Tag: goCoptic

Confessions of a Priest’s Wife

Confessions of a Priest’s Wife

By Dalia Fam

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (March 12, 2019)

Even a Priest’s wife is not perfect and has to do confessions. Here are some of mine:

When I was in high school, I remember being embarrassed to walk around in public when there was a Coptic Orthodox priest with us. A priest came to my high school graduation and I was so embarrassed! I hated other people’s stares at this “unusual” person wearing a black robe and with a beard.

God has a funny sense of humor because now I am married to a priest! I have to walk around in public with him whether I like it or not. Although I do tell him that when we travel in the airport that the kids and I will go in a separate security line so we go through security a lot easier!

Another confession I must say is that when we are on vacation, I often tell my husband to ditch the robe and go in “normal” clothes. Every time, I do this, God again shows me his funny sense of humor. Many times, because of the robe, random people will stop him and ask for prayers. One lady we ran into once had just found out she had cancer and she wanted his prayers. Others need the encouragement of a man of God and his wisdom and love. I can write an entire book of the beautiful conversations we have had with so many people all over the world. From the Uber driver to the security officer at a hotel to people at a restaurant, they are looking for God’s love. They are encouraged with messages that God is giving them through us. Or they are searching and seeking.

Why would I encourage my husband to hide this gift of God from others?

My husband says he is blessed because he can stand out in a crowd. He does not shy away from the stares but confidently uses it to his advantage to share the love of God. Fr. Michael Sorial, a good friend of ours, recently made a vlog to discuss how he stands out and challenges us to stand out in the crowd too!

We have this same gift. We may not all be wearing a black robe and have a beard, but we should all stand out in a crowd. We have a special treasure of God’s love and should be able to use that to open discussions with others about this love. From my experience, people desire to hear it. Imagine the lives we could have missed because of my fears or limitations.

As we start the blessed fast of Great Lent, there are three characteristics that define this fast: Prayer, Fasting, and Giving.

Giving is not limited to my money only. It is giving the precious gift of my love, time, grace, and talents for the salvation of others. Using this gift so others may know who Christ is.

We see people caught up in their own lives. Headphones are getting bigger to make sure we cancel the noise around us when we travel or commute to work. Internet is getting faster so we can spend more time on social media and watch YouTube videos. Everything is getting less and less personal around us.

We have the gift of a personal God. A relational God who wants to love others personally and deeply. We have it. We should share it.

I remember when I first decided to truly commit my life and my gifts to the service of God. One parable that Christ our Savior said really stood out to me over and over. The parable in Matthew 25:14-30, where a man gives talents to three servants. Two of the servants gain more than what they receive. But one servant buries his treasure, afraid to multiply it. I used to feel like that one servant. I was given a treasure but I buried it in my fears, selfishness and self-absorbed life.

My prayer this Lent is that we are like the servants who were given the treasure and they went out and made more treasures.

There are many things that stop me and stop us from giving. Maybe I limit myself by my lack of knowledge, language, fears, rejections, perceptions of myself and my past life, and my insecurities. What limits you?

One of my son’s favorite movie is Evan Almighty. After the main character, Evan, faces a lot of ridicule from his family, neighbors, co-workers, and more for following God’s call, a news reporter asks him, “what makes you so sure that God chose you?” Evan’s response, “God chose all of us.”

God calls all of us, not just the ones who are ordained as a priest. We all carry His gift and treasure. Now it is up to you to respond to that call and share that gift. So others may know Him and His love.

As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:10

Naturally, when you have a relationship with God, you will want to share your gifts with others. Maybe God has gifted you with song, medicine, teaching, writing, fitness, hospitality, or many more things. Use those gifts to serve God and show others God’s love. Don’t be afraid to use your gifts.

Put aside the things that limit you, pray and fast for them during this time of Lent. And give. Give the gift of His love to others by using your gifts.

(c) Fr Abraham and Dalia Fam. goCoptic (March 12, 2019). Original post – https://gocoptic.org/confessions-of-a-priests-wife/

What Goes Unheard

What Goes Unheard

By Makrina Williams

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (September 19, 2019)

There is a woman who despises her femininity; loathes any sign of beauty that can welcome trespassers, like the time she was 7 years old. Because he took what was never meant for him, and amongst the broken pieces he shattered, he left her not only hating him, but hating herself too.

