relationship – Upper Room Media Blogs

When God Doesn’t Answer

When God Doesn’t Answer

“I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs.” (Luke 11:8)

So if Jesus said that if I keep asking for what I want, He will give it to me? If God hasn’t given me what I asked for, I just need to knock a little harder, do a couple more metanias and then He’ll give me what I want... right?

By misunderstanding of this parable, we take our desires and demand them to be heard. We beg God to give us that one blessing, that one job, that one career, that one boy/girl that will make us the happiest person in the world.

If we can Biblically justify our demands, then that makes them right, doesn’t it? There is much more to it that we all too willingly forget. The path to God is simple, yet we overcomplicate it when we twist God’s will with our own.

Oftentimes, our persistence in prayer is focused on our requests. But to persist in prayer is to persist in thanksgiving, to persist in repentance, to persist to know Him, to persist in making Him the love of my life. Our contentment is found in things above, and not in the distractions of this world. It would be quite unlike God to give us ONLY what we pray for.

Our God is sufficient for every need, and if we persist, He will be everything we want, too. Whatever matters to us, matters to Him. God plants desires in all our hearts so that He can make His Love manifest in our lives. The desires themselves may seem like the goal, but each request can serve as a stepping stone to a life in Christ. In petitioning, we may confuse Christ as the means to reach the request. Persisting, in the answered and unanswered, will see Christ become the end goal, and each request a stepping stone toward Him, and this will always be more than enough.

He says, ask that your joy may be full. Don’t ask for the temporal. Ask for the eternal that never fades. Come boldly before the throne of grace. Why ask for things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things? We persist for the eternal over the temporal. There may be nothing wrong with what you have asked for, but there’s more He wants to give you.

Every prayer at the point of desperation becomes the source of contentment to the soul in need. Hold tight; the best is yet to come. When we persist in prayer, we stop breaking His door down for what we want in this world, and start searching until we understand the depths of His love, and if that is the goal, whenever we think we know Him, He outdoes Him, time and time again, for His love is boundless. When He tells us to persist in prayer, we persist because we will forever be searching deeper to know His love. Our requests will come and go, but His Love remains.

Often when you’ve been praying for something for so long and God doesn’t
give it to you, this can make prayers dry; it can make prayers fade away. If we persist for the eternal – the imperishable – then we can never be disappointed.

The path to the Kingdom is through a life of thanksgiving, in thanksgiving there are no desires above the One that provides all. Start every prayer in thanksgiving. As for problems, the best kind are the ones that seem completely hopeless. The ones where you feel you have nowhere to turn. The ones that leave you broken-hearted. For it is the broken-hearted whom the Lord heals. It is the poor in spirit that see God. If God is naturally drawn to us in our state of exhaustion and depletion, how much more will He reveal Himself to those that continue to pray while in that state?

May we never allow worldly cares to stop us from true prayer and communion with Christ and all orders of heavenly hosts. Glory be to God forever Amen.

The Realest Relationship

The Realest Relationship

Adapted from The Purpose Podcast, hosted by Christina Ibrahim and Daniel Mawad, featuring Fr Mark Basily

To understand the concept of having a relationship with God, we look back at the beginning of creation of man. This begins to give us an explanation of the necessity of a relationship with Christ, or the purpose of even knowing Him.

This begs the question, why did God create us? Sometimes we need to look beyond the standard answer of, “God is Love,” or “He did it because He loves us.” Anything more than this may seem too difficult to comprehend.

To answer the big questions, we can start with smaller questions; why do I want to have children?

If you think of it logically, it doesn’t make sense. Kids are a drainer; they drain your money, your time, your sleep. And they give you nothing in return. The reason why there is an inherent desire for children is the promise of a potential relationship. This compels us to have children. To share love. To enjoy life.

From here, we begin to see why Christ wants to have a relationship with His creation. The purpose of creation is to form a relationship, God is Love, and wants to share that love. This may suggest that God was missing something before the creation of man. The belief in the Trinity and the three Persons of the Trinity nullifies this theory.

