How Much Does God Love Me?

How Much Does God Love Me?

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Elijah Iskander


Holy Week leads up to the crucial death of our Lord. If we were to summarise this week in one phrase, it is, The Cross. If the Cross was described in another way, that is loveThe Cross is Love.

We preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. – 1 Cor. 1:23-24.

To some, the Cross is foolishness, how could you believe in a god that would accept to be treated in this way? Others take it one step further and say that it is a stumbling block. I want to believe but I can’t.

To some it is weakness, agony, failure. Even some Christian denominations have this view; that Jesus was the victim.

To the Orthodox Christian, the Cross is victory and power, but above all the Cross is love.

If we knew how much God loved us, our lives would be different. If we knew the depth of His love for us personally, our lives would be renewed!

We meet so many characters in the Scriptures of Holy Week. All their thoughts and actions could be understood by asking one question – did you know how much God loved you?

We read about the Israelites in the prophecy of the sixth hour of Good Friday. After they saw the ten plaques, after the first-born of the Egyptians die, after the Red Sea is parted and they escape, after they receive manna from heaven, they then complain against God. We read, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt to kill us in the desert, For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” The Lord Himself sent bread from Heaven to sustain them but even this, they did not like. (Numbers 21:5).

After everything the Lord had done for the people of Israel, the question becomes, did you forget how much He loves you?

If we look at Judas, a key figure of Holy Week, the question becomes, did you ever realise that Christ loved you? While other church fathers disagree, St John Chrysostom believes that Christ did wash Judas’ feet along with the other disciples. He did this to show him that He loved him. He wanted to give him one more chance. Maybe this would move his heart. Maybe this would have stopped Judas’ scheme. Maybe this would soften his heart.

If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him, would he have sold Him so cheaply for thirty pieces of silver? It would be impossible. If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him, would he have been able to go and betray Him with a kiss – an intimate, calculated and premeditated act? If Judas knew how much the Lord loved him then his life would have been very different. Perhaps the question for Judas becomes, did you ever know how much the Lord loved you?

If we look at the two thieves that were crucified with Christ, we see two different perceptions of the crucified Christ. In the right-hand thief’s creed of Good Friday, we say, “What did you see and what did you comprehend,” to be able to confess Christ as King?

The left-hand thief didn’t see or hear anything, we know this because we hear him blaspheme against the Lord when he said, “If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us” (Luke 23:39). If the left thief had known how much the Lord loved him, his words would have been very different. If he comprehended how much Christ loved him, perhaps he would have cried out like the right-hand thief, who could see how much Christ loved him. Even if every moment of his life had been away from Christ in not a negligent way, but intentionally for he was a robber, he was yet able to comprehend Christ’s love. He looked at Christ and saw how much He loved him. He saw that Christ could overlook what he had done. It was not too late for the boundless love of the Lord.

The sinner woman rushed into the Pharisee house uninvited, breaks the flask of alabaster oil, loosens her hair and wipes His feet with her. She made a spectacle of herself. She knew how much Christ loved her, she knew He would defend her, she knew He would honour her and say, “what this woman has done will be told as a memorial to her” (Matthew 26:13). Because she knew how much Christ loved her, her actions without words, were testament to her recognition of Christ’s love for her.

St Peter also, loved the Lord but in an impulsive moment he denied Him. If St Peter remembered in that specific moment how much the Lord loves him then it would be impossible for him to deny. There was a momentary lapse; a moment that his fear clouded his vision of Christ’s love.

Finally, St John the Beloved; the one whom Jesus loved. The one who knew how much Jesus loved him. He was unwavering in faith, standing at the foot of the Cross when all the other disciples had scattered. He could do this because he knew how much the Lord loved him, his words and actions were different. He was the one whom Jesus loved.

For us on Good Friday, we must reflect on these characters. I ask myself, in the midst of uncertainty, pestilence, plaque, setbacks in study or health, am I like Israel, forgetting what the Lord has done for me in the past? If I knew how much the Lord loves me, I will never be shaken.

Am I like Judas? If I know how much the Lord loves me, will I betray Him for a cheap lie? An inappropriate image or thought? An inappropriate relationship? If I know how much the Lord loves then my response to His love is an inability to do these things.

Am I like the right-hand thief? I know how much You love me, even if I have sinned and been far from You up until this day, I know it is never too late, I know You still have hope for me. I know that You can still accept me.

If we know how much the Lord loves us, our words, actions and lives will be different. Knowing the Lord is more than just information, we must have intimate knowledge of the Bible.

What if I don’t know the Lord loves me? Knowing the Lord runs much deeper than facts, but having intimate knowledge of the Bible. How then, can I remind myself?

The Cross. Look at the Cross. Contemplate the Cross. Sit at the foot of the Cross. Pray, Lord, I just need to remember, I just need to know how much You love me. This becomes easy, for we love for He first loved us.

He bows his head, as if to kiss you. His heart is made bare open, as it were, in love to you. His arms are extended that he may embrace you. His whole body is displayed for your redemption. Ponder how great these things are. Let all this be rightly weighed in your mind: as he was once fixed to the cross in every part of his body for you, so he may now be fixed in every part of your soul.”

