Tag: love

Forgiving Others (Barriers to Repentance)

Barriers to Repentance 1/7

Forgiving Others 

by Shery Abdelmalak

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us

How easy it is for us to pray this daily while being detached from our brothers and sisters. By praying this, God has lowered Himself to our level so that He may elevate us to His.

He won’t forgive until I forgive? The thought of this question once distressed me. I know that my ability to forgive is flawed by my human nature, but My Lord, in His perfection, does not struggle to forgive the way I do. It’s not a matter of CAN He forgive. He can forgive, and He does. Even before you come to Him, He has forgiven you. What is not possible is to be united with God while we are not united with one another. Just as the father of the prodigal son waited earnestly for his son’s return, God waits earnestly for us to accept His forgiveness and to be reconciled and renewed in Him once more through repentance.

If forgiveness equates to love, then a lack of forgiveness equates to hate. Where there is hate, God could never co-exist.

A truly repentant heart does not struggle to forgive others. A repentant heart knows its own sin and knows that although they are not the true imitation of Christ, they strive to be more like Him daily. When you are just a work in progress yourself, you can forgive and pray for the faults you find in others, no matter how hurtful the sin may be. God is working in them, just as He works in you, even if it may seem like some require more work than others.

Often, we can see a fault in a person and this may drive us away from them. But to truly love with the spirit of repentance is to pray for them, to pray that God reveals the riches of His glory to them. To pray that they are strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man. To pray that Christ dwells in their hearts so they may comprehend the width, the length, the height, the depths of the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge (Ephesians 3:16-19). That level of love. Not trust, not a return to what your relationship once was, just Love.

We can love with worldly love but what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them (Luke 6:32). This kind of love is limited to worldly understanding. Anyone can love someone that has given them enough reason to love them. But we strive for Limitless Love that comes only from above. The type of love that suffers long and is kind. That does not envy nor parade itself nor is it puffed up. Does not behave rudely or seek its own. Does not envy. Is not provoked. Does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth (1 Cor. 13:4-6) – A Love that would lay down its life for its brethren. A Love like this does not concur with human understanding, but neither does the gift of grace in our salvation through Christ. This is the love that forgives unconditionally. Without it, there is no place for forgiveness.

Our lack of forgiveness generally comes from a good place. You were wronged. You were hurt. You didn’t deserve it. You are a good person and a bad thing happened to you that you couldn’t prevent. But Jesus was a good person, too. Jesus was wronged. Jesus was betrayed. Those that anticipated His coming for their salvation betrayed Jesus. More still, His own friends betrayed Him. Jesus was sacrificed, for a sin you and I committed. Now you want to go to God and tell Him that what was done to you was too much? God, being the kind and compassionate God that He is, surely He would understand that there is no way forgiveness is plausible. After everything Jesus did for you, you can forgive. Not for the sake of the one who harmed you, but for His.

There is a hurt however, that is far beyond my own understanding. I by no means think that you should just get over it because Jesus went through worse. Jesus did go through worse, not so you could feel ashamed when you struggle to forgive, but so you know that no one can offer you empathy and compassion quite like Him. The very fact that you come to Him when you cannot forgive is credited to you. Some wrongs may take weeks or months or years of prayer but do not be disheartened, but rather, put on the whole armour of God that you may stand against the wiles of the devil (Ephesians 6:11). Fight to forgive. Don’t pretend like everything is okay, don’t pretend that you were not hurt, don’t pretend that you don’t remember the hurt because you cannot handle coming to terms with what it means to you.

Robert Dean Enright says, “When unjustly hurt by another, we forgive when we overcome the resentment toward the offender, not by denying our right to the resentment, but by trying to offer the wrongdoer compassion, benevolence and love (2).” Fr David Milad (2015) explains this as forgiveness through an acknowledgement of what was done to you and the conscious decision to positively work through the situation in order to grow spiritually. Compassion, benevolence and love is the goal of repentance. This really is all He ever wanted from us – to spread His love through forgiveness to His children. “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High.“ (Luke 6: 35)

When struggling to forgive another, it is important not to lose sight of what you can control – your own sins and your own repentance. To repent, in its most basic form of the word, is to say you’re sorry. Even when you are stuck in the hurt of sins committed against you. If so, start by saying you’re sorry. Say you’re sorry for your blind ignorance that is yet to see its own sin. Start small and ask Him to reveal your sin to you. That small step you take toward repentance, is one small step that you have taken toward Him. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8). You will feel His peace the closer you draw to Him, so for that reason, repent.

May we repent so that we can pray in all sincerity, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Glory be to God forever, Amen.

