honest – Upper Room Media Blogs

Put Off Deceit, Put on Honesty

The New Man: Part 4

By Shery Abdelmalak

“I was just being honest, it’s not my fault you can’t handle it.”

A phrase that claims to be honest but is in fact, hurtful, is more deceit than one that doesn’t even try. It may not be, “your fault,” but there is more to being honest than meets the eye. Every spoken word has an element of subjectivity based on an individual’s perspective, understanding and experiences. You are expressing an opinion but to express it as truth can be scrutinised greatly. If love rejoices in the truth, but there is a lack of love in your words, can it be inferred that your words are more rightly iniquity, rather than truth (1 Cor. 13:6)? Technically, it is your fault that someone can’t handle your honesty, because truth is the combination of honesty in love.

This phrase probably originated from the command, “do not lie.” But honesty runs deeper than spoken words. Honesty entails love and kindness and could never coexist with deceit. In the end, truth will always be revealed by our gracious Saviour, when it is beneficial and only when we are prepared to receive it.

There was a monk named, Abba Paphnuitus. It is written that he was, “full of grace that even the renowned and great men of that time admired his gravity and steadfast constancy, and although he was younger in age, yet put him on a level with the Elders out of regard for his virtues” (The Conferences by John Cassian, pg. 289) Jealousy grew among his brethren to the extent that they wanted to tarnish his great name through an accusation of wrongdoing. A complaint was brought to Abba Isidore of a stolen book. In a land inhabited by the Cross-bearers, theft was not a common occurrence nor were there set repercussions in place. Abba Isidore ordered the cell of each monk to be searched while they were praying in the church. The book was found in the cell of Paphnutius. When questioned, Paphnutius gave himself up so that peace would be restored and humbly requested a plan of repentance.

At this point in the story, the truth was not made known by Paphnutius. If anything, it appears to be hindered by his words. Paphnutius’ sole focus was on his surroundings. He wanted to restore peace and cover the sin of the one who had committed the crime. The request he made was beyond admirable. Which one of us is not in need of repentance? It is not wrong to defend yourself, but for the one that was focused solely on his inner life, defending himself could never measure up to repentance.

When we defend our actions, we begin to see the good within ourselves and in turn, create a niche for pride. We can toss and turn and be filled with distress trying, or we can turn to the joy of repentance and let Christ be our defence. At the very least, repentance should be our first step before every action, in that way we guarantee peace. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who live in me (Galatians 2:20). If He wants me to be seen as a liar, as a thief, as the worst of all sinners, then so be it. Let it be according to His will. I am not my own so how can I be affected by accusations brought against me? All I desire is to be a pen in the Hands of the ready writer of Christ, my Saviour(Psalm 45:1).

Paphnutius began to fast three times as often and prostrate at the doors of the church, not entering to receive Communion because of the magnitude of his unworthiness. After 14 days, the monk that had accused Paphnutius became possessed by a demon so strong that not even the prayers that guarded Scetes could stop him. No one could exorcize the demon, not even the great Abba Isidore. Our Lord would only allow young Paphnutius to exorcize the demon and thus, truth was revealed in the most astonishing way that reached the height of Paphnutius’ repentance.

For truth, the absolute truth, we need more than words. Fr Matta El Meskeen says, “The Word is a double-edged sword, but who is holding the sword? It is God’s own Word, for which He sacrificed Himself on the Cross to give us eternal life from the midst of darkness and death.” Christ is the One that bears witness of the truth. When Pilate asked Him what the truth was, He answered nothing, for His coming death and resurrection would reveal more than words ever could (John 18:37-38).

If the truth can only be revealed through the grace of the Holy Spirit, we are assured that its impact will be for our edification and salvation. Until then, may our words speak love, kindness and compassion, while we await the revelation of all truth from Above. “Nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17).

A Lesson on Worship

A Lesson on Worship

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Daniel Habib

The story of the Samaritan woman is one of the most amazing stories of the Gospels. We see how she discovers that Jesus was somebody special. She first infers that He may be a prophet. She thinks it’s a conversation about water but then He says, “I will give you living water!” She inquiries about this water and He tells her to call her husband and He will tell her about this living water. He commends her for speaking honestly but then reveals that she has had five husbands and the one she is living with is not her husband.