St Augustine

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Drowning in Mercy

Drowning in Mercy

Adapted from a sermon by Johnny Sharkawi


Would it be accurate to say that God’s mercy is available to us?

To anyone in the church, the answer would be, yes. The Bible presents us with a different answer. A more accurate answer is that God dumps His mercy on our heads.

A common prayer that Fr Elijah would pray was, “Thank You God for pouring Your mercy and blessings upon us.” I would hear this prayer time and time again. The attitude that God is pouring mercy without falter is the more accurate description.

What is strange is that in the Bible, God pours mercy even on those that do not ask for it. On the Cross, there were none that asked for His mercy. The reality was that they were opposing Him. The first time He opened His mouth on the Cross was to pour mercy upon them. He said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). Even to those that did not ask nor want His mercy, the Lord still with the largest bucket possible, dumped His mercy upon them.

Till today, He continues to poor blessings on those that do not ask. In Matthew 5:45, we read, “for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” His mercy is poured on the evil, just as the sun rises on all people. There is no distinction made between His children, all receive mercy. It would be weak for us to say that His mercy is merely available to us. God does not reluctantly give mercy if we beg. He is not that kind of Lord.

Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.” – Isaiah 1:18.

He says, ‘come,’ as if the Lord is grabbing us by the arm and pulling us. He wants to reason with us that even though we are sinful, He wants to make us white like snow. This is not a Lord reluctantly giving away mercy but a Lord that is looking for every opportunity to give away His mercy.

Another example of His pleasure in mercy is in Micah 7:18-19; “Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea.”

The Lord’s delight is in mercy. If you think of the way you delight in your favourite meal, you do not leave in remnants behind. You lick the plate clean, and you get every last drop off your fingers, too. You do this in delight. This is the Lord’s approach to mercy. The Lord’s delight is in mercy so that His forgiveness is never short of 100%. He licks His fingers until there is no mercy left to give, this is His greatest delight.

More than this, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” – Isaiah 43:25.

He tells us that He forgives us not for our sake, but His. Even if we do not want our sins forgiven, He can’t help but forgive. This is the extent of His mercy, He wants it more than we do. He does not desire the death for a single sinner but that all should return and live (Ezekiel 18:23).

If we were to ask the Lord what he really wanted from us, I think He would respond in the same way He responded in Ezekiel 36: 25-26, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 

Why does the Lord want us to be clean? Because it is a pre-requisite to seeing God. If we are to see God, we must first be clean. In Hebrews 12:14, it says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

We will not see the Lord without holiness. The objective is not to be clean in our own eyes, or to be clean in the eyes of other people, but am I clean in God’s eyes? Without true holiness that only the Lord sees, we will not be able to see Him.

The Lord pours His mercy, He dumps His mercy on us all now so that now is the time to pursue holiness so we may see the Lord. There will come a time that the door will be shut and it will not be opened again. We must pursue holiness now while His mercy is being poured upon us.

Many of us will ask is confession a struggle? The answer is yes. Even HH Pope Kyrillos VI would agree, he said, “do not keep your thoughts hidden but struggle to purify your thoughts through confession.” It is a struggle; It is not easy. If we take on the heart of Jesus who said, “I am gentle and lowly in heart,” (Matthew 11:29) then confession will be easier. A major reason why we find confession is a struggle is because we want to look good. I want Abouna to think well of me. The truth is, it is my pride that stops me from confessing my sins.

On Covenant Thursday, the Lord breaks Himself for us. He took His Body (that is the Eucharist), and He broke Himself for our sake. Confession is me breaking myself, for my own sake.

“Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left.” – Matthew 24:40. Confessions is the difference between the one taken and the one left behind. We do this for ourself. We do not have confession so that we can tell others that we have had confession and we are now clean, but we do it so that we may be clean in God’s eyes. We do it so that we are not the ones left behind of Judgement day. The door is open now while we have life in us.

Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon” – Isaiah 55:6-7.

The Lord is ready to pour His mercy and He waits for us. The Lord is so simple, repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand (Matthew 3:2). Sometimes, we translate this wrongly, because we are complicated while the Lord is simple. We interpret this as dwell on your sin, for the Kingdom is at hand. Think a lot about your sin. Feel really bad about your sin. Let this manifest into depression about your sin. Hide your sin. This is complex and it is not the Bible. If we are weighed down by our sin then we have missed the whole point of the week.

The Lord shed His blood to make us clean. We do not need to carry our sin. He came that we may have life and live it more abundantly (John 10:10).

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Not One Bone Broken

Not One Bone Broken

By Shery Abdelmalak


The climax of the greatest love story ever told with the ultimate sacrifice of the most perfect Bridegroom. Every moment of human history came down to this one fateful day. The final covenant between God and His creation, a promise of salvation and freedom for the faithful.

Every little detail on this day had profound meaning and a tremendous cost. Nothing was by accident, all the prophecies led to this final moment of the Lord’s crucifixion. Our God, the author of Love, orchestrated every little detail to show us His Love truly knows no bounds. While there were moments that seemed unnecessarily harsh, these were glimpses into His everlasting love. For it was in His affliction that we hear His call, “I am my beloved’s, And my beloved is mine” (Song of Solomon 6:3). 

