faster so we can spend more time on social media and watch YouTube videos. Everything is getting less and less personal around us.

We have the gift of a personal God. A relational God who wants to love others personally and deeply. We have it. We should share it.

I remember when I first decided to truly commit my life and my gifts to the service of God. One parable that Christ our Savior said really stood out to me over and over. The parable in Matthew 25:14-30, where a man gives talents to three servants. Two of the servants gain more than what they receive. But one servant buries his treasure, afraid to multiply it. I used to feel like that one servant. I was given a treasure but I buried it in my fears, selfishness and self-absorbed life.

My prayer this Lent is that we are like the servants who were given the treasure and they went out and made more treasures.

There are many things that stop me and stop us from giving. Maybe I limit myself by my lack of knowledge, language, fears, rejections, perceptions of myself and my past life, and my insecurities. What limits you?

One of my son’s favorite movie is Evan Almighty. After the main character, Evan, faces a lot of ridicule from his family, neighbors, co-workers, and more for following God’s call, a news reporter asks him, “what makes you so sure that God chose you?” Evan’s response, “God chose all of us.”

God calls all of us, not just the ones who are ordained as a priest. We all carry His gift and treasure. Now it is up to you to respond to that call and share that gift. So others may know Him and His love.

As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:10

Naturally, when you have a relationship with God, you will want to share your gifts with others. Maybe God has gifted you with song, medicine, teaching, writing, fitness, hospitality, or many more things. Use those gifts to serve God and show others God’s love. Don’t be afraid to use your gifts.

Put aside the things that limit you, pray and fast for them during this time of Lent. And give. Give the gift of His love to others by using your gifts.

(c) Fr Abraham and Dalia Fam. goCoptic (March 12, 2019). Original post – https://gocoptic.org/confessions-of-a-priests-wife/

Why Do We Really Fast During Lent?

By Father Anthony Messeh

Original post by Fr. Anthony Messeh blog site

In case you missed it, Lent is here. That’s right. Bye bye to hamburgers, chicken wings and ice cream; hello to veggie burgers, bean burritos and fruit salads.

As you’ve probably heard before, Lent is the most sacred time of year. It’s a time during which Orthodox Christians prepare to celebrate and relive Christ’s death on the cross, His burial in a tomb, and ultimately His resurrection from the dead.

But what does that have to do with fasting? Why do we fast for Lent?  I mean really…why do we really fast?  Why is fasting such a big deal in our church and we do place SOOO much emphasis on it?

If we’re honest, most of us have no idea why we fast.  We know we need to fast, but the reasons we’re given often leave us unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

We’re told we need to fast for self-discipline, but what if I’m already a disciplined person?  Do I still need to fast?  We’re told that we need to “overcome our flesh” – but is that really true?  What does that even mean?  Does that mean my body is bad and I need to punish it by fasting somehow?

Is all this fasting hoopla really done as some kind of spiritual self-help?  Fast and you’ll be more disciplined… fast and you’ll overcome your flesh.  Is that really what this is all about?

You’ll be happy to learn that the answer is NO!  

Of course self-discipline is a good thing and of course we need to submit our fleshly desires to our spiritual desires; I am not saying those things aren’t important.

But what I’m saying is that those are not the PRIMARY purpose of our fasting.  Our fasting is not done primarily for the sake of bettering ourselves; that may be a byproduct, but it certainly doesn’t match what our spiritual forefathers – the ones who instructed us to fast during Lent – taught us as the primary purpose of our fasting.

So why do we fast during Lent?

Several years ago, Fr. Athanasius Farag – a Coptic Orthodox priest serving in East Rutherford, NJ and a personal mentor of mine – opened my eyes to an aspect of fasting that I had never considered before.  He spoke based on the writing of a great theologian and bishop from the 7th century named Isaac the Syrian, who wrote the following:

And the Saviour also, when He manifested Himself to the world in the Jordan, began at this point. For after His baptism the Spirit led Him into the wilderness and He fasted for forty days and forty nights. Likewise all who set out to follow in His footsteps make the beginning of their struggle upon this foundation. For this is a weapon forged by God, and who shall escape blame if he neglects it? And if the Lawgiver Himself fasts, who among those who keep the law has no need of fasting?