Suddenly, lights are going off in her head and she begins thinking this Man is important. At this, she asks her first big question about worship – “Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship” (John 4:20).

The Samaritans had left the worship of Jerusalem, they left the temple, they separated themselves from the Israelites, and they became people mixed with the Gentiles, they took some of the Jewish faith, but essentially, they left the worship of the temple.

This is important to understand, because the worship of the temple was everything. You couldn’t worship God outside the temple. God was in the temple – His presence was in the temple. Hence if you wanted to worship God, you had to go to the temple. This idea of personal prayer was not as developed. In the Jewish mind, prayer had a corporate appearance of worship.

She is not asking about personal prayer, she is asking about corporate prayer. She says “We worship here. And you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where we ought to worship, so tell me, what do You make of our worship? are the Jews right, and we are wrong? Can we both be right? Can we worship here, and can we worship there?” And Jesus responds in almost the most direct we hear from Him, “Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth (John 4:21-24).”

In English, we read, “salvation is of the Jews.” The more accurate Greek translations is, “salvation is from the Jews,” meaning Jesus Christ came from the Jews, and not that salvation belongs to the Jews alone. Jesus does not leave the issue of living water and move on to a separate topic. He discusses the idea of living water that is eternal life, and we know the living water to be the Holy Spirit that is given to us. He is not speaking about corporate worship, but worshipping in spirit and in truth. God is Spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.

It is essential that when we pray, we first understand what we are doing. Too often when we speak about the divine liturgy – what we do here and now – we focus on symbols and we divide it into parts. But we need to look holistically, and not divide the liturgy into little pieces. We must understand the big picture, the direct implications the Eucharist has on our personal lives.

Christianity is a community of worship. The church is a community of the body of Christ. Our own personal bodies are members of the body of Christ. This is what comes first; before any theology, before any doctrine, any dogma, before any Creeds, before there was anything, that we have now in the church, we are a community of worship.

In the very first church of Acts, they would come together, united in the Spirit and they would pray. They would come together and enter the Spirit of praise and worship. Even immediately after Christ’s Resurrection, the disciples gathered in the upper room. During the 40 days after the Resurrection, and the 10 days between the Ascension and Pentecost, you never hear them say, “Okay guys, let’s get together for our mission statement, what’s our mission statement going to be? How are we going to advertise ourselves to the world, how are we going to explain ourselves to the world? What are we going to do, let’s divide up the tasks, the jobs, and who’s going to be here, or who is going to do this?”

But this is how we look at our service. Our first meetings are to organise tasks, when the early church spent their time together in prayer. The work of the church is to pray, and to be a worshipping community. Ask yourself, how am I part of the church? I may know theology, doctrine, dogma but I am first a worshipper of the church.

As a worshipper in the church, how do I attend the services? How do I participate in the services? How do I come to church? What do I seek when I am coming to church? This directly affects your personal life. Our personal devotion cannot be separated from the church.

“Personal devotion and community worship belong intimately together, and each of them is genuine and authentic, and truly Christian, only through the other.” – Georges Florovsky

When we come together to pray, it presupposes and requires that we pray as individuals. When we come together as a church, we are supposed to come as individuals who pray by themselves at home coming together to pray as a group. This isn’t the only time you should be praying. The church is a gathering of people who pray. Personal prayer itself, is only possible because we belong to the group, the community. Since no person is a Christian except as a member of the body, even in the solitude of our chamber, when we enter into the inner room, we pray as a member of the redeemed community as a church. And that when we worship God, in spirit or truth, we can’t worship in one way or the other.

I can’t say I come to church but my actual worship is when I am alone. My worship at church should reflect my worship at home. The problem is that we put one over the other. And both can turn over to something terrible. When personal prayer become, “I, me, I want this, I asked for this, I need this…” This is not a prayer of the church but a disconnection.

In church, we pray for, “Our fathers and brethren who have fallen asleep repose their souls.” And, “Heal those who are sick. Visit the sick among your people, heal them.” We do not pray on behalf of ourselves but on behalf of the entire church community and it’s important to understand that WE, as a community, are entering the church and pray with the church.