The Jews were relentless, but they stopped short in one instance. When they went to break the legs of the crucified, they found that Jesus had breathed His last and there was no need. Some early church fathers have contemplated the question, why the legs? Why not the head, for a swift death? Breaking the legs caused the greatest pain, while speeding up death slightly. They wanted them to die faster, but not without pain. They needed the bodies to be taken down before the Passover so that the stench of the dead bodies did not defile the atmosphere. God-forbid they appeared to be an unclean nation. They were completely blinded to reality and fixated on an honourable appearance, and so, our Bridegroom still had more ways of showing His love to soften even the hardest hearts.

To their surprise, Christ had died already. Could it be that this was a sacrificial death? Could He really be the Saviour they had waited for? We know He died out of free will, out of love. This was His choice to grant us freedom. By His death, He overcame death so that it could no longer have dominion over us. Through His victory in love, He gave up His Spirit at a time He chose, at the fulfilment of all the prophecies, and not at the expected time.  

The Jews knew their prophecies and maybe it was in this moment that they recalled the sacrifice the Israelites offered in remembrance of their freedom from the Egyptians. The one sacrifice that the Lord commanded, “nor shall you break one of its bones” (Ex 12:46), was Christ the sacrifice of freedom; 

He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken. – Ps. 34:20

If Christ had endured the height of suffering already, why stop at the breaking of bones? Beyond the prophecies, there is more the Bridegroom has to offer to you and I, His bride. We are the bones of Christ. We may endure suffering, but we do not break away from Him. We remain in Christ and by His stripes we are healed (Is. 53:5). For it was in the crucifixion that we were freed from the death of sin and united with Christ for eternity, so how could any one of His bones be broken?

We may leave Christ, but Christ will never leave us. There were so many signs, calling out to the hardest of hearts. When we look upon the hidden brokenness of the heart, the pain almost physical yet unseen. The brokenness we experience, caused by our own accord or otherwise, represents a detachment from the Bridegroom. 

When a bone is broken, modern medicine teaches us that it will never be as strong as it was before. If you repeatedly break the same bone, extra precautions are taken to prevent future breakages. To protect a heart that has been broken, we harden its surroundings, we don’t let people in, just in case it breaks in the same way it broke before – just in case that the next time it breaks, it is beyond repair. 

Don’t show love. Don’t show weakness. Don’t show any sign of humanity that can lead to being hurt.  

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.’

C.S. Lewis

That is option one. 

Option two, the option that Christ gives us on the Cross – choose love. Choose love that breaks. When a broken heart is given to God, He heals it so that it is stronger than it ever was before. 

I am dark, but lovely” (Song of Solomon 1:5). I may be tainted by mistakes, sin, brokenness, but this does not cause God to love me any less. On the contrary, He calls for the one lost sheep among the hundred. For every mistake I make and the subsequent hurt I feel, He heals my heart, He makes me capable of loving more than I ever could before. He helps me fight the reflex to harden against things that hurt me. To harden against pain is to choose a bandaid over the healing Hands of God. He can only heal wounds that are given to Him as they are, as wretched as they may be. May we always remember that on Good Friday, Christ endured all suffering but did not allow His bones to be broken, He did not allow His children to be broken away from Him. There is no hurt too great that He cannot repair.

Our brokenness is a calling to love, to be reunited with Christ in repentance. When we come back to Christ in repentance, we are not just healed, but renewed. Let it break, let it be renewed, for this is the purpose of His Crucifixion. On the day of Resurrection, we are renewed. We put to death all that leaves us feeling broken and we prepare to be risen in Christ. 

“A broken and a contrite heart, these O God, You will not despise.” Ps 51:17

A Sweet Soothing Aroma

A Sweet Soothing Aroma

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Augustinos Nada


Imagine the worst, ghastly smelling thing you have ever smelt. Many of us will think of fesekeeh, in line with the Easter Monday tradition, or milk that has gone bad, or any kind of food that is left out for too long.

Can you imagine if we can then harness this smell into the sweetest swelling aroma? It doesn’t seem possible, but that is what God does for us. He took the stench of our sin and turned into a sweet-smelling aroma.

In Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, we read of the law of atonement. God spoke to Moses and said that to expel the odour of sin, to offer a burnt sacrifice. Anyone who had sinned would offer up a livestock animal, sheep or bird that was without blemish; a symbol of Christ. This animal was then brought to the door of the temple. The person would confess their sins with their hands on the head of the animal and then they would slaughter it, blood would come forth and this was the form of atonement. The priest would take it to the altar, that would become a sweet soothing aroma to the Lord.

And the priest shall burn it on the altar for a sweet aroma to the Lord. So the priest shall make atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him (Leviticus 4:31).

Throughout these books of the Old Testament, the sweet aroma of the sacrifice is mentioned 25 times. Could you imagine the rot of sin being transferred through repentance into a sweet aroma to the Lord? Imagine the Lord enjoying the smell of aroma. That is the power of our repentance when we return to the Lord. The fowl smelling of sin – pornography, lies, anger, adultery, disputes, cheating, drugs, alcohol, smoking – is all turned into a sweet incense before the Lord in repentance.

Beyond repentance, we see the sweet aroma in one Person, and that is our Lord, Jesus Christ Himself. The Lord sent His sweet aroma to us in His Son. The ultimate sacrifice was His blood on the Cross. He carried our sins in His body to give us atonement as a sweet aroma. No longer do we sacrifice animals because we have the ultimate sacrifice in Christ.  