He starts by saying that we fast for 40 days during Lent because Christ Himself fasted for 40 days.  He was baptized in the Jordan River, went to the wilderness for 40 days of fasting, during which time He was tempted by the devil.

St. Isaac continues:

This is why the human race knew no victory before fasting, and the devil had never experienced defeat from our nature; but this weapon has made him powerless from the outset. Our Lord was the firstborn Leader of victory, so as to set the first crown of victory upon the head of our nature. When the devil, that foe and tyrant, sees a man bearing this weapon, he is straightway frightened and he recollects and considers that defeat which he suffered in the wilderness at the hands of the Saviour; at once his strength is shattered and the very sight of this weapon, given us by our Commander-in-chief, burns him.

Did you catch that?  That’s deep stuff (you may want to read it again).

The reason we fast is because fasting is part of our salvation!  It is the means by which Christ defeated Satan in the wilderness.  Our Lord came face to face with Satan and used the weapon of fasting to defeat Him.  And when the devil sees us bearing the same weapon of fasting, “he is straightway frightened” and “his strength is shattered” and “the very sight of this weapon [fasting], given us by our Commander-in-chief, burns him.”

BOOM!  Down goes the devil!  And he’s down for the count!  Why?  Because he got hit by the weapon of fasting – not our fasting, but the fasting of Christ Himself that we participate in through our fasting.

Go back to man’s very first encounter with the devil – back in the Garden of Eden.  There, Satan defeated man by persuading him to break the first command given by God – a command to fast.  Adam let go of this weapon of fasting and thereby was defeated by Satan.  But when the Second Adam came into the world (Jesus Christ), He defeated the devil by His fasting in the wilderness.

“Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan!… Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.”  (Matthew 4:10-11)

Jesus shows us the true meaning and true purpose of fasting.  He didn’t fast because He needed self-discipline or to “overcome His flesh” – He fasted for the same reason He did everything else on this earth…to save us from our sins.  That’s why during the one of the hymns of this Lenten period, we say “Jesus Christ who fasted on our behalf, forty days and forty nights, until He saved us from our sins.”

Why did Jesus fast?  To save us from our sins. 

Why do we fast?  To participate in Christ’s saving act for our sake.

Look at it this way.  We all agree that Jesus died for us and for our salvation.  But in order to participate in that salvation, we must die with Him.  His death is our death.  Likewise, His resurrection is our resurrection and we participate in that act as well.

In the same manner, He fasted on our behalf, to save us from our sins, and we fast in order to participate in His fasting.  His fasting therefore becomes our fasting and His victory over the devil becomes our victory over the devil.

That, my brothers and sisters, is why we fast.

A blessed Lent to you all…

Original blog found at – http://www.franthony.com/blog/why-do-we-really-fast-during-lent

You Crown the Year with Your Goodness

You Crown the Year with Your Goodness

by Marc Eskander

Lent is upon us! A time for being alone, purifying ourselves, detaching from the world, burning away all that is unnecessary, and striving toward victory over death. For every time, you have fasted half-heartedly, this is not the year for it, and it has nothing to do with your own spiritual life. In fact, it has nothing to do with being a Christian. For this year, a molecular particle is upon us. Coronavirus has flipped the world as we know it, upside down.

For those that strive for asceticism, coronavirus has half the world locked in their own homes under quarantine. For those that wanted to eat out less often, coronavirus has made eating out next to impossible. For those that do not want to live so apathetically anymore, coronavirus provides the cure. We are constantly ensuring we remain safe, and not just for our own sakes, but for those we may harm.