The most important parts of the Liturgy, when the priest calls for the Holy Spirit to come upon the bread and the wine to turn into the Body and the Blood. He doesn’t say “I” ask You. He says “WE” as a community, “ask You, to bring Your Holy Spirit upon us and upon these things.”

As much as possible, we must participate fully as a community, to give us this idea that I’m not separate from the body of Christ, but that I’m part of the body of Christ and when I worship, and I worship with the body of Christ.

If we don’t understand the words we still should sing the words because there are three things that happen. First, we sing the words with our mouth. Then we bring our mind to where our mouth is so we concentrate on the words and then eventually our hearts. Our heart embraces the words, but it starts in that order. Don’t wait for your heart, and then for your mind, and then you’ll sing. You sing first and then your mind goes with your mouth, then your heart with your mind. Simple.

Every time the deacon says “let us attend”, or “let us pray”, it means something important is happening and we have to pay attention to what is happening. Even if I might not be in the very spiritual mood, I remember to pay attention to God. We’re in the house of God we’re not in the house of me or any of the other priests.

When you see people coming to church who haven’t been here in a long time, pray that God keeps them in the church. Don’t judge them. If you yourself haven’t come to church in a long time and you’re scared about coming when you just happen to be here today? Come to church with a sincere desire to be a true member of the Church of God, asking God for

forgiveness, which He is willing to give to everyone who seeks this repentance. But we have to actively live the life. You can’t just say forgive me, and then we go do what we want to do afterwards. The church becomes a standard in the way that we live our life. May God be glorified in His church and may He teaches always to worship Him in spirit and in truth now and ever and unto the ages of all ages. Amen.

⛪️ Full sermon ⛪️

From Palms to the Cross

From Palms to the Cross

Adapted from a sermon by Dr Adel Magdy

After the Lord entered into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, we map every step He took in the hope that we see what He saw, we hear what He heard and we feel what He felt in this final week.

The ultimate aim is to reach His Cross, to stand at the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. We start with Palm Sunday where thousands of people surround Christ to get even a glimpse of Him. By the end of the week, there were only a handful that remained at the foot of the Cross. Even His disciples, His closest of friends, had deserted Him.

For the special few that made it all the way to the Cross, indescribable blessings were given from our compassionate Lord. If we consider what would’ve happened to St Mary after the death of her only Son, with no husband, life would have become extremely difficult for her in those days. He gave her John the Beloved to care for her. As for John the Beloved, the gift of having the Mother of God in his own household was a huge blessing and shows how much the Lord trusted him.

St Mary Magdalene received the honour of being the very first person that the gospels record the Lord appearing to after His resurrection. She was the first to see the risen Christ. Even those that were not at the foot of the Cross deliberately still received blessing. The Centurion, for example, had his eyes opened. It is even believed that this man became a martyr for the sake of the Lord.

There is power in being on the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. For us, we begin a journey this week. The ultimate aim is to power through right until the foot of the Cross.

There are a lot of tests and milestones along the way that we must pass to reach the foot of the Cross. The first milestone we encounter on the night of Palm Sunday. On Monday Eve, Christ asks the disciples a few questions – who do men say that I am? He then follows up with a more personal question – who do you say that I am? (Matthew 16:15)

It’s an unusual question. Why would the Lord care about what people were saying about Him? He knew that His disciples knew who He was. For us, we ask the Lord, “who do You say that I am?” Not what I think of God, but what does God think of me. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of me. It doesn’t matter how I outwardly appear to the world. It doesn’t matter if people look at me and think I am a great ambassador of the Lord. What matters is what the Lord thinks when He looks at my heart.

Lord, who do you say that I am?

It’s not a comfortable question for any of us to ask. We’re not sure what the Lord will say of us. Will He say that we were like John the Beloved, loving Him and always drawing near to Him, or if He will say, you’re like Judas, someone that betrayed for any price. We don’t know that the answer will be. We fear so many hidden things in our life that if people knew, they wouldn’t want to know us.

As uncomfortable as this question is to ask, it’s crucial for us if we want to make it to the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. Even if we don’t ask this question, we will hear the Lord’s answer on Judgement day. The Lord will tell us what He thought, and we will either enter the joy of the Lord or we will be cast into eternal condemnation.