And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma (Ephesians 5:2).

How can we be the sweet aroma to the Lord? The way we live. If we are Christ-like in our conduct, in righteousness, in honest repentance, we become the sweet aroma to the Lord.

For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. (2 Cor. 2:15)

We are the fragrance of God if we imitate Christ and live in His footsteps. Thursday Eve describes two kinds of aromas. The bad smell in the betrayal of Judas for 30 pieces of silver. This was a symbol of man’s sin and the stench that followed the rot of sin. The second was an aroma of love and repentance from the woman that poured the expensive fragrant oil. The sinner woman who did not say one word but the Lord understood her tears of repentance. She anointed Him and prepared His body for burial (Matthew 26:12).

What we know about expensive fragrances is how strong the smell is, the aroma will stick for days. The sinner woman anointed Jesus so that the aroma was beautiful even unto the Cross. Christ was crucified just before the Passover, at a time when they wanted the bodies taken down quickly for burial. There was no time to prepare the spices and anoint His body, He was quickly rushed to the tomb. He went to the Cross and rose with the same sweet smelling aroma from the sinner woman’s repentance.

What can we offer to the Lord?

Our sins and habits when turned to sincere and honest repentance is the sweetest aroma to our Lord. The Lord will carry this to the Cross. The doors of our church are closed now. The churches will, of course, be open again. But this is an important reminder that one day the heavenly church will be closed. These events are a re-enactment of the Second Coming. He said the doors will be shut and there will be people left outside. We have a glimpse of that feeling now with the churches doors closed. It’s not a good feeling, but imagine being left out of the doors of heaven. One day, the doors of heaven will be closed, but they will not be re-opened. In those days, there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:42). They will knock on the doors and Christ will respond, I do not know you (Matthew 7:23).

But today, we have a second chance. Let us offer sincere and honest repentance. Then we will have the beauty of being in the presence of God in His peace. We will have answered prayer, and growth in virtue.

Every Good Friday, we find the most expensive perfumes donated to the church for the icons. Instead of giving this to the church, let us leave it to prepare for the church in our homes. The first homily of Monday morning says, “Every person who was baptised in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit has an angel responsible for him till their death, and to convey and raise their deeds to God.” – St Shenouda the Archimandrite.

The Lord has sent an angel to listen to our prayers and supports us. If the church is the house of angels, and our homes our now the church then what appears to be a family of four is actually a church of eight if we consider the angels, not to mention the saints and the heavenly hosts. This is the beauty of our home churches.

Let us practice finding a sweet aroma to give our home churches as a reminder of the sweet-smelling aroma that the Lord delights in when we repent. Let it be a constant reminder of repentance that turns the rottenness of sin into an aroma.

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Is This the End of the World?

Is this the End of the World?

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily


There are a lot of questions on our minds, especially as we look around and we see what is taking place around the world. A pandemic that has crippled the Globe. We see numerous deaths, churches closed, streets empty, communities in isolation. This raises so many questions. One question that most people will ask, whether Christian or not, religious or not;

Could this be the end of the world?

In Holy Week, we are following our Lord’s actions and teaching. The week begins with Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. He cleanses the Temple and curses the fig tree. There is a gap of time before the betrayal of Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday almost seem like filler days. What is taking place is a significant part of our Lord’s teaching in those two days.

The readings of Wednesday Eve provide a sample of what Christ spoke and taught. The three synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) dedicate a large portion of their gospels to the teaching on these two days. A key theme was the end of all things. The church refers to this as the Eschatology – the study of the last things.

Christ in His final week spoke significantly about the last things. Matthew has 6 chapters dedicated (Matthew 21-26) to the last things; the second coming, the final judgement and heaven and hell. 

We see a glimpse of this in the readings of Wednesday Eve. We read the parable of the wedding, where all were invited but someone came without a wedding garment and they were cast into hell, revealing the theme of heaven and hell (Matthew 22:1-14). It continues, you must be ready, because two people will be in the field, one will be taken, one is left. Two women grinding at the mill, one is taken, one is left (Matthew 24:40-42). Death can occur at any time. We also have the theme of the Second Coming. The Second Coming is like a thief in the night, it can come at any time so we must always be ready (Matthew 24:43). We also have the theme of judgement with the five wise and five foolish virgins, five were taken in while five were excluded (Matthew 25).

Eschatology is widely considered by scholars to be one of the most difficult areas of study. The confusion is typically surrounding the tense that Christ uses – past, present or future. He speaks about the end of things like they are present, here and now. Surely the kingdom of God has come upon you (Matthew 12:28) – as if the kingdom is now here. It is present.

Elsewhere, when asked when the kingdom of God will come, Christ responded, The kingdom of God does not come with observation; 21 nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). We are given the impression that it is all here now.

Then, there is a future tense that Christ also uses. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come forth, separate the wicked from among the just” (Matthew 13:49). Here, the kingdom appears in future tense. In the Lord’s prayer we say, “Your kingdom come,” implying that the Kingdom is not here but is coming. So, is the Kingdom coming, or is it presently within us?

