Why Should I Love My Enemies?
adapted from a sermon by Fr Mark Basily
Reading: Matthew 5
Love your enemies – the commandment that is so synonymous with Christianity. We all know this verse well and love to hear it. What a high moral standard; to love an enemy.
Although we love it for its beauty and its poetic nature, we often relegate it to the irrationality in a practical sense. We don’t really take it seriously. When the Bible says, “if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.” We don’t then go and actually pluck it out. We treat this verse in a similar fashion. I can’t really love my enemies.
It doesn’t even make sense. If someone is an enemy, how can you love them?
As a priest, we have the honour and privilege to be invited into the lives of those whom we serve. We share in their life journey and their challenges. One of the most common struggles, is the struggle to love someone that has hurt you, someone that you cannot stand to be around.
As a priest, we try to challenge and stretch people to love; to love the unlovable and to love our enemies. The response is always similar. HOW can I love them after they have hurt me so deeply? I cannot even bare to be around them, let alone love them, or trust them even.
This response comes from the way we interpret love. Particularly in the English language, “love” has become a word that is wrapped up in emotions and feelings. When we hear the word, “love,” we think of warm and fuzzy feelings. I delight to be in the presence of the ones I love. It is something I look forward to.
When Christ gives us the commandment to love our enemies, it is more than just a feeling or emotion. After Christ gives this command, He unpacks and explains how you can love your enemies. There are three concrete methods to love an enemy or someone who has hurt you.
1. do good to those who hate you
Christ is not saying you have to have good feelings toward them. This is not about emotions. He is saying to do good actions. Do good to those who hate you. Take action. Do something good for them. Doesn’t matter if you can’t stand them, doesn’t matter if cannot bare to be in the same room as them. You may never lose the hurt, you may never forget what they did. Despite all of this, do good actions toward them. This is the first way we can love our enemies.
2. Bless those who curse you
Blessings come from the mouth. We bless others with our words. Give them a good word. I can say nice things, and this is how I show love to my enemies.
3. Pray for those who spitefully use you.
It is so important that we remember to pray for those who have hurt us. We pray for our enemies. This is the most critical. To do good and to bless our enemies requires interaction, but to pray for them does not require interaction. This is only between you and our Lord. You open your heart to the Lord to wish them well. To pray an hour of the Agpia dedicated to that one person. To do metanias to that person that has hurt you.
I am confident that if we follow Christ’s three methods of loving our enemies, then the emotions will follow. The heart will follow and we will love our enemies.
Christ gives us more specific examples. To do good to those who hate you, is to turn to the other cheek to the one that strikes you. To do good is to offer your jumper to the one that steals your cloak. If someone takes from you, do not ask for it back. A whole collection of irrational actions. No one in this world could function in this way.
Christ is teaching us that it is not irrational, but super rational. These are commandments that do not follow the logic of this world but the logic of the Kingdom to come. The logic of Christ.
Where did Christ speak these words? This was part of the Sermon on the Mount. Just before this commandment came the Beatitudes. The Beatitudes is a collection of illogical statements. Since when is it good to be poor? But Christ is saying, “blessed are the poor” and “blessed are you when you weep” and “blessed are you when men hate you.”
Then even, “woe to you who are rich,” “woe to you who laugh” and “woe to you when men speak well of you.”
When Christ teaches, He shocks and surprises. He turns the world upside down. The logic that you function with is not the logic of My Kingdom. When Christ speaks a collection of illogical statement and continues with further irrationality to love our enemies. This is not the logic of this world but the logic of Christ Himself.
What did Christ do when He was struck on the cheek? He did not fight back. He is the One who was rich and became poor for us. He is One who gave up everything for us, expecting nothing in return. He is the One that gave His life for us, knowing He would be rejected. This is logic of Jesus. This is the logic of the Cross. Christ is calling us to live our life according to the logic of the Cross. We are challenged, we are stretched so that we do not follow the logic of this world but the life hereafter. We are pushed to love, to seek peace, to seek forgiveness with all people.
It is not okay to hate somebody and be a Christian. It is not okay to hold a grudge. It is not okay to not forgive.
One of the scary things of priesthood is that you are expected to teach others. If there is another priest around, the fear is compounded because you don’t want to say something wrong in their presence. In the last ten years, I know I have said many things wrong in the presence of Fr Yacoub. In his love, he resists to correct me. There was only one time when he corrected me publicly.
There was a question about what Romans 12:18 really meant – “as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”
I answered, “if you have done all that you can do to live in peace with somebody and they refuse to forgive, and they hold the grudge then that is on them. You had done your part; you can be at peace.”
Fr Yacoub stepped in and said, “We can never stop trying to be at peace with others. Till your last breath, try and live at peace with others.”
Our part never ends. Do good when you can do good. Say good things when you can say good things. And always remember to pray for them. Life is too short to hold grudges, to not forgive, to have enemies, and to hate.
Life is snatched away. It is so fragile. We will all stand before the Lord in our last days. We want to be blameless before Him. The way to stand blameless is by having a heart full of love for all people. Love must be in all that we do. In your last days, God will not measure your good deeds but the the love that compelled you to do good. The weight of your love is what will make you blameless before the Lord. It is our super rational love that will be measured. The irrational love that we are called to. Glory be to God, Amen.