God was not alone, and therefore did not need creation. He was already in a relationship with the Persons of the Trinity. What makes Christianity unique is that it was always about a relationship. God wanted to be in a relationship with humanity.

Thus, sin can be seen as a break in the relationship with Christ. Religion poses a series of rules, if you break one of these rules then you have sinned. This is a constrained way of living, because if I step out of line that would make me a sinner.

As Christians, this is not how we perceive our all-loving God. All throughout scripture, God presented Himself to the church as the Bridegroom. If this is the relationship – as close as a bride and groom – then any break is not just sin but adultery. It is being unfaithful to your Beloved. Christ presented it in this way is to show that sin is missing the mark in your relationship with Him; not a set of rules.

A key difference in our relationship of God compared to our relationships with others is that God will never give up on us. God gives us free-will and the ball is always in our court to make a change. For as long as there is breath within us, we are given the opportunity to know Christ. He presents Himself as a waiting Father, take the parable of the prodigal son for example. The father waits for his son’s return. He never gives up on creation.

Despite this, we, as humans do not always want a relationship with Christ, even as Christians. As humans, we’re clever at burying our heads in the sand. We search for happiness and are often willing to pursue Christ if this doesn’t bring us immediate satisfaction. Christianity can be too much, sometimes I just want to live day to day, enjoy life. I don’t want to think too deeply. It can be a struggle to be happy when trying to maintain a relationship with Christ.

How do we get to a point where we are happy to strive for a relationship? There are so many dimensions to take into consideration. If we have a journey with Christ, we progress toward a destination, we should be quite confident that we are developing a relationship. We are all at different levels, but on a journey. I know Christ and I’m growing in faith over time. I haven’t reached the destination but I am on a path that will lead to Christ. I’m not proud because I’ve made it and I do not despair because I haven’t reached my destination yet.

What should we expect on the journey? We all have a cross to carry, and the answer can seem to be that if you have relationship with Christ then that is the solution. A relationship with Christ transforms our life. It transforms the good times and the tough times. When you are connected to Christ, you have His support, you have power, you have patience, you have hope for a better tomorrow. The reality is that we receive power by being connected to Him. When going through difficult times, they don’t go away but I am given strength to push forward. In times of joy, He magnifies my joy.

Having a relationship with Christ is transformative, and pleasantly surprising even at the start. We are more than physical beings, we have spirits and souls, we have been breathed on by the breath of God. If we only live physical lives, then we cannot be fully content. As soon as we embark on a relationship with Christ, the void begins to be filled and this is most transformative part of a relationship with Christ.

Our life should be viewed in the context of eternity. Some people have extremely difficult lives. A relationship with Christ helps, but it doesn’t make our problems disappear. Christ Himself said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33.

He doesn’t say, I will take away your problems, He says I have overcome the world. Be of good cheer because there is another world to come. Even when I struggle, I have another life to look forward to, and this is my hope in Jesus Christ. Will the relationship help with my issues? Yes, it definitely helps, and there is power and strength to help me overcome, but they do not disappear.

If we want to start a relationship with Christ, the journey begins with communication. Narrow is the path that leads to life and not many find it. The followers of Christ are the minority. People come to realise that there is a place for Christ.

When you come to realise that nothing in this life satisfies you, there is only one conclusion – that you were created for another life
C.S. Lewis

We must have been created for something more than the temporal world we know. Not only do we claim eternity, but we enjoy life on earth in a different way. When you taste God, the struggle becomes more beautiful, all good things take hard work. Doesn’t mean that it’s not genuine because it’s a struggle. On the contrary, anything that is precious, requires effort.

Our lives can be transformed if we see Christianity as a relationship with Christ. It is the pearl of great price.