“Assuredly, I say to you, there are some standing here who shall not taste death till they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom” (Matthew 16:28). Another confusion is that it is not present, or future, but will be in their lifetime.

How do we make sense of this all? When Christ speaks of the end of all thing, He speaks of four aspects that are weaved together;

  1. The end of the temple – the destruction of the temple in 70 AD. Jerusalem was destroyed.
  2. The True Temple – meaning Christ, His own death and end on earth.

Both allude to the end of the earth. For Jews, no Temple meant the end of the world. For God, the Creator of the Universe to die, the world cannot go on. But there are two more personal ends.

  1. The end of our own lives at our death
  2. The end of the world

What we see taking place is a paradox where the end is already here, but not yet. The church speaks in that language – the already and the not yet. The end has begun at the death of Christ, the end has begun by the destruction of the temple, the end is happening as people are dying and the end is waiting to be fulfilled at the end of the entire world. With the birth, death and resurrection of Christ, He has inaugurated the end of the world. The end has begun.

If the end has begun, it changes how we view Heaven, Judgment and the Second Coming of Christ. It is no longer part of the unforeseeable future. It is here and now.  It can change the way we see heaven and hell, judgement, our own death and how we live.

If the end has already begun then judgement has begun. I am not waiting to be judged. I begin judging myself now in the presence of Christ. If I begin judging myself now so that when the final judgment day comes, I pass judgement. I begin judging myself now with repentance.

In the last days, there will no judge or jury; just Christ and me. A true repentance overcomes judgement. The end has begun. I stand with Him now to judge myself while I am alive. If the end has begun, then the Second Coming is not in the unknown future, it is here and now. I can prepare myself for the second coming now.

During the Pascha, the church is watching from home. Even five of the seven priests follow on from home. We use this time to prepare for the second coming of Christ. The second coming is unlikely to occur while we are in church. Let us stay out of the church to prepare for that moment. We can prepare ourselves to that extent. The end has begun; it is already here. The first Christians lived in that way; as if the end would happen in their lifetime.

If the end has begun, it changes the way I live my life. It changes my view of heaven. Heaven is no longer a place in the future. The Kingdom is here and now and I can live heaven on earth.  When you go to heaven or hell, what will you see? You won’t see anything distinct. Nothing will be different. It will just be the same as where you are.

“Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.”

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

When we are in heaven, we will look back and realise, we were living heaven all along. Nothing will change. I need to begin my heavenly life here and now, in the already. The age to come will be a continuation. Heaven and the Kingdom is here and now to be realised here and now.

So, is this the end of the world? Yes. It is the end of world. The end of the world began at the death of Christ. We are living judgment, preparing for the second coming and living Heaven on earth. This is our hope.

In the Creed, we end in a joyful tune, “And we look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come, Amen.” It’s joy. This is what it all about. We can’t wait for the resurrection, but we start here and now.

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The Silent Lamb

The Silent Lamb

by Marina Giurgius


‘Like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.’

Isaiah 53:7

A solider completely silent in the midst of war. Not a single war cry or victory scream. That same solider later forgives his enemy on the battlefield, in the midst of his agony. You and I can both agree that this all sounds somewhat unrealistic, unbelievable perhaps?  Well this solider was Christ and his battlefield was Golgotha. Does that make it any more comprehendible? As we journey into Holy Week, let’s try to make sense of it.

Every aspect of death on the Cross had a ghastliness about it. It was the most agonising of Roman capital punishments and to make it crueller it was not a direct road either. Christ first underwent a patronising trial, excruciating torture and a mockery and all whilst remaining silent. He did not speak during these events and spoke only 7 things on the Cross, all of which were not for his own profit.

Lord, what stopped You from crying out to defend Yourself against the affliction? What satisfied Your heart so much, that it was worth the suffering?

It is not you and I alone questioning His silence. Many at the time and to this day may say that Christ was silent as a means of escaping His tribulation however, it is in fact the complete opposite. It was simply a still submission to the will of His Father and a depiction of His great love for mankind as ‘Love does not seek its own’ (1 Corinthians 13:5).  Just as He left to go to the wilderness, the abyss of silence it was rather a spiritual battlefield than a means of an escape. His silence is perhaps one of the most overlooked lessons on forgiveness given from the Cross. His silence was not fear, but sacrifice.

When we speak many words it only satisfies our hollow weaknesses within us but serves little purpose to our soul belonging to God. It is a challenging task to ask someone to accept an injustice without getting caught up in a confrontation or an argument. Is this not what Christ did on the Cross when He paid the price for our sins in silence? The most difficult of tasks is to not speak in the midst of chaos “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).  This is the first step to forgiveness as we begin to silence our anger and resentment with silence itself.

The word ‘give’ makes up the word FORGIVE and so it is no surprise that this is moreover at its centrality. The Silent Lamb broke His silence only to give. He gave his enemies and persecutors forgiveness. He gave the Right-Hand Thief the keys to paradise and eternal life. He gave the solider who speared his side a kindness that later made him a great saint. He gave His blessed mother a son and carer. He gave his Father a ransom paid in full and He gave humanity redemption and salvation from an eternal inferno. He gave only to receive a gift of humiliation, grief, suffering and pain embellished with a crown of thorns. 

