When Every Door Seems Closed
Translated from a sermon by Fr Daoud Lamei
Frequently I get messages from a lot of people with the same problem. People that feel like they have reached a dead end. People that feel like there is no way out. People that feel like they have been crying out to God for years and years and He just won’t listen.
Where is God? Why hasn’t my problem been solved? My hope is lost. I can’t see the light at the end of tunnel. What did I do wrong? I wouldn’t mind if He told me my mistake, just as long as I can fix it.
Sometimes, we truly feel that the door is completely shut. This is a difficult feeling to overcome. We lock ourselves up in an internal prison of anxiety and fear. We become easily agitated and feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Most of the time it is because we are waiting for a specific answer from God. We beg for relief, but we find nothing. I pray that He helps me to forget my problem, yet it remains. I pray for what I desire, and I hear nothing in return. I pray something different, and still no answer. I become fed up, I have had enough, and still, no answer.
A lot of times, I am not even encouraged by others. I tell them my problems and they respond perplexed and say, “what’s wrong with you? Everyone is living the same as you.”
On the outside, there is no more struggle visible than the usual, but the battle lies within. The inner may be full of despair but outwardly, people’s problems appear similar. No one can find good help, no one can get married, no one can find a good job, you hear this and suddenly, you have no right to complain about your own problems. Naturally, you can’t complain because of those that may look down on you like you have some kind of heightened sense of self worse. Others can make you feel like you are the one that is compounding your own problems.
Here is an opportunity to bring yourself back down to earth. The most difficult thing in the spiritual life is the ego. When my thoughts are centred around me and my needs. The ego presents a huge hurdle that we cannot jump over easily. If money is a problem this can be easily overcome in comparison. Even lust seems like an easy hurdle compared to the ego. The ego is our most difficult hurdle.
When we see a door close before us, the first thing that this will trigger is our ego. For any self-confidence, any pride, any cause for boasting, this is all destroyed by the door that is shut in our face. We become grounded once more, and the ego breaks. At this point, we have an opportunity to attain the first blessing we forgot would gain us the Kingdom; blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
The one that is poor in Spirit is the one that goes to God, completely void of self, a beggar before their Master, the lowest person in the world. We all pray, but the number of times we pray and we cry from the depth of our hearts, we could count on one hand. Our prayers during these times most likely came from a door that was shut before us.
When you feel like your hands are tied, or a problem that seems like there is no solution, the only thing you can do is beg and cry for help – to cry for help like Jonah from the belly of the whale when there was nowhere to escape.
This is what God wants – for these are the prayers that will change our hearts and minds. When you get to the point where you cry out from the depth of your heart. God wants this part of our hearts. Every night we pray – Out of depths I have cried to You, O’Lord! Hear my prayers (Ps 130:1; Twelfth hour Agpia prayers)
What depths are we attaining on a nightly basis? On most nights, this doesn’t even come from the depth of our mouths! What is there for God to hear, when there is barely a sound coming from your mouth, let alone a yearning cry. We say words, but our hears are elsewhere.
Christ appeared from the shut doors. He didn’t open the doors. We must remember this when we pray. He appears suddenly and asks, “can you tell Me why you’re upset? What is on your mind?”
When you start thinking about why you’re upset, you think that you’re being silly. You think to yourself, “why am I being like this? God loves me and heaven is waiting for me. The Holy Spirit is in me. I have been forgiven. Why am I being like this? Every solution has a problem. The promises have never let me down. The doors weren’t shut before, but I was the one that shut the doors.”
When you see Christ standing before you, smiling brightly saying, “Peace be with you.” He means wake up. The situation is simple. After every closed comes an open door. Sometimes we think that the door is closed forever, but a more glorious door opens out of nowhere.
The door was closed before David for almost fifteen years, he was a fugitive, treated like a wild animal in the wilderness. When the doors opened, he became the greatest king in the history of Israel. He was likened to Christ and is known forever as the grandfather from whose lineage Christ came.
Jonah thought the end was near for him when he cried out from the belly of the whale, but not only was he saved from the belly of the whale but a whole city received salvation.
The doors that are shut must eventually open. The stories we read from the Bible are the same stories that we live. There is no problem that does not have a solution. There is no crisis that will not end. There is no pain without relief. There is no death without resurrection. There are no other options – a door must open.
When you remember the tough times, the times of struggle, the times when you thought you had no way out, you find that this is the path to big rewards that were unconceived in your mind before. These were the days that taught you patience. These were the days that taught you how to pray. These were the times that you were granted wisdom and learnt the meaning of Love for God and your neighbours.