In His mercy, we are given the opportunity to ask this question tonight while we have a chance to fix it. On Judgement Day, there will be no further opportunities to change, but now we have a chance. We have a chance to ask the Lord what we need to do to fix ourselves and draw near to Him.

Monday of Holy Week is the cursing of the fig tree, this is where the thousands that surrounded Jesus on Palm Sunday begin to drop off. The Lord is hungry and He sees a fig tree from a distance, full of leaves. The Lord makes the effort to draw near to the fig tree but when He arrives He sees that there is no fruit, just leaves. Apart from its appearance, there is no good in it. The Lord curses the fig tree, the very next day it withers away and dies. The church fathers teach us that this is a symbol of hypocrisy. There is nothing the Lord hates more than hypocrisy. The Lord was only firm with the Pharisees and scribes because of their hypocrisy.

We get on our knees in Holy Week and beg the Lord to show us what we are doing wrong and what we can do about it. We ask for His grace to change our life this year. We can make a change this Passion Week.

A life changing sermon was given by Fr Matta El Meskeen that outlines the steps toward answered prayer. Beg the Lord day and night to reveal your sins and weaknesses that keep you from Him. Pray for nothing else in one month, but day and night repeat this prayer – reveal the sins that are keeping me from coming to You, Lord. We can only ask this question if we are prepared to act upon what the Lord teaches us, to learn to fix our hearts and to see through the Lord’s eyes.

Lord, may You grant us clarity to see what separates us from You so that when Good Friday comes, we may see You in full clarity. May we increase our love for You, that it becomes easy to stop the sins we once loved that block us from You. My Saviour, may You help me reach the Cross so that I may sit at the foot of the Cross all day and see the depth of Your love for me and the depth of Your sacrifice. May I hear You say, “Enter my Beloved child in whom I am well pleased.”

?? Full Sermon ??

Holy Week in the Secret Place

Holy Week in the Secret Place

By Shery Abdelmalak

“Your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” – (Matthew 6:4)

A wise person once told me that they knew their spiritual life was failing when they prayed more at church than they did at home, this is a sure sign of a spiritual slump. If I go to church regularly, if I serve regularly, these become my norm. I enjoy doing these things. I feel like I am doing good. My outward display to those around me and even to myself is favourable. I don’t feel the need to fix something that doesn’t appear to be broken.

But an honest spiritual life starts in a secret place. There are no hidden motives in the secret place. In your room, with the door closed, where no one knows what goes on. Only God knows for certain, and it is in the stillness of prayer that He listens and our relationship with Him begins. Oftentimes the secret place is sought for refuge from the problems of this world, we gain peace, we gain clarity and we slowly drift away until the next problem comes along. If we use prayer in this way, there is much lost. We leave before Christ’s biggest blessings of grace come to us.

“It is amazing how many people prefer service more than prayer. And reading more than prayer. And contemplation more than prayer. And attending religious gatherings more than prayer. That is why they fail in their relationship with God. They therefore meditate, read, have a service and attend their meetings, but are separated from God. There is no relationship.”
HH Pope Shenouda III

Pope Shenouda is amazed at how much we devalue prayer. All that he lists have an external element attached that distinguishes them from prayer. In prayer, there is no external display and if we are valuing other aspects of our spiritual life more than our internal prayer lives, then it almost begs the question; has my relationship with God even started?

In the holiest of weeks, we commence a spiritual journey to the Cross, we put to death our worldly image and learn to love God from the inside out, no distractions. We must remember that this world is deceitful; what seems to be normal in the world is not what God intended for His creation. This Holy Week presents the perfect time to find Christ in the secret place, while the churches remain closed. Just you and your Beloved.

We spend Holy Week asking the question, “who are You, Lord?” and “reveal my sins to me so that I may be more like You.” We encounter Christ in secret; “We pray not to inform God or instruct God but to ask earnestly, to become intimate with God, to be humbled and reminded of our sins” – St John Chrysostom

HG Bishop Agathon once said that one single night at the monastery was the equivalent of ten years in the world. We know this to be true because of the reformation through prayer under the leadership of Pope Kyrillos VI. Fr Daniel Fanous says, “The broken [Patriarchal] staff, symbolic of a broken church, fractured and profusely bleeding, was placed in Kyrillos’ hands; and there, in twelve short years, it was mended and healed in ways that we will never truly comprehend.” In twelve years as Patriarch, he lifted the mocked Coptic church to the church that has spread to all nations, to nations that cannot imagine a life without it.