Behind her tough exterior, she is beautiful and she is soft. To everyone, she hides her vulnerability and femininity; no one ever thought to look deep into her heart. No one ever thought to ask her why. Instead, they criticize and laugh.

We sit in each other’s presence; ask questions like we are students of each other’s heart. She opens out her beating muscle and shows me every place that it has been pierced. And though there are puncture wounds that cause my body to shut down in anguish, I keep listening, and watch the map of her unfold before my weary eyes.

For we are more than what we choose to display on our surface. We are more than the stories we tell every day. We are all a uniquely precious story.

She asks me what it feels like to live with both my parents. 

I tell her the truth; it is both beautiful and painful. Beautiful in the security and love I have always known. Painful because I know a beauty that many people have been robbed of. I tell her that sometimes it hurts and I think it is not fair, that I fight with God, asking why only me. I tell her I wish she had what I had. I tell her I’m sorry.

She tells me he raped her at 7 years old and no one believed her. How he’s still a free man, walks down the same streets as she does, without any punishment. She sees him, but can’t bear the thought or sight of him. She desires to kill him with her own bare hands.

Her father is a polygamist. Aside from her mother, whom he left, he now has two wives. He can afford to pay double of all her needs, yet he does not pay even a tenth. She loves him and she hates him, and she prays that he would know that someone in the world is searching for him. He tells her she’s an adult now, that she has no need of a father. But she looks at me and tells me she craves fatherly affection. 

She asks me what it feels like to not be heard. 

She asks me what it feels like to be disowned. 

I am unqualified to answer. But I ask her right back.

What if we are called to be pursuers of each other’s stories? Instead of living on the surface of each other, caressing only the superficial layers. What if we are to whole heartedly pursue the truth in others, like when Christ met the woman at the well, pursuing her story beyond what people see and know, asking her real questions. Because to Him, the heart matters.

What if this is the real liturgy we are called for; the real work of the people? To hold hands and embrace hearts, to learn the story behind every war, and never let a day fall without calling out the beauty from the ashes left by the wars.

What if this is the real liturgy; witnessing the presence of Christ in everyday life? To behold Him in the man with post-traumatic stress, within the ache of every father wound, amidst the hunger for power and success, more than in the steeple and in the liturgy books?

Sometimes the books, the services, all equate to great things, but what if the Greatest is found on the streets? Like the Mama by the roadside selling fritters, who greets me daily, the woman who cries out for Jesus no matter how intoxicated she is. What if the battle stories, and the scars, those tears and the way they have formed behaviors are the most glorious thing we will ever encounter? Like Christ who lived most of his days not in the synagogues but on the streets, and allowed every interruption to befall him. 

What if living lies right here, amidst the stories of love, loss and abandonment. What if these stories are what we are called to pursue?

This here is her story. This is her voice.

True Christian spirituality is not just about “my soul” or the “self.” Spirituality that is Christian is always about taking responsibility for belonging to others, about sharing their concerns, about bearing others’ burdens and washing each other’s feet.  – Kevin Irwin, Models of the Eucharist

What can you do? 

There are many with her story and others like her.

Of women with a broken past and they try to find their healing in the streets.

There are now over 20 women who work daily and not with their bodies. Some nights they are back on the streets, not to sell themselves again, but to reach out and empower other women. They take food to their sisters on the street, they pray and share the Word of God with them, and encourage them to come and start earning money in a new way. This ministry is now led by these courageous women who chose to leave the street that they may have life.

Sometimes the mission field sounds glamorous and easy, but for many of these women, leaving their former life behind is extremely difficult. After years of quick, easy money and sensual pleasures, it is difficult for them to now deal with the emotional wounds they once masked. Recovery and healing are a long road to walk, and we are so proud of our sisters for choosing to take on this journey.

The need here is greater than ever before, and the devil’s playground is ripe and ready for Gods laborers.

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”

Philippians 1:6

(c) Fr Abraham and Dalia Fam (September 19, 2019). goCoptic. What Goes Unheard by Makrina Williams. Original post – https://gocoptic.org/what-goes-unheard/

Changing the Mindset of our Churches

Changing the Mindset of our Churches

By Fr Abraham Fam

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (October 30, 2019)

Have you ever heard that change is good? Change is not something we should shrink away from. Change is progress. 

