The Battle in Eden
By Sarah Beshay
How long would you have lasted in the garden of Eden?
‘For no one is clean from the stain of sin even if his life on earth has been but for one day’ (Letter 133.2 – Saint Jerome).
As Saint Jerome wisely spoke, I have come to realise that my strive to live a sinless life, for even a day, is impossible. Not just impossible, but a never-ending battle. It’s a spiritual war. One where I’m ‘wrestling against powers and principalities’ (Ephesians 6:12). For I am warned, that the Devil, the ‘highest of angels’ who by his pride fell, is the ‘father of lies’ (John 8:44). The cunning deadly beast. He slithers around observing his prey before he attacks them at their most vulnerable, lowest moment. I wonder what Eve was doing at that moment? As for myself, I imagine I would have been pondering and drifting into my own thoughts whilst strolling for the first time down through the Garden. So just as Eve was deceived into the Serpent’s craftiness at that solitary moment, I, without a doubt, wouldn’t have been any stronger nor wiser than the Mother of All the Living to surpass his temptation. The matter as to how long I would have lasted in Eden, well for me, that answer is, at most, not even a day following my creation. But before my Creator, the answer is irrelevant, ’for a thousand years in His sight, are like yesterday when it is past’ (Psalm 90:4).
‘For what I will to do, [abide by the Law], I do not practice, but what I hate, [that which is evil], that I do’ (Romans 7:15-20).
For in the end, I am only human, like Eve, limited in the flesh. For ‘my spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak’ (Mathew 26:41). Not that my flesh is evil, but that my roaring flesh is not as great as my soaring spirit. For my flesh has less of reason and discretion. If it is not led by the spirit it will eventually indulge in what it pleases and become carnally minded. I whose body obtained mortality, because it became an easy prey to sin (St John Chrysostom). For once Eve was tempted, ‘she saw that the tree was good for food, pleasant to the eyes and a tree desirable to make one wise, and ate of its fruit’ (Genesis 3:6). So, it is true, that for ‘all that is in the world are the desires of the flesh, desires of the eyes and the pride of life’ (1 John 2:16). I know not where the Garden of Eden was located, but it truly was a slice of paradise on earth. One that I lost at first sight. Therefore, I was prone to sin at any instant, by one of these ways or another, being born in the flesh on earth. I too am ‘bound to have fallen by the guile of the enemy and by my own free will disobeyed God’s holy commandments, [separating myself from my Creator] and bringing upon myself the sentence of death’ (The Liturgy of Saint Gregory the Theologian).
‘When your enemy presses in hard do not fear. The battle belongs to the Lord! Take courage my friend, your redemption is near. The battle belongs to the Lord’!
The Battle Belongs to the Lord by Petra (Hymn)
What this means for me is that this is not a war that I can conquer alone. So, what can I do? I can only lean on God, for it is God’s war, for He is my divine spiritual source. I will firstly ‘come to the holy font, wash in saving baptism and be renewed in the bath of rebirth’ (Sermons 213.8 – Saint Augustine). In Eden I ate what was hanging from the tree and thereby died, in the Holy Liturgy I eat what was hanging from the tree and thereby live. For by both Baptism and the Holy Eucharist I will come into union with God again. Now He has given me the Holy Spirit to work within me. And as long as I am feeding the flame of the Holy Spirit by living in the spirit, ‘He shall convict me of sin’ (John 16:8) and encourage me to do what is right. I shall ‘put on the full armour of God’ (Ephesians 6:10). to defend myself in this battle. That is by dwelling in Faith, the Word of God and by Prayer in the Spirit. I shall rise, repent and return to my Creator.
So at an end, in my daily reality and challenges of life, I will confirm to these things, and I will unworthily cry to you my Master: ‘to forgive those sins I have committed this day, whether by action, by word, by thought or any of my senses’ (The Absolution of the Twelfth Hour – Agpia). And ‘to absolve, forgive, and remit my transgressions; those committed willingly and those committed unwillingly, those committed knowingly and those committed unknowingly, the hidden and manifest’ (Holy, Holy, Holy – Agpia). I plead to You oh Lord, ‘for ten thousand times ten thousand sins are too few for Your mercy to forgive in one hour’ (Saint Athanasius of Alexandria).