The Fullness of Life

The Fullness of Life

Adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily

Passage: John 15:26-16:15

We celebrate the feast of the Pentecost, 50 days after the crucifixion. The day after Pentecost, we start fasting again. On a day like this our minds consider, what are we going to eat tonight? What do we want to eat just before the fast? How much can we eat?

We get really full as though what we eat will sustain us for the next month or so of fasting. There is another kind of fullness that is taking place of this feast day, beyond eating. St Luke gives the entire passage of his description of what took place on the day of Pentecost.

He says, “When the day of Pentecost had fully come” (Acts 2:2). He mentions Pentecost as though the reader knew what is was. This was because Pentecost was a Jewish feast, celebrated 50 days after the Passover. Pentecost meant 50, like a pentagon has 5 sides, the Pentecost was celebrated 50 days after the Passover.

On the day of Pentecost, it was a celebration of the day that they received the law on Mount Sinai. It was also a time that they would bring the first fruits of the harvest. Many of the major Christian events take place on major Jewish dates. On these dates, Jews would travel to Jerusalem to partake of the feast. The Crucifixion took place on the day of Passover. This was to fulfil the law firstly. Also, there were thousands of people gathered from the surrounding villages to celebrate the Passover. When everyone is there and everyone can see, Christ is crucified.

Again, thousands of people flocking into Jerusalem for Pentecost to offer the fruit fruits of their harvest, and then, the Holy Spirit descends. Everyone is there to see, everyone can hear the message. This is why it was essential that the disciples could speak in different languages to cater for all the people that had come from surrounding villages. God uses prime time events for everyone to see and witness. St Luke says, “When the day of Pentecost had fully come. Why not just when the day had Pentecost had come? Why use the word fully?

Scholars suggest that St Luke was deliberately using this word as a running theme throughout his entire book of Acts;

Acts 2: 4. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
Acts 2:28. You will make me full of joy in Your presence.
Acts 4:8. Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit
Acts 4:31. and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.
Acts 5:3. why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the price of the land for yourself?
Acts 6:5. And they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit
Acts 13:52. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

These, among other examples, were St Luke’s way of emphasising the fullness of the Holy Spirit. That the Holy Spirit would fill them, would fill their lives, would fill their church.

This is the fullness we need to search for in our lives. To be filled with the Holy Spirit. St Seraphim of Sarov, a famous Russian monk of the 20^th century, wrote a beautiful book called Acquiring the Holy Spirit.

He says, “the aim of your Christian life is the acquisition of the Holy Spirit.”

“What do you mean by acquiring?” I asked St. Seraphim. “Somehow I don’t understand that.”
“Acquiring is the same as obtaining,” he replied. “Do you understand, what acquiring money means? Acquiring the Spirit of God is exactly the same. You know very well enough what it means to acquire in a worldly sense, your Godliness. The aim of ordinary worldly people is to acquire or make money; and for the nobility, it is in addition to receive honors, distinctions and other rewards for their services to the government. The acquisition of God’s Spirit is also capital, but grace-giving and eternal, and it is obtained in very similar ways, almost the same ways as monetary, social and temporal capital.
“God the Word, the God-Man, our Lord Jesus Christ, compares our life with the market, and the work of our life on earth He calls trading. He says to us all: “Trade till I come” (Lk. 19:13), “buying up every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). In other words, make the most of your time getting heavenly blessings through earthly goods. Earthly goods are good works done for Christ’s sake that confer the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, on us.”

Before we can even begin to obtain or acquire, we must know – who is the Holy Spirit? Mark Sidhom once asked a group of pre-servants to describe the characteristics of the Holy Spirit.

One said, “It’s the Comforter.” To which he responded, “Wrong.”

Another said, “It is the Spirit of God that fills your heart.” Again, wrong.

Something that makes you feel peaceful? Wrong.