It is important to note that we are not changing the Faith, but progressing towards Mission as a way of life. We would actually change back to the original mindset. The Mind of Christ. The Mind of the Early Church was Mission and Evangelism. It is the Orthodox Way.

The goal is to have the Mind of Christ and the Mind of the Early Apostolic Church so the Mind of Evangelism can flourish in our Churches today.

We are not used to it because our mindset over the years, due to persecution, was more preserving the Faith. Or trying to adjust to immigration in a new county.

We are in a different stage now and it is time to go back to our original mindset. It will take great patience and humility for the Church to get back again.

Below are points on how we can reach the original mindset again:

  1. We need the Mind of Christ.

Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus 

Philippians 2:2-5

It is our aim and goal to have the Mind of Christ. The way He thought and the way He served and moved. This is the way we should go towards. 

The Mind of Christ is not merely having programs but loving others better than myself. Loving the unlovable, unbeliever and the lost sheep.

Sometimes in this movement towards Bold Evangelism and Preserving Faith and Adapting to Culture, we have a stubborn mind that is not Christ’s mind. 

We need to be students again of the Mind of Christ and the way He wants it. 

What are some of the characteristics of the Mind of Christ so that we can attain it?

Spiritually Minded

I must care about spiritually minded things and not have a carnal mind. (Romans 8:5-6). A carnal or earthly mind filled with selfish desires is death to evangelism and reaching out to all people. The spiritual mind cares about the salvation of others.

The problem is not having evangelism programs in my Church but not having a spiritual mind.

Humble Mind not Double Mind

Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Romans 12:16

Today we hear a lot of opinions and we are set in our own ways. Are we open to listen and discuss? There are so many visions and opinions and not much humility.

Early on in my priesthood, I was very stubborn and shut down other ideas. I have since learned a valuable lesson in humility.

Like-minded

There are many verses in the Bible and the Early Apostolic Church that shows a focus for being like-minded and one minded (Romans 15:5, 1 Corinthians 1:10, 2 Corinthians 3:11, Philippians 1:27).

Like-minded means that there are no divisions among us. Yes, we will have disagreements and we will be different than each other but we have to work towards being one in our Churches. 

It is ok to meet and pray and discuss ideas of how to make the Church grow and for the church to have the Mindset of Christ and Mindset for Evangelism.

We can’t look down at someone who didn’t experience what I experienced. For example, I have been in Africa for over 12 years and have some mission and evangelism experiences. I can’t come back to the States and judge everyone for not having the same focus.

No matter where we are in the Church and what we believe, never lose the unity and being of ONE mind. It is a process and we will get there as a Church. Let’s be patient during the process but let’s move one step.

Pray to Renew your Mind

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2

This should be our prayer to get to the Mind of Christ. God renew my mind. Let Your will be done in my life and in our Church.

Don’t let us be like the world and conform to it, but help be part of saving it. 

Before you are set in stone with something, let’s pray for God to renew our mind and soften it.

2. Mind of the Early Church continued to have the Mind of Christ

If you read the Book of Acts, you will see the great love and unity the Early Church had for each other. Because of that, many were being saved daily (Acts 2:42-47).

The Faith was not just statement in the Creed that was recited. It was the way they lived because of what they believed. 

I think that is the biggest change we need to ask God to renew in our mind and our heart.

May we have the Mind of the First Church. We need to return to it.

3. Mind of Evangelism Today

Here is the hard part that I have seen in the Church today. We all have so many different ideas, cultures, beliefs, personalities, and baggage. All of it comes together at once and we become hard-headed on what we think should be done.

It is hard to find 7 people to agree together on any given topic. If we can’t be like-minded and have one mind, how are we going to reach out to even more different ideas, cultures, beliefs, races, personalities, and baggage? 

We have to prepare ourselves and our churches for what God is getting ready to do. The harvest is ready (John 4:35) so GO!

As Orthodox Christians, however, many of us fall into a stubborn way of protecting the faith. Some would say that you should be like St. Athanasius and St. Basil so the faith doesn’t get watered down.

But don’t stop having the Mind of Christ while you do that. Let us be firm to protect our faith in a godly, humble way.