Love (Ardent Series)

Love (Ardent Series)

By Fr Michael Sorial

Gifts are very prevalent in the new testament. In the new testament, you hear the word “gift” 50 times. However, there’s two different words for the word “gift” in the new testament.The first one is “charisma” and the second one is “doron,” and so, we’ve been talking about these gifts that God has been giving us over the Advent period. He’s given us the gift of peace, the gift of hope and the gift of love. In the new testament, these two Greek words for gift have important meanings – one of them is God giving to us, and one is us, responding to God. Charisma is from God, so this is God giving to us, and doron is us giving to God or others. Usually God will give us a charisma, he will pour out a spiritual gift on us and our response back to Him is to give a doron. The word “Theodorous” or “Tawadrous” for instance, means gift of God, Theo meaning God and doron is gift, so it’s a gift of God – he sees his life as a gift offered back to God. God gives us a gift, and we respond by giving gifts to Him, or giving gifts back to others.

Usually, when we say charisma, it specifically signifies a divine gift and a doron is usually something that’s given to God or others in order to honour them, or to say thank you. So what makes Christmas the greatest story ever, I believe, has to do with the fact that Christ gave us the greatest gift of all! The first Christmas gift He gave was God Himself, giving His Son to us. It’s not just the first, most expensive gift… it’s also the greatest, it’s the most needed, it was a gift that we didn’t know that we needed… this is what makes it the greatest gift of all. You may have been to football games where you see John 3:16 on posters, what does it say?

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whomever should believe in Him should not perish but should have everlasting life”

God so LOVED, so that he GAVE – because of God’s love for us, He gave His Son. In Romans 8:32, we’re told that St Paul says that He did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him, freely give us all things? The key word is “with Him,” so what St Paul is saying is that He didn’t spare His own Son, because He loved us, He gave us His only begotten Son, so that with Him, He would freely give us all things. In other words, the gifts of peace and hope and joy and love and glory – and all the different spiritual gifts like the fruit of the spirit – those are the things that come along with the greatest gift, Jesus himself. If you’ve ever seen those gifts where there’s a box within a box, within a box, within a box – that’s kind of what it is. The big gift is Jesus and inside of that big gift, there’s a bunch of other small gifts. Jesus is the greatest gift, He is the gift that is most precious, He’s the most expensive gift that there is.

But… within that gift, there are other small gifts!

“Seek first the kingdom of God and all righteousness and all these things will be added onto you”

So the great gift is Jesus Christ. We are often told that the spirit of Christmas, is all about gift-giving. From a Christian perspective, I would argue that it’s not all about giving, it’s also about receiving – but not just receiving any ordinary gift, it’s about receiving God’s gift of Jesus Christ. The spirit of Christmas is about receiving the greatest gift, which is Jesus Christ Himself. We tend to think that the Spirit of Christmas is all about giving gifts to others which they’ll really like, but what the spirit of Christmas is actually about, is receiving the great gift, because He so loved the world that He “gave” – and what do we do? – We “receive” that gift, we say this is for me, this is mine. We do this as part of the church’s liturgical annual cycle, to remind us that this is an ongoing reality, that Jesus came to earth to share the gift of His love with each of us.

There’s a poem that was written in 1885 by Christina Rossetti and she was attempting to express what Christmas meant to her:

“Love came down at Christmas,

Love all lovely, Love divine;

Love was born at Christmas,

Star and angels gave the sign.Worship we the Godhead,

Love incarnate, Love divine;

Worship we our Jesus:

But wherewith for sacred sign?Love shall be our token,

Love be yours and love be mine,

Love to God and all men,

Love for plea and gift and sign.”

What an absolutely beautiful image of Christmas! That Christmas, is love incarnate, it’s Jesus who we worship, He offers Himself as a gift and token to alll humanity. The reason why we give gifts on Christmas, is because God began the tradition by giving His Son to us, and so we respond back. We respond as the wise man responded, coming immediately to give a gift back, to honour the King who was incarnate. He comes to give us Himself – God with us, and they respond with a doron, and we follow this ever since.

Loving Your Enemies

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Loving Your Enemies

Sermon by: Johnny Sharkawi
Article by: St Mark’s Youth

What does it mean to be a Christian?

What differentiates Christianity from any other religion?

Simply – Love.

“44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” – Matthew 5:44-45

So what is love? And what does it mean to love?

There is a deeper understanding which Christ has shown by His example, through being crucified on the cross for us. He has shown us something that is far greater than we are capable of doing on our own. Because God is love and as we are created in God’s image, we are created with love installed within us. However, it takes daily reminders through prayer and repentance in order to renew the love in our hearts, to the point that we can even love our enemies.

 But how do we do good to those who hate us?