This continued until finally he explained that the problem was that all these answers began with, “It’s.” The Holy Spirit is a Person. He is the Comforter. He is God’s Spirit that fills your heart. He is what gives you peace. He is a Person of the Holy Trinity. He is One whom we can have a relationship with. He is the One that we can be filled with. The Holy Spirit dwells in us that we can acquire Him, obtain Him, be filled with Him and live with Him.

This coming period of the Apostles fast in the time in which we acquire the Holy Spirit. Let us consider what a church that is full of the Holy Spirit looks like. What does a home that is filled with the Holy Spirit look like? What does a father that is filled with the Holy Spirit look like? A wife, a youth, a child? What do I look like when I am filled with the Holy Spirit. Let us spend this Apostles’ fast asking these questions.

? Full sermon ?

Holy Week in the Secret Place

Holy Week in the Secret Place

By Shery Abdelmalak

“Your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” – (Matthew 6:4)

A wise person once told me that they knew their spiritual life was failing when they prayed more at church than they did at home, this is a sure sign of a spiritual slump. If I go to church regularly, if I serve regularly, these become my norm. I enjoy doing these things. I feel like I am doing good. My outward display to those around me and even to myself is favourable. I don’t feel the need to fix something that doesn’t appear to be broken.

But an honest spiritual life starts in a secret place. There are no hidden motives in the secret place. In your room, with the door closed, where no one knows what goes on. Only God knows for certain, and it is in the stillness of prayer that He listens and our relationship with Him begins. Oftentimes the secret place is sought for refuge from the problems of this world, we gain peace, we gain clarity and we slowly drift away until the next problem comes along. If we use prayer in this way, there is much lost. We leave before Christ’s biggest blessings of grace come to us.

“It is amazing how many people prefer service more than prayer. And reading more than prayer. And contemplation more than prayer. And attending religious gatherings more than prayer. That is why they fail in their relationship with God. They therefore meditate, read, have a service and attend their meetings, but are separated from God. There is no relationship.”
HH Pope Shenouda III

Pope Shenouda is amazed at how much we devalue prayer. All that he lists have an external element attached that distinguishes them from prayer. In prayer, there is no external display and if we are valuing other aspects of our spiritual life more than our internal prayer lives, then it almost begs the question; has my relationship with God even started?

In the holiest of weeks, we commence a spiritual journey to the Cross, we put to death our worldly image and learn to love God from the inside out, no distractions. We must remember that this world is deceitful; what seems to be normal in the world is not what God intended for His creation. This Holy Week presents the perfect time to find Christ in the secret place, while the churches remain closed. Just you and your Beloved.

We spend Holy Week asking the question, “who are You, Lord?” and “reveal my sins to me so that I may be more like You.” We encounter Christ in secret; “We pray not to inform God or instruct God but to ask earnestly, to become intimate with God, to be humbled and reminded of our sins” – St John Chrysostom

HG Bishop Agathon once said that one single night at the monastery was the equivalent of ten years in the world. We know this to be true because of the reformation through prayer under the leadership of Pope Kyrillos VI. Fr Daniel Fanous says, “The broken [Patriarchal] staff, symbolic of a broken church, fractured and profusely bleeding, was placed in Kyrillos’ hands; and there, in twelve short years, it was mended and healed in ways that we will never truly comprehend.” In twelve years as Patriarch, he lifted the mocked Coptic church to the church that has spread to all nations, to nations that cannot imagine a life without it.

Now, a different struggle, a spiritual life without the physical church. Maybe this is how we will be risen with Christ this Holy Week. To start from scratch, in our own home churches, in our cells, we can try to find Christ in the secret place. Maybe now is the time to emulate the words of St John Chrysostom when he said, “When you pray, set aside all turmoil, as if you were being joined by choirs of angels and singing with the seraphim.”