Let us listen and discuss and keep the forum open so we can grow our Churches in the mission area God has given us. 

Main goal of this talk is to have the Mindset of Evangelism we will need for all to reach towards the Mind of Christ and the Apostles. 

Let us work together without bullying each other or judging each other or hurting each other.

Imagine what the Church would look like in 5o years in North America and the rest of the world if we have the Mind of Christ, Mind of Apostles, and the Mind of Evangelism. 

Will our children and their children still be in the Church?

We need to pray to change the mindset. 

We are on the same team. Let us work together in to reach out. Let us look back to go forward. 

See more at the BOLD Evangelism Conference

Fr Abraham and Dalia Fam (2019). goCoptic. Changing the Mindset of our Churches by Fr Abraham Fam. Original post- https://gocoptic.org/changing-the-mindset-of-our-churches/

To Do or Not To Do

To Do or Not to Do: Lessons from my Life on Short Term Mission Trips

By Fr Abraham Fam

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (January 21, 2020)

So many people in churches for many years are talking about how mission trips changed their lives. Sometimes you wonder if there is any benefit to spending so much money to go somewhere uncomfortable just to say now I did a mission trip or post pics on social media. There are so many opinions on this matter, but let me just offer my opinion on how these mission trips benefited me and maybe how it can benefit you.

  • Touch God

I remember the first time taking a mission trip 20 years ago to Kenya and Tanzania. I was not really that close to God, but I heard about mission and wanted to try. Even though I was extremely afraid to go, I felt for some reason (probably God) that I needed to go. I went on this trip not knowing what to expect, but what I received was nothing I could ever dream of. In serving the poor and those in need and spending time with the children in Africa, I was touched with the touch from God. His presence surrounded me. That is when I really understood the verse: When you do it to the least of these my brethren you do it unto me (Matthew 25:40). This was referencing when we serve those in need. This touch healed so much in me and is still working in me. 

  • Be His Vessel

There is no greater experience in my life, than being a vessel to transmit God’s love and message to others. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 

Of course, we are not worthy of this great honor, but God desires and is looking for any person that he can use as His vessel. God wants to be present in this world and save His people. He wants to do that through us. Thus, serving on many mission trips and now living in the mission for over 13 years, I have seen so many times where God used me as His earthen vessel to transmit His great power, love, and encouragement to others. This is a huge reason why I recommend you to go on a mission trip. I am not saying this can’t be done where you are. But sometimes we need a spark that can light a fire in my life that will keep flaming continuously. 

  • Overcome Your Fears

As I said earlier I had so many fears and excuses why I should not go on a mission trip. Later I realized, God wanted to help me overcome my fears. I had a fear to speak in public and pray in public. I was more of a quiet person to myself. God wanted me to look outward and serve outward and not just be to myself. I will never forget my first mission trip when all were required to preach in public in front of many. I was so scared that every time we were called to preach in public in the markets I would find a way to hide behind someone. Bishop Paul would call out people randomly to go and preach. After a few times, I almost perfected my ability to hide from His Grace. However, one time in the biggest market, I was caught and asked to go and preach. All I remember was that I was so afraid that I started to lose sight. Everything was blurry. So, I went up and started preaching. I don’t know what I said or if I even talked about Jesus, but that moment was life changing. After I was done, I felt a courage and boldness that overcame me. That boldness has continued from that moment until now as God continues to challenge me every day. 

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13 

Maybe God wants to help you overcome a certain fear? Mission trips are His training ground. 

  • Mission Continues at Home

One of the greatest impacts I have seen from taking a mission trip is when I went back home to our church, I saw how much we who experienced this great mission applied what we learned at home. Honestly, I haven’t seen anything that grew our churches more than when groups kept coming back from mission trips and the zeal and energy and love for God inspired them to do more for the people in the church. Really the reward from mission trips were not just at the mission trips, but the impact was felt at home. 

Conclusion

Should I take a mission trip? Most definitely, you and your family should sign up today for one. If there are no trips from your church planned then start organizing one with your leaders. If there are still no trips, then just come alone (email is below). You won’t regret coming, but you might regret not coming. I know it is hard to find time and money to go, but pray and start fundraising and you will see how God will complete it. It is not just about going to a trip and taking pics and putting it on Facebook. There is so much more God wants to do and sometimes He needs to take us from all our distractions so we can hear Him clearly.