Now, a different struggle, a spiritual life without the physical church. Maybe this is how we will be risen with Christ this Holy Week. To start from scratch, in our own home churches, in our cells, we can try to find Christ in the secret place. Maybe now is the time to emulate the words of St John Chrysostom when he said, “When you pray, set aside all turmoil, as if you were being joined by choirs of angels and singing with the seraphim.”

Fr Anthony Mourad says that the sweetness of God is seen in all the ways He has made lemonade out of the lemon that is coronavirus. One of those ways is in the secret place of isolation that we now find ourselves in. For the first time in any of our lifetimes, the church is closed during Holy Week. I don’t want to be anywhere other than the church in this week, but we must make lemonade out of what is the sourest of lemons. If it was in the secret place that Pope Kyrillos VI mended our entire church, Christ can mend and reignite our relationships with Him, to one of pure love, void of all external motives.

Get your favourite deacons from Soundcloud ready! This is a Holy Week not to be missed! For the first few Good Fridays I can remember, Fr Yacoub would recite the Lamentations of Jeremiah and it didn’t feel the same when it wasn’t him, but now I know it will be him, it will be whoever I want it to be, no bad deacon voices this year! (but Jesus still thinks your voice is beautiful, Amen.) When I was in Egypt buying souvenirs, I saw this cute little shoraya that I thought would make a perfect candle holder. The lady selling it and my mum then proceeded to make some not funny Arabic jokes about how I wasn’t allowed to become a priest. That shoraya is now the most sought after object in our entire household. This is a year unlike any other, Fr Elijah told us to get excited for Lent, but now we get excited for a Holy Week that will be spent in our makeshift churches at home. The secret place is all we have left, but it is all we need.

❤️ Psalm 91 ❤️ Fr Yacoub’s Lamentations of Jeremiah ❤️

Holy Monday

Lead me to the Cross

Holy Monday

by Meray Shehata

Where are my fruits?

Think of the fig tree. One of God’s creations planted as a seed as all the other trees were, cared for and given water. Jesus expected great things from this plant as He gave it the perfect environment to thrive and flourish. Now when it came time for Jesus to reap the fruits of the tree and found none, He cursed the plant.

The lesson for us is that we are not living a life that is our own. Each day, each hour and each second of our lives have been gifted to us. As with the fig tree, which has been granted so much time to bear fruit, each one of our breaths is counted.

Our God is a merciful, just and kind God. He waits at the door of your heart seeking to enter and provide you with your heart’s desire, He waits to come in and give you salvation. In return, He has one request. Repentance. If the plantation of your heart is fruitless then what good is it then to be cut down?

Seek the Lord while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.

Isaiah 55:6

As we are living on borrowed time, it’s important to remember that everything ends except for the Lord. He is patient and gives us enough time to change and bear fruit. Even more, God is just, He knows the complexity of your character. How comforting is it to know that, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9)

Let’s look at the tree from another angle. The fig tree was a beautiful tree. “And seeing from afar a fig tree having leaves” Jesus being hungry went to inspect it as this wasn’t the season for the fruit. So not only was the tree not meant to have fruit, but it was lavishly displaying its leaves when other trees had nothing to show but bare branches.

Our lives can also appear abundant. Maybe our leaves portray us as; having the perfect career, an impeccable church servant or a flawless family. Others can be deceived by the extravagant leaves we parade; we may even fall into the trap and see our self falsely. What about God? Will He be deceived by the show we flaunt? Or, will He look deeper to find fruit?

“Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified”

2 Corinthian 13:5

As with the fig tree who bears leaves and no fruit, we cannot become half-hearted Christians. The cursing of the fig tree was symbolic of the cursing of the nominal Christian. The alleged believer who is unrepentant and faithless is undeserving of the kingdom of God. Which is why our actions, thought and feeling should reflect our citizenship in Heaven.

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

Matthew 7: 13-15