Fr Anthony Mourad says that the sweetness of God is seen in all the ways He has made lemonade out of the lemon that is coronavirus. One of those ways is in the secret place of isolation that we now find ourselves in. For the first time in any of our lifetimes, the church is closed during Holy Week. I don’t want to be anywhere other than the church in this week, but we must make lemonade out of what is the sourest of lemons. If it was in the secret place that Pope Kyrillos VI mended our entire church, Christ can mend and reignite our relationships with Him, to one of pure love, void of all external motives.

Get your favourite deacons from Soundcloud ready! This is a Holy Week not to be missed! For the first few Good Fridays I can remember, Fr Yacoub would recite the Lamentations of Jeremiah and it didn’t feel the same when it wasn’t him, but now I know it will be him, it will be whoever I want it to be, no bad deacon voices this year! (but Jesus still thinks your voice is beautiful, Amen.) When I was in Egypt buying souvenirs, I saw this cute little shoraya that I thought would make a perfect candle holder. The lady selling it and my mum then proceeded to make some not funny Arabic jokes about how I wasn’t allowed to become a priest. That shoraya is now the most sought after object in our entire household. This is a year unlike any other, Fr Elijah told us to get excited for Lent, but now we get excited for a Holy Week that will be spent in our makeshift churches at home. The secret place is all we have left, but it is all we need.

❤️ Psalm 91 ❤️ Fr Yacoub’s Lamentations of Jeremiah ❤️

Lord Teach Us to Pray Part 2

Lord, Teach Us To Pray

Part 2

by Andrew Boutros

What is prayer?

Prayer in its simplest form is heart to heart conversation between you & God. It’s easier said than done, right? If it’s just that easy than why are we all struggling to pray? Why are so many people having hard time listening to God speak back to them? Why do we all feel at many points in our lives that our prayers hit the ceiling and come back to us empty?

There are so many reasons why we experience this in our spiritual lives, but I will only cover a few in this blog. If we believe and agree that prayer in its simplest form is a HEART to HEART conversation between us and God than we ought to diagnose the condition of our hearts first. Imagine with me, you are driving your car on the freeway and you see a light in your dashboard indicating that you need to adjust your tires, it’s called the pressure warning light. You have two choices, either you continue your journey and postpone it, or you exit from the freeway to the nearest gas station to adjust your tires. The choice is yours & yours alone! There are signs that you can look for in your life that will indicate the condition of your heart and prayer is one of the signs that will show that to you.

St. Mark the Ascetic said, “We should often, if not daily, examine our souls and repent of the sins that we find there.” Examining the conditions of our hearts is an essential first step in learning how to pray. If I don’t know what’s blocking me internally from listening or talking to God, then I am likely to give up on prayer and in turn, give up on God after only a few attempts.

St Basil the Great also said “One cannot approach the knowledge of the Truth with a disturbed heart. Therefore, we must try to avoid everything that disturbs our heart, that causes forgetfulness, excitement, or passion that awakens unrest.”

Second step that we need to do so we can learn how to pray is to define the why, to set intentions. The German philosopher Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” This concept is true in so many aspects in our lives especially our spiritual lives, if we go to church Sunday mornings aimlessly with no purpose then we won’t benefit much of the readings, prayers, and communion.

If we stand in prayer aimlessly with no purpose then we won’t enjoy, benefit and experience the peace that God has for us. The disciples went to Jesus one day after he finished His prayers and told Him “Lord, teach us to pray.” Titus of Bostra, a Christian Theologian commented on this request saying, “The disciples having seen a new way of life, desire a new form of prayer, since there were several prayers to be found in the Old Testament.” St. Gregory of Nyssa also commented on this request saying, “He unfolds the teaching of prayer to his disciples who wisely desire the knowledge of prayer, directing them how they out to beseech God to hear them.” When you go in to pray with the purpose and intention of connecting with God and enjoying His presence, you will benefit 100% more than going into prayer aimlessly or because prayer became some sort of routine for you.