The first words of Christ at the Cross:

“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34)

St John, the Mother of Christ and the three Mary’s are all at the foot of the cross and before speaking to them, Christ breaks his silence with a request of forgiveness for his enemies. He prays for his enemies before He addresses His own Mother and His own anguish. Not only was it a simple request of forgiveness on behalf of His enemies but a firm shield of defence and an exemption of their ignorance. How comforting is it to know that Christ is our chief advocate before the throne of God, for there is no earthly defender that can compare to such. Christ continually provides us with the benefit of the doubt for our sins, excusing our sins but how often do we do this with others?  St John Chrysostom explains that waiting for your enemy to come to you seeking forgiveness is vain and a heavenly reward will only come to those who make peace with their enemy on the same day despite criticism. Setting an excuse for your enemy will allow you to forgive before they ask and is an ultimate expression of love, the core lesson from the cross.

Even the pain of the Cross did not amount to the pain He felt one night earlier in the garden of Gethsemane. Upon Christ’s great anguish kneeling before the Father with sweat dripping from his holy temple in the form of blood, He requests,‘Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done’ (Luke 22:42). We can be comforted knowing we have been promised condition-less forgiveness without needing to ask,“If you are willing, forgive me”.

St Anthony the Great says “If we remember our sins, God forgives them but if we forget our sins, God remembers them.”  It is with a continual remembrance of our sins that it becomes impossible for us to say our own sins are lesser than those committed against us and this too will help us forgive.

Our ultimate role-model Jesus Christ even on the Cross in the peak of His torment did not cease to guide and inspire us to forgive. So here are the four things taken from the Cross that we can use to forgive.

  1. Spend time with God in silence
  2. Make excuses for people that you feel may have wronged you
  3. Give whenever you can to the best of your ability
  4. Always remember your own shortcomings and sins 

Because of sinfulness, man lost the crown of perfection that God had granted him in the Garden of Eden, and instead crafted at Golgotha a new crown made of thorns, of that very earth that God cursed when man fell.  Forgiveness is the love that compelled our creator to bear this crown and cross whilst silencing its suffering on our behalf.

Glory be to God forever.

He Did it For You

He Did it For You

By Marc Eskander


When you think of sinning, remember the Lord’s suffering. 

When your life takes you away from the path of Christ, remember the path of Calvary.

When your feet begin to wander into sin, remember the nails driven into the feet of Christ.

When your actions take a sinful turn, remember the actions of the Jews against Christ.

When your hands are used for evil instead of good, remember the nails in both Christ’s wrists. 

When your thoughts become sinful, remember the excruciating pain radiating from the thorns piercing the scalp of Christ. 

When you’re thinking of humiliating someone, remember the humiliation and mockery Christ endured innocently for you. 

When you’re about to betray someone, remember the pain Christ felt at his closest friend betraying him to die, for you. 

When your integrity and faith is shaken, remember Peter’s denial of his master because of the shame of crucifixion, for you.

When your actions and words leave scourges on the back of your neighbor, remember the flesh being ripped from the body of Christ over and over again. For you. 

When your cross becomes heavy, when you start to tire, remember Christ dragging his cross, the one He would be killed on, through the streets of Jerusalem, while being mocked and spat on, bleeding from His open wounds, sleepless…facing his impending crucifixion. For you. 

When your life becomes difficult, exhausting, painful, sorrowful. When it has stripped everything away from you. When it has stretched you to your limit. When your friends have become your enemies. When you feel alone, outside Jerusalem, crucified to your cross.  Think of Christ on the cross. His thoughts were for his executioners. For the criminals. For his mother and disciples. 

Pray. Pray for God’s will in your life to be done. Pray that God strengthens you. Pray for others. Pray for your enemies, the ones that hate you speak evil of you. Mock you, spit on you. Think of others, suffer with others and allow your pain to help others carry theirs.

When you’re in the depths of sin. When you don’t feel like there’s a way out, when you feel like you’re too far gone for Christ. Remember the Resurrection. Remember that moment the disciples hopes and dreams were made alive when they saw Christ Risen. Remember the redemption of Peter from his denial and the love Christ showed, remember the rescue of Adam and Eve from Hades, remember the triumph of Christ over death and sin. That His arms are outstretched just for you. For you to return.

From Palms to the Cross

From Palms to the Cross

Adapted from a sermon by Dr Adel Magdy


After the Lord entered into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, we map every step He took in the hope that we see what He saw, we hear what He heard and we feel what He felt in this final week.

The ultimate aim is to reach His Cross, to stand at the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. We start with Palm Sunday where thousands of people surround Christ to get even a glimpse of Him. By the end of the week, there were only a handful that remained at the foot of the Cross. Even His disciples, His closest of friends, had deserted Him.

For the special few that made it all the way to the Cross, indescribable blessings were given from our compassionate Lord. If we consider what would’ve happened to St Mary after the death of her only Son, with no husband, life would have become extremely difficult for her in those days. He gave her John the Beloved to care for her. As for John the Beloved, the gift of having the Mother of God in his own household was a huge blessing and shows how much the Lord trusted him.

St Mary Magdalene received the honour of being the very first person that the gospels record the Lord appearing to after His resurrection. She was the first to see the risen Christ. Even those that were not at the foot of the Cross deliberately still received blessing. The Centurion, for example, had his eyes opened. It is even believed that this man became a martyr for the sake of the Lord.