Whether we like it or not, whether we are fasting or not, we are abstaining from things we love, and not by choice. Lent is the time of year that I should want to slow down, increase asceticism and prepare for the Passion of our Lord. Christ taught us how to detach from the world when He entered the Judean desert to fast and pray for 40 days and nights before His upcoming mission. Christ neither ate nor drank but fought for us, His children, in the wilderness. He starved the body so that He could feed the soul.

Every year, I promise myself that this Lent is going to be different. That I am going to benefit more this year. I’m going to repent of that sinful habit, repair that broken relationship, pray harder, eat less, read more – be more like Christ! Yet this year, I am forced to do all the things I have struggled to in the past. This is the year to capitalise on virtue and embrace the restrictions that befall me.

In years past, occasionally yes, I have tried and benefited from this period, other years it feels like all l did was change my diet, albeit I wasn’t even being that strict. Do I forget what the point of it all was? Fasting is a struggle – and I speak for myself first and foremost – so there needs to be a point. Christ taught us to fast so that we may, “walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lusts of the flesh”(Galatians 5:16).

With the latest outbreak of coronavirus and the mass hysteria that surrounds it, I can’t help but look upon lent differently this year. I’m not suggesting that God sent coronavirus to teach us a lesson by any means, but I can’t help but reflect upon the timing. One verse in particular has me thinking…

“Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” – James 1:12

The link I see so clearly between Lent and coronavirus lies in this verse. While Lent is a time of fasting, prayer, and slowing down, these are the means not the goal.

It is the Resurrection…victory over death and sin; an everlasting Crown. The aim of Lent is repentance. It is victory. Not regret, guilt, shame, self-control, or a mere change of diet. But repentance. Metanoia. A change of heart. Before victory, comes death.

Lent, is the spiritual game changer if you let it be. Similarly, the coronavirus pandemic, is a game changer … but can we make it a spiritual game changer too? In this time, we can gain victory over sin – eternal life by putting to death our desires that chain us to this world. This is what coronavirus brings. We can’t be ignorant to the effects this pandemic will have on many of us – the reality of loneliness, isolation, greed, selfishness, fear of death, and an immense focus on hygiene and cleanliness.

If we shift our mindset to our inner selves, we soon see that we are asleep at the wheel and God is trying to wake us up. Lent is a time of exposing ourselves… Figuring out where we’re missing the mark. It’s a time to realign ourselves with the path of the Cross.

The loneliness and isolation we turn into a dwelling place for the Lord.

The greed and selfishness we turn into an acceptable fast of the Lord where we “share our bread with the hungry” and “bring to our house the poor who are cast out.”

The fear of death we turn into fear of God, strength in tribulation and opening our arms wide open to accept the Cross just as Christ did.

At a time when hygiene and cleanliness are paramount, are our hands clean of sin? Have we rushed to dirty our tongue with the words we speak? Have we clouded the eye of our body? Do we clean the outside while our soul lies among the “swine” as the prodigal son did?

During this time, we must remember Christ’s rebuke the the Pharisees; “Now you Pharisees make the outside of the cup and dish clean, but your inward part is full of greed and wickedness”(Luke 11:39. So it can’t be a mere coincidence. Use this as an opportunity to reflect and assess. Grab the broom and clean out the inner room of your heart.

Have our social gatherings become an opportunity for gossiping and bad mouthing others? Have we lost ourselves to the “practices” of our faith instead of the real essence of orthodoxy?  Have we lost the importance of fellowship and unity in service? Do we just assume because our youth “are in church” they’re okay? With so many churches in lockdown, we cannot allow our spiritual lives to be put on hold but we must strive to fill our inner lives in the secret place, for our Father who sees in secret will reward us openly (Matthew 6:4), especially in this time of uncertainty.

