Because He first Loved Us
By Pola Fanous
We love, because He first loved us. And how could it be any other way? In John 5:19, Jesus makes it clear that: “… the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do.” It is only in imitation of Christ that we are able to love at all. Just as it is only by following Him to Golgotha, that we rise into Paradise with Him; only by sharing in His crucifixion, that we share in His resurrection. As spiritual beings, we know that love is the most natural thing on earth and in heaven. When we reject our divinity, we banish ourselves from the paradise of joy and are limited to primitive modes of being. We become mere self-centred animals to whom love is foolish and selfishness is wisdom. The charity at the heart of Agape love goes against the ethic of self-preservation in evolutionary theory. How fortunate we are, then, to have the wondrous example of Christ to protect us from selfishness:
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.”
John 13:14-15
As Christ loves and protects His Church – evermore – so too does a godly husband love his wife! Without our God and his eternal and enduring example, how could we begin to stand a chance? St John Chrysostom, drawing on Christ’s example, advises husbands on how to address their brides:
“I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.”
St John Chrysostom, 20th Homily on Ephesians
In reading these words, my heart not only rejoices, but I marvel at the enormity of our God who is love in all its forms, including Eros! In Song of Songs, we see Christ’s intimacy with the Church demonstrated in erotic poetry so beautiful it eclipses the thousands of love poems I’ve read: “
Your navel is like an elaborate bowl… Your two breasts are like two fawns, the twins of a gazelle… And the fragrance of your nose like apples… Set me as a seal upon your heart.
Song of Songs 7-8
We must not forget that not only is Christ our example, He is Love incarnate. We cannot love without knowing love, and so, we cannot love without knowing God;
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7-8
Indeed, St Simeon the New Theologian writes of the Holy Spirit as the embodiment of God’s love – moving us, stirring us and inspiring us:
O Holy Love, he who knows you not has never tasted the sweetness of your mercies which only living experience can give us. But he who has known you, or who has been known by you, can never have even the smallest doubt. For you are the fulfilment of the law, you who fills, burns, inflames, embraces my heart with a measureless love. You are the teacher of the prophets, the offspring of the apostles, the strength of the martyrs, the inspiration of the fathers and masters, the perfecting of all the saints. Only you, O Love, prepare even me for the true service of God”
Saint Simeon the New Theologian, 11th c, Homily 53
Here, St Simeon speaks of Phila – the form of love most commonly called friendship. This too, must first be shared between man and God – for what greater friend have we than the King of Kings? In Exodus, God spoke to Moses like a man speaks to a friend; in James, God calls Abraham his friend. In John, God goes one step further, revealing that we who do his will are counted as his friends:
“You are my friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing, but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from my father, I have made known to you.”
John 15:14-15
It is clear then, that love as Agape, love as Eros and love as Phila – are all spiritual forms of love, all beautiful, all sanctified, all demonstrated and gifted to us by our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ. However, we must also remember one final form of love – love as divine and perfect grace! We are only alive today because of God’s perfect sacrifice on the cross, his saving love towards us.
In short, we love because He first loved us: on every level, in every form, in every way. Glory be to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords: our rescue, our hope, our example and always – Our Love.