The more we love God, then the more we take from his love and are able to love others. And so the closer I come to realising that I have been forgiven by God, then I begin to ask myself who am I to not forgive my brother? The solution to loving our enemies is simply to love God and to realise that we are in fact that enemy that was and is forgiven by God. Hating our enemies, ridiculing them and seeking revenge for their hurting us can only be done by someone blinded with dirt in their eyes to not see the hypocrisy in the action. This dirt comes from sin and evil thoughts like hatred and lustful desires. And so we need to wash out our eyes so we can see clearly, just as God wants us to see. We need to wash our eyes daily to see how Christ wants us to see Him in others.

We do this through repentance and prayer, which is the only way to clean our eyes in order to look at our neighbours with love. And when we pray, we beg the Lord for a repentant and loving heart.

We are not of this world, and as Christ says “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” So why do we jeopardise our salvation with worldly matters and things such as having hatred towards our neighbours?

Glory be to God forever Amen.

Self Denial

Self-Denial

By Fr Yacoub

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

In many aspects of modern day life, there exists a clear disparity between the life Christians are called to lead, and the life lived with the influence of Western culture. This distinction is not seen any more clearly than by looking at the quality of self-denial, a concept that is highly foreign to many Western cultures.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

This idea of denying oneself – forsaking personal desires for the interests of others – is unfamiliar and even unacceptable in most perspectives. Notions of submission have highly attached negative connotations in modern society, and are associated with feelings of weakness and limitation. Contrary to this perspective, true Christianity sees things differently.

Self-denial may be considered a core value in Christian life, led and taught to us by Christ on Earth. With the mindset of “not My will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42), Christ set the perfect example, a didactic life of denying oneself.

But what benefit does self-denial have? In a modern day society crowded by those blowing their own horns, gloating in their perceived success and absorbed in their own selves, where does self-denial fit? Let’s explore.

Inner peace
Denying oneself allows a grace and gift of true inner peace. How can anything disturb someone, who denies themselves to live for the Lord? Self-absorbed sins of envy, jealousy and bitterness will dissolve. With the “helmet of salvation” Ephesians 6:17, the obsession with oneself is displaced by the focus on the Lord… a recipe for true peace.

Forgiveness
One who truly denies themselves will only have forgiveness in their hearts. It is a barrier, a protection of the anger that can lead to grudges and enmity with neighbors. How can you get angry if someone hurts your “dignity or status”, if you deny yourself?! You will be satisfied, no matter what one may do to you.

Loved by all
Paradoxically, the act of denying yourself draws hearts of love and friendship. You will be a friend of Heaven and Earth. Let’s consider a married couple. In the wedding ceremony, they recite vows from St Paul’s epistle. What is this commandment really saying? Self denial. If a spouse truly denies themselves for their partner, the only result is for the partner to submit. In The Paradise of the Monks, it is quoted that “the best thing for two people living together, is self-denial”. Let us use this not only with our spouses, but in everyday life with all. Trial with the grace of God, and see.

Let us shift now to the question; “How do I really know if I am denying myself?”

We see many attempts and examples, most with pure intentions of humility, but oftentimes misguided. Some may say, “On a table with issues being discussed, I do not join in. I keep my opinion to myself, it is a way of humility.” This has many risks – you may sit and feel yourself higher than those around discussing – the exact opposite of intended humility.

Again, one may say “I always wait to be last in anything, it is a way of humility” – of course this may be for some, but again it carries the same risks. So how do we truly deny ourselves?

I heard from a priest conference once, the following words.
The only way to acquire true humility and self-denial is to accept accusation and abuse from others.

There is a reward for those who are truly humble, and that is grace from Our Lord.

In his last visit to Australia, HH Pope Shenouda III came to St Mark’s Church. I needed him to help me in my spiritual life. He invited me in front of the congregation and kept humiliating me. He continued to ask, “What is this?! Where are the youth?!” I knew the youth to be upstairs in the English church, watching the event by TV connection, but I didn’t say so. I responded “I will look for the youth Saydena”.

Meeting him the next day in the monastery, I asked him “Are you truly upset with me Sayedna?”. In his wisdom he responded, “Father, is it better for me to praise you and say ‘you are a good priest, you have a good church’? Or for me to use this opportunity for you to improve in your spiritual life? You can be satisfied that the church if full of youth, but how will you grow? Will you look for the lost sheep?”

This is the culture of the monks in Egypt. They are tough with each other, to allow each other to grow. From Sayedna’s firmness, I have stayed many nights thinking and apply what he said. To survive and strive in this culture if firmness, humility and self-denial is not only beneficial, but completely necessary. Let us adopt these characteristics.

One may ponder on the difference between self-denial and low self esteem. There exists one clear and important difference. Though you may have low self-esteem, it is imperative to know that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. We are weak alone, but vessels for the glory of God through His grace.

We pray that the Lord grant us grace to deny ourselves as He did. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. With His life as the perfect example, let us live for His glory alone.

Glory be to God Amen.