This period could be God’s way of saying,”Behold, the Bridegroom is coming; go out to meet Him” (Matthew 25:6). We must stop hoarding toilet paper and start filling our lamps with oil. Repentance is change, and change we must. The Bridegroom is coming to that guy that comes to church and leaves because He feels no love… He is coming to your friend stuck in that sin that is destroying them… He is coming to that girl in your class that is depressed and feels no one understands her. What are we doing to prepare them?

This is a wake up call! If we use it wisely, this Lent can become for us an opportunity to share in the immense Glory of the Resurrection. We too can experience the purification and change that Christ demonstrated for us in the wilderness. Through this isolation, doom, and darkness of our selfish human behaviour, our “healing shall spring forth speedily”, we “shall call, and the Lord will answer”, our “Light will break forth like the morning” (Isaiah 58:8).

The Perfect Fast for Lent

The Perfect Fast for Lent

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Sam Fanous

Matthew 6:1-18

The Gospel reading this Sunday explains to us ‘how’ to fast during Lent. This is the most powerful time of the year in which your spiritual life can be recharged.  If we ignore it and we do nothing for the next 40 days and we reach Holy Week, how can we expect to reap the fruits of our labours in Holy Week if we’ve ignored God the whole 40 days?

Holy Week is a journey, a climax of everything that we do in the next 40 days. When we ponder on the question “Why do we fast? Why is it that the church does something that makes our life difficult? Why is it that when I have a nice steak in front of me during this period, I have to say no? Do we like to see people suffering?” We have to make reference back to what Jesus did. Jesus lived His whole life on earth as one movement, from the moment of His birth to one movement on the cross. That cross was pure suffering and also the greatest moment in the history of humanity. Jesus Himself is not a man. He did not appear in history in the year dot. He was before all ages and was equal to God in essence, so the man that we saw on earth is Himself God. But as a free choice He chose to empty himself, to deny Himself, His power, His glory and His throne, for the sake of creatures who were ungrateful. For the sake of creatures who needed salvation. That is really the starting point of the change in all of history and why we mark BC or AD as the beginning of human history as we know it.

So, we wonder, if this is God’s personality and if God is living within us, is this the personality that we must have? A self-sacrificing personality? One that doesn’t satisfy its own desires time and time again?

Man is a composite being, we are body and spirit. In saying “No, I won’t eat this burger. I’ll go hungry for a period of time” we say “no” to the body in the small things and are able to say “yes” to the Spirit. Some people think that it’s okay to fast and just say “no” to the body. This has one of two outcomes. Firstly, we will achieve nothing from the fast. I may lose some weight; however, I may achieve nothing spiritually. Secondly, I will fall into spiritual pride. Similar to the Pharisees when they fasted, they told everyone about it, they walk around saying “look at me, this is what I’m doing for God.” Christ would say to that person your reward was from the praise of men. The most important type of fasting is to fast saying “no” to the body in addition to saying “yes” to the Spirit.

How do we fast? Practically in the Orthodox Church and in every Christian Church up until the 16th century there were certain foods we avoid. We are basically vegan. That means no dairy, no meat and in this particular fast, no seafood. More importantly, Lent should be combined with a period of abstinence according to everyone’s ability, where we don’t eat for a certain period of the day. We then break it with simple food because we’re reminded that the more we fill our stomach, the more we’ve satisfied our body and the weaker our Spirit becomes.

In the book of Isaiah, we see the perfect example of fasting. God is talking to the people of Israel and says.

“‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and You have not seen? Why have we afflicted our souls, and You take no notice?’ In fact, in the day of your fast you find pleasure, And exploit all your laborers. Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?” (Isaiah 58:3, 6-7)

This is the perfect fast. Fasting is not to make myself miserable. It is to deny myself and say yes to everyone around me. It’s to live for other people and look around with the eyes of Christ. When Christ saw a sinner woman or a tax collector, He didn’t condemn them. He loved them. All of us know someone who is suffering. They may not be starving, but they may be starving for companionship. They may be lonely. They may have nowhere to celebrate Easter. People are suffering but we close our eyes to it. All we have to do is open our eyes and look and we will see exactly who needs our love. Lent is the time to forget the concept in this world that we live for ourselves. We are not here to live for ourselves, we’re here to live for other people and to live for God.

The time of Lent is also the time of prayer. Without prayer, your fasting is useless. The only way to have healing like it says in Isaiah is by prayer and fasting. Think of lent this period as the start of a relationship between you and God. Our relationship with God is like that with our best friend. It is not for Him to be distant and every now and again when I need something to awkwardly come into His presence and speak to him. It is to build a relationship where we are best friends where we know each other. He knows my secrets. I know His secrets.

If you feel as if your prayers hit the ceiling and bounce back, there is a solution to this. Combine fasting with prayer, come before God not just physically hungry but spiritually hungry. Feel in yourself physical food has no sustenance for me. Any kind of spiritual goal you want to achieve in your life, it should be done without anyone knowing. Whilst God sees us in secret, He rewards us openly.

Let’s start tomorrow. Let us try not to make excuses. Don’t ask questions. Don’t make it easier for yourself. Don’t give yourself shortcuts. This is the one time of the year where we sacrifice for God. Only He knows what you’re sacrificing.  The more you sacrifice the more you feel hungry and combining this with prayer, the sweeter it will be as an offering to God.

Lenten Fasting – Revisited

Lenten Fasting – Revisited

by Shenouda Girgis

Holding the dog hostage and setting the eagle free – Lenten fasting revisited.

Diving into the Lenten season, we find ourselves face to face with an ogre in the room… the infamous no fish, no meat, no milk, no nothing fast. And my first reaction to the impending despair, is to honey the thought with a dose of cognitive behavioural therapy.

Don’t worry, it’s short.

Wait, I can’t lie to myself, its darn long.

Ok, let’s be truthful. It’s not that bad, I always look back and it was like nothing.

At this point I’ll start clenching my fist with a couple of catchy one liners; “what doesn’t kill me, can only make me stronger.”

With our mind fixated on the thought of the seriousness of the situation, we gradually develop our own maxims that push us to fast with more austerity. We become completely focused on eating less to discipline the body and free the soul, tame the dog to guide the eagle. This works – for a time. Then what? After a couple of dodgy fasts, we reminisce on the glory days, where fasting meant so much and felt, like, sort of- liberating. We relabel the focus with the same maxim that we developed a couple of fasts ago, and at it headfirst we go again!

It doesn’t work so we keep trying to uphold this cheap one-line which we can so sternly stare down and focus our glassy eyes on. The one line we set on a pedestal is usually a couple of cheaply put together words that are easy to remember and generally guide the intended thought behind the veil of the words. The more we think, the more the words take on new meaning and the initial thought in all its integrity is lost. What is left is a few flat words that Google thesaurus would dutifully snicker at. With time, we find this one line sink real deep into our mind and sort of take over our whole being, a bit like a mantra. Fasting and non-fasting times, we are just naturally gravitating toward eating less. Fasting loses its meaning; food becomes the obstacle to our goal; if we could just eat less, we would glimpse the shadow of the days of honey and milk. And do you see the monster we’ve developed?

In the beginning we loved food. The joy and complete utter miracle of eating was fresh in our senses. The rich crunch through an apple sent our spirits soaring. We were thankful with a heart overflowing with bliss. We were positive, we were happy. Fasting was a hold on our diet; a tool to violent recollection and inner peace; a stern development of character; it was the perfect balance between the eagle and the dog. Not an assassination of the poor dog. Now we’ve hung the dog at the stake, and the eagle has flown high. We’ve convinced ourselves into thinking we could be free like an angel. But we’re not angels. We’re human, we are body and spirit. The balance between the two and the complete cohesion and fullness of the two is a bliss more glorious than angels. Sort of like the dog attached to the eagle like a kite in an innocent boy’s hands.