I am so thankful for all the mission trips that I have taken in my life. It has developed me into the person I am today. Come, feed your soul and help feed the soul of others.

For everything in the world will perish except the soul because it is eternal

St John Climacus

Fr Abraham and Dalia Fam (2020). goCoptic. To Do or Not to Do by Fr Abraham Fam. Original post – https://gocoptic.org/to-do-or-not-to-do-lessons-from-my-life-on-short-term-mission-trips/

Keep Calm and Study Theology

Keep Calm and Study Theology

By Dalia Fam

Originally seen at goCoptic blog (March 13, 2020)

While the world is shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic, this could be a great opportunity to not panic, stay home, and sign up for an online course in theology!

Recently, I signed up for a course on Missiology from St. Cyril’s Coptic Orthodox Theological College in Australia. It was an online course and I am still going through the lectures. In the few lectures that I have heard, I have been challenged to grow so much!

Here I am – a missionary in Zambia for over 13 years – and I begin to think I know everything on mission! What a shock I was in for when I took this course! I still have so much more to know and to learn and to grow.

Being Coptic Orthodox from birth, I also thought I knew everything on our Faith. But what another surprise I was in for when, a few months ago, I signed up to study my Masters of Theology from Agora University. I have learned many more truths about our Faith and have been challenged to continue to grow.

Studying theology is helping me in my Faith journey but also helping me in my mission and service. It feels amazing when I can take the things that I have learned and guide my little ones or my church family. Personally, I am growing leaps and bounds and I am being challenged to a depth I have not had before. Learning theology is about life, meaning, belief and identity at the deepest level.

There are many benefits to studying theology. When a belief, a book, or different practice comes out and people begin to follow it, the person who stands on a strong theological foundation will not be so easily swayed. Even from studying Church History, you can see leadership struggles and challenges in the Church from the beginning. Therefore, when something occurs in your Church in modern-day, you won’t be quick to run away knowing your Church History and standing firm on a Church that remains strong in spite of challenges.  

And of course, studying theology should never be head knowledge only but for you to grow from the learning. That it should impact the way we live and deal with others. If you are studying and you have not seen a positive change in your life, then something is not connecting to your heart. I should not become more elitist or superior and I should still learn from the child. I always have to check myself to make sure I am letting what I learn transform me into more of the image of Christ.

St. Evagrius Ponticus, a famous theologian and desert monk in Egypt said this: If you are a theologian, you will pray truly. And if you pray truly, you are a theologian.

Theology will not be learned through studies alone. It will be learned through silence and being in the presence of God. That is exactly how the Early Church Fathers were able to be teachers of theology. They were not trying to be theologians. However, they became theologians because they spoke out of the abundance of their hearts. Their hearts were full with a life of prayer, holiness, and silence. They were in the presence of God and through that, He gave them the theology and depth of knowing Him. Through their relationship with the One who speaks to them, they experienced, tasted, and saw Him.  

If you are serious about Mission in our modern day, I challenge you to take any theological and missiological courses that can grow and challenge you. Force you to read more. Force you to think and grow more.

St. Paul, in his words to his disciple St. Timothy, said clearly, “. . . give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. . . Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you” (1 Timothy 4:16). St. Paul knew the importance of devoting one’s life to reading and meditation.

We give attention to many things. We grow in many things. But the one thing we should give attention to is spiritual learning and growth, just like St. Paul advised St. Timothy.

If there are no courses physically near you, there are many Orthodox churches and seminaries that offer courses online. Find one and sign up today! There is never a good time and it does require time but it is so worth it! For your spiritual life, your family, and those you can impact in the world around you.

My Prayer before beginning this journey about 6 months ago (found in The Orthodox Way by Bishop Kallistos Ware):

0 Saviour, who hast journeyed with Luke and Cleopas to Emmaus, journey with thy servants as they now set out upon their way, and defend them from all evil.

I pray the Lord continues to guide my journey and guides yours as well.

(c) Fr Abraham and Dalia (2020). goCoptic. Keep Calm and Study Theology by Dalia Fam. Original post – https://gocoptic.org/keep-calm-and-study-theology/