After you examine the condition of your heart and set intentions ,the next step is to ask God to teach you how to pray exactly as the disciples did. It’s a simple step yet we struggle to do it. One of the early church fathers instructs us saying “prayer is action. To pray is to be highly effective, it’s be speaking a foreign language that one learns it, and by praying one learns to pray.” So, stand in front of God and tell Him “Lord I’m clueless, Lord Jesus I’m lost, I tried before and failed and have no desire, motive or passion to pray anymore. Can you please teach me how to pray? Can you teach me how to enjoy being in your presence? Can you open my eyes to the blessings you have for me? Teach me Lord how to love you and how to fall in love with you. Teach me Lord to how abide in you.”

Start small and seek help and watch what God will do in your life and with your life. St. Theophan the Recluse said “Nothing comes without effort. The help of God is always ready and always near but is given only to those who seek and work, and only to those seekers who are after putting all their powers to test, cry out their whole heart ‘Lord help us.’”

Our Relationship With God

Our Relationship with God

Sermon by Bishop David (Bishop of NY & NE, USA)
Article by St Mark’s Youth

If an Orthodox Christian were asked to name the most important thing regarding their spiritual life, the answer would be “my relationship with God”. How well we know God, through not only our personal but communal worship, ultimately determines our salvation. This important relationship is determined by our understanding of who God is, i.e. the God-image we have created in our minds. The focuses of today’s sermon are the famous Parable of the Talents and The Prodigal Son, taken from the Gospel according to St Matthew (Matthew 14-30) and St Luke (Luke 15:11-32). By analyzing the three main characters of these parables, Bishop David talks to us today about three different levels of relationships.

1. The Relationship of the Slave

In the parable of the talents, upon being asked for a return on the talent he had received, the wicked servant said “Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed” (v 24). Already, this servant created the false image of a purely vengeful God in his mind. A God who is unfair and claims what He has not worked for. Hence, due to tremendous fear, the servant said, “I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground” (v 25). We must ask ourselves, is this me? Is this how I view God? Bishop David says that the problem with this relationship is that it is based only on fear of God or the gravity of His punishments. There is a lack of love in this relationship. If our image of God is like this wicked servant, then we will very likely behave like him and likewise be cast “into the outer darkness” (v 30).

2. The Relationship of the Hired Servant
Using the example of the parable of the prodigal son, Bishop David reminds us that a hired servant is one who works, earns his pay and leaves at the end of the day. When the son returned to his father, he asked to be treated as one of the “hired servants” (Luke 15:11-32). Bishop David teaches us that the secret in this parable is that the son did not want to come back with all his heart but rather wanted to work as a hired servant. The son forgot who he was to his father and just wanted things of this world. Do we have this transactional relationship with God? Do we come to God chasing after money, careers or good grades rather than Him? As sayedna said, “This is the problem with the hired servants. They come to church because they need something from God.” Like cleaner fish to a whale, so also are these hired servants to God. Once again this affiliation with God emerges when one imagines God as merely a giver of things and not a Giver of life.

3. The Relationship of the Son
The relationship of the son is ultimately centered on love for God; As it is written, “We love Him because He first loved us”. The son realises that by grace, through baptism and living the life of the church, he will inherit the kingdom of God and so, in turn, seeks after it. The son’s eyes are not focused on the Earth, but rather, on God and His Heaven. He correctly understands God to be the one who “so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever should believe in Him should never perish but have eternal life”. (John 3:16). When God gives the son things, he is joyful not because of the gift but because God is the Giver. Bishop David provides us with a very beautiful example to explain this relationship: When a husband gives a wife a wedding anniversary present, though the gift may not have much value itself, the wife is extremely joyful because it came from her husband. Likewise the source of the son’s joy is God and subsequently, his relationship is one of love.

May the Lord give us the grace to understand that we are His beloved children whom He holds dear. As it is written, “he who touches you touches the apple of His eye” (Zechariah 2:8). We pray that the Lord give us a better understanding of who He is so that we may worship Him in love and enter into His joy in the last day.

Glory be to God Amen.