There is power in being on the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. For us, we begin a journey this week. The ultimate aim is to power through right until the foot of the Cross.

There are a lot of tests and milestones along the way that we must pass to reach the foot of the Cross. The first milestone we encounter on the night of Palm Sunday. On Monday Eve, Christ asks the disciples a few questions – who do men say that I am? He then follows up with a more personal question – who do you say that I am? (Matthew 16:15)

It’s an unusual question. Why would the Lord care about what people were saying about Him? He knew that His disciples knew who He was. For us, we ask the Lord, “who do You say that I am?” Not what I think of God, but what does God think of me. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of me. It doesn’t matter how I outwardly appear to the world. It doesn’t matter if people look at me and think I am a great ambassador of the Lord. What matters is what the Lord thinks when He looks at my heart.

Lord, who do you say that I am?

It’s not a comfortable question for any of us to ask. We’re not sure what the Lord will say of us. Will He say that we were like John the Beloved, loving Him and always drawing near to Him, or if He will say, you’re like Judas, someone that betrayed for any price. We don’t know that the answer will be. We fear so many hidden things in our life that if people knew, they wouldn’t want to know us.

As uncomfortable as this question is to ask, it’s crucial for us if we want to make it to the foot of the Cross on Good Friday. Even if we don’t ask this question, we will hear the Lord’s answer on Judgement day. The Lord will tell us what He thought, and we will either enter the joy of the Lord or we will be cast into eternal condemnation.

In His mercy, we are given the opportunity to ask this question tonight while we have a chance to fix it. On Judgement Day, there will be no further opportunities to change, but now we have a chance. We have a chance to ask the Lord what we need to do to fix ourselves and draw near to Him.

Monday of Holy Week is the cursing of the fig tree, this is where the thousands that surrounded Jesus on Palm Sunday begin to drop off. The Lord is hungry and He sees a fig tree from a distance, full of leaves. The Lord makes the effort to draw near to the fig tree but when He arrives He sees that there is no fruit, just leaves. Apart from its appearance, there is no good in it. The Lord curses the fig tree, the very next day it withers away and dies. The church fathers teach us that this is a symbol of hypocrisy. There is nothing the Lord hates more than hypocrisy. The Lord was only firm with the Pharisees and scribes because of their hypocrisy.

We get on our knees in Holy Week and beg the Lord to show us what we are doing wrong and what we can do about it. We ask for His grace to change our life this year. We can make a change this Passion Week.

A life changing sermon was given by Fr Matta El Meskeen that outlines the steps toward answered prayer. Beg the Lord day and night to reveal your sins and weaknesses that keep you from Him. Pray for nothing else in one month, but day and night repeat this prayer – reveal the sins that are keeping me from coming to You, Lord. We can only ask this question if we are prepared to act upon what the Lord teaches us, to learn to fix our hearts and to see through the Lord’s eyes.

Lord, may You grant us clarity to see what separates us from You so that when Good Friday comes, we may see You in full clarity. May we increase our love for You, that it becomes easy to stop the sins we once loved that block us from You. My Saviour, may You help me reach the Cross so that I may sit at the foot of the Cross all day and see the depth of Your love for me and the depth of Your sacrifice. May I hear You say, “Enter my Beloved child in whom I am well pleased.”

?? Full Sermon ??

Holy Week in the Secret Place

Holy Week in the Secret Place

By Shery Abdelmalak


Your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” – (Matthew 6:4)

A wise person once told me that they knew their spiritual life was failing when they prayed more at church than they did at home, this is a sure sign of a spiritual slump. If I go to church regularly, if I serve regularly, these become my norm. I enjoy doing these things. I feel like I am doing good. My outward display to those around me and even to myself is favourable. I don’t feel the need to fix something that doesn’t appear to be broken.

But an honest spiritual life starts in a secret place. There are no hidden motives in the secret place. In your room, with the door closed, where no one knows what goes on. Only God knows for certain, and it is in the stillness of prayer that He listens and our relationship with Him begins. Oftentimes the secret place is sought for refuge from the problems of this world, we gain peace, we gain clarity and we slowly drift away until the next problem comes along. If we use prayer in this way, there is much lost. We leave before Christ’s biggest blessings of grace come to us. 

It is amazing how many people prefer service more than prayer. And reading more than prayer. And contemplation more than prayer. And attending religious gatherings more than prayer. That is why they fail in their relationship with God. They therefore meditate, read, have a service and attend their meetings, but are separated from God. There is no relationship.”

HH Pope Shenouda III

Pope Shenouda is amazed at how much we devalue prayer. All that he lists have an external element attached that distinguishes them from prayer. In prayer, there is no external display and if we are valuing other aspects of our spiritual life more than our internal prayer lives, then it almost begs the question; has my relationship with God even started?

In the holiest of weeks, we commence a spiritual journey to the Cross, we put to death our worldly image and learn to love God from the inside out, no distractions. We must remember that this world is deceitful; what seems to be normal in the world is not what God intended for His creation. This Holy Week presents the perfect time to find Christ in the secret place, while the churches remain closed. Just you and your Beloved.

We spend Holy Week asking the question, “who are You, Lord?” and “reveal my sins to me so that I may be more like You.” We encounter Christ in secret; “We pray not to inform God or instruct God but to ask earnestly, to become intimate with God, to be humbled and reminded of our sins” – St John Chrysostom 

HG Bishop Agathon once said that one single night at the monastery was the equivalent of ten years in the world. We know this to be true because of the reformation through prayer under the leadership of Pope Kyrillos VI. Fr Daniel Fanous says, “The broken [Patriarchal] staff, symbolic of a broken church, fractured and profusely bleeding, was placed in Kyrillos’ hands; and there, in twelve short years, it was mended and healed in ways that we will never truly comprehend.” In twelve years as Patriarch, he lifted the mocked Coptic church to the church that has spread to all nations, to nations that cannot imagine a life without it. 

Now, a different struggle, a spiritual life without the physical church. Maybe this is how we will be risen with Christ this Holy Week. To start from scratch, in our own home churches, in our cells, we can try to find Christ in the secret place. Maybe now is the time to emulate the words of St John Chrysostom when he said, “When you pray, set aside all turmoil, as if you were being joined by choirs of angels and singing with the seraphim.”

Fr Anthony Mourad says that the sweetness of God is seen in all the ways He has made lemonade out of the lemon that is coronavirus. One of those ways is in the secret place of isolation that we now find ourselves in. For the first time in any of our lifetimes, the church is closed during Holy Week. I don’t want to be anywhere other than the church in this week, but we must make lemonade out of what is the sourest of lemons. If it was in the secret place that Pope Kyrillos VI mended our entire church, Christ can mend and reignite our relationships with Him, to one of pure love, void of all external motives. 

Get your favourite deacons from Soundcloud ready! This is a Holy Week not to be missed! For the first few Good Fridays I can remember, Fr Yacoub would recite the Lamentations of Jeremiah and it didn’t feel the same when it wasn’t him, but now I know it will be him, it will be whoever I want it to be, no bad deacon voices this year! (but Jesus still thinks your voice is beautiful, Amen.) When I was in Egypt buying souvenirs, I saw this cute little shoraya that I thought would make a perfect candle holder. The lady selling it and my mum then proceeded to make some not funny Arabic jokes about how I wasn’t allowed to become a priest. That shoraya is now the most sought after object in our entire household. This is a year unlike any other, Fr Elijah told us to get excited for Lent, but now we get excited for a Holy Week that will be spent in our makeshift churches at home. The secret place is all we have left, but it is all we need.

❤️ Psalm 91 ❤️ Fr Yacoub’s Lamentations of Jeremiah ❤️

The Merciful

The Beatitudes Series Part 5

Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy

By Meray Shehata


Jesus tells us that if we are merciful to others, we can achieve mercy from the Creator. How is it that we can be merciful then? Having this ability to be merciful means that we are also in a position to do nothing or even worse to punish others. It means that we have power or a certain stature that’s higher but instead we choose compassion and forgiveness. It means
overlooking what’s easier and in our best interest at that moment to be more Christ-like.

In Leviticus (19:9) it is written “ When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest.” Imagine this land is your source of food, your source of money, it’s how you survive. Yet, God has commanded you not to make use of it, He has asked you to be poor, to be hungry and yearn
for more. Instead your profits and all your hard work will go to someone else who may not deserve it, someone who didn’t spend those long nights nurturing the plants and fruits as you did. Someone who while you put in the time and effort for these rewards may have been wasting their time and money away irresponsibly. To aggravate you even more, this person may have laughed at you, spoken evil about you behind your back and tried to poison your fruit. However, your commandment is much the same. Leave some of your profit for others.


What a cruel situation to be in, how unfair could our God be?
Although in reality, how cruel and unfair can we be? Aren’t we the undeserving going to Christ’s field and collecting the fruit without the slightest effort. Haven’t we pierced his side and placed a crown of thorns on His head? Haven’t we crucified Him and watched as His mother cried? Or worse, haven’t we denied Him and claimed that we are the reason that we
are reaping these fruits. How merciless can we be?

Now that we have acknowledged our evil, how is it that we can condemn others as evil? Is it right for us to place ourselves higher than others. Have we really the authority to condemn others when we ourselves were condemned once before? “ Let all the bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. And be kind hearted
to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you”
(Eph 4:31-32). Therefore as the sinless and pure lamb was sacrificed for your redemption must you show love and mercy for others.
Is it true though? Is showing love and mercy for the benefit others only? Or is it for us too?

Well for one God has promised us mercy if we show the same. Other than that, has it ever hurt being kind to someone? Maybe in the short term, you lose some time, you might be at a loss financially, or you may not enjoy it at the beginning. Give it time. Give it time to see the blessings pour in from your Saviour. Give it time to witness your life unfold in a way you couldn’t have imagined. Have a little faith, give a little goodness and God will give you unimaginable joy because He will be at your core.

Have mercy in your work as Jesus had mercy on the disciples when they slept rather than pray.
Have mercy in your house as Jesus took care of st. Mary unto His dying breath. Have mercy in your marriage as Jesus sacrificed Himself for His church.
Have mercy with your wealth as Jesus saved humanity without a cent in his pocket.
Have mercy with your children as God so loved us He gave his only begotten Son.
But most of all have mercy in your heart as